Why it makes sense to transition before electrolysis

My take on this is why would anyone put off transitioning just because they haven’t gotten rid of their male beard? If you’re truly a transsexual, you will transition right away.

I personally transitioned a few months after learning I was a transsexual, and it has worked out well. I was 21 and still in college. I didn’t have any friends, significant others, or family to worry about, and I lived alone and was a loner. My beard was not really a problem since it was light, although it is somewhat noticeable on my upper lip and on my chin sometimes.

For my clients, this is not a problem, because in the best case situation, we would get to first clearance in the first week, and in the average situation where the client doesn’t have that kind of time available, we get to first clearance in 4 to 6 weeks.

If you are not in the public eye, you are right, it doesn’t matter, but if you have frequent public contact, presenting with a face having no perceptible beard is a matter of protecting your own safety. Remember, people hate what they don’t understand.

Hi Mileena:

It was probably better that you transitioned young as far as hair growth is concerned. For someone in their 40's their hairs are more established and may contain some greys or whites.You may wonder why someone waits so late in life too? I knew I was TS as a child, but in those days there was no internet and the information and resources were very poor. I was afraid to tell anyone and as far as I knew there

weren’t many out there like me. So I was in denial since childhood, even though I always harbored this inner secret.

For someone younger, laser may be a good option. For older transitioners who have the greys and whites I mentioned, electrolysis is necessary and you need several days growth so they can work on the hairs. Being full time, that makes you conscious of them.

Also if someone has fairly dense dark hair, they will probably have a beard shadow if they haven’t done hair removal. The beard shadow is awfully hard to hide without thick camoflage which frankly looks like hell!

I am full time but still getting electrolysis. I am glad I started that 2 years ago however since it helps an awful lot in passing. I will be going for surgery in the not too distant future.

Alicia

Thanks James (again!). I have had a few TS friends, and it took them a few years of eletrolyis to get done. I think they went a few times a week. So if you can get clearance tgat fast, that would be great!

How can electrologists clear so fast? When I had electrolyis in the early 90’s, I could tolerate no more than one hour at a time, due to pain. The adam’s apple was the most painful area, but all areas were painful.

Hi Alicia, thanks too for all your replies!

I did transition at 21, but I have also put off anyhting else for years, such as hormones, electrolysis, and SRS and FFS, mostly due to financial reasons, but also due to focus on things like school and work and general lack of focus, and some depression.

I am now 35, and have recently come to the realization that I am not getting any younger, and I better start focussing. I still do not have tons of money, but now that I am self-employed, I have more money and am able to do things like electro and hormones. I can make as much money as how hard I am willing to work, up to a point.

There is the rub.
Most electrology offices across this country can only be distinguished from the 1960’s and 1970’s by the fact that the stereo is an Ipod, computer system, or multimedia center. The electrology equipment in the average office could go back in time and cause no problems in the space time continuum, as the Star Trek fans would say.

If you have an electrologist utilizing cutting edge equipment (including vision and lighting equipment) and that person works on their knowledge and speed, hair removal can break the mundane limits most offices are working with. Unfortunately, people who can get to first clearance in a matter of days are few and far in between.

That’s why those who can and are willing to do that stuff, have people flying in and spending a week or more in town to get their clearance and go home.

Even if you just got first clearance someplace speedy, the rest of your work could go so much faster.

Hi James. Wow, what a faat reply!

I will have to ask what eqipment they use then. I read a post somewhere (not sure if it was here, but I think it was, a few pages past the first page in this forum group), that says LucyPeters uses state of the art equipment. I will ask each electrologist if they use equipment that is computer controlled and if they have light that is better than just a round light.

The problem is I do not know what light and equipment is good, or what to ask for or look for. I wish there were a webpage discussing this.

Re flying in for a week, the problem is also financial for me. I guess it depends on the cost, but it probably would be easier for me to just do 3-4 hours per week. I could save up and wait I guess, but I am tired of making excuses to put off completing my transition.

I guess there is also a resentful/unhappy streak in me that the state of the medical care is such that it is hard for T people to get care locally (be it SRS, FFS, electrolysis, etc.). For most other medical consitions, everyhting is done locally. Why should TS people have to fly to California or Thailand or Montreal just to have routine surgery (SRS), and deal with all the comlications, like having to recover in a foreign place? I’d rather just be home in my own bed while recovering.

Asking electrologists if they have state of the art equipment or newer machines won’t help. You need to know what those are for yourself, and eyeball the things to be sure. Since one can still buy a brand new machine that uses 1970’s technology, a person can say they have a brand new machine, when it is hardly cutting edge. One can even have a computerized machine that is limited in the computerization that it has. Unless you have one of a small number of computerized machines, you can’t even get an insertion delay lower than one second. I know that is shop talk you don’t understand, but surfice it to say that if you can’t get an insertion delay on your computerized machine lower than one second, you can probably remove hair two times as fast as you are now, but the machine won’t let you. Don’t worry, most electrologists don’t even know that nugget of wisdom. Many have machines with auto delays and never use them.

Actually, any proceedure you want done would involve travel if you insisted on having it done by the people in the top of their field.

Hi James, thanks for the info.

<<
Actually, any proceedure you want done would involve travel if you insisted on having it done by the people in the top of their field. >>

That was what I was beginning to think. I hate putting things off, but I might have to just save up for a while so I could afford to do something like you recommend (travel to someone good).

I wish there was a list of high-end electrologists like yourself that I could consult. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Mileena:

 Transition can take in many changes. I am currently waiting for my SRS which could be anytime between October and December. To me that is one of the big items in transitioning. Living full time was also a big leap of faith, especially if you had a lifetime career and everyone knew you from before.

I am not sold on FFS unless it is necessary due to overly masculine features. If you pass well without it then you probably don’t need it.

I think facial hair removal is a must, for most of us. If you have dark hairs, they are almost impossible to cover up even after a close shave. In my case, by the end of the day, I would have a beard growing out.

I think we all go about transitioning in our own way, and yes there are many TS women who get electrolysis done after going full time, and even after SRS. It can take several years of that though till you are at a comfortable point. I had 9-10 lasers and now 84 hours of electrolysis.
The difference from when I started is remarkable. It works, if you stick with the schedule.

You also asked if it hurt, and in my experience yes it does sometimes, depending on the location and hair thickness being treated. Plus it hurt more after HRT.
Just my experience, but if it hurt before, then it will probably hurt now.

Alicia

I agree, most of my clients did not, in my opinion, need FFS. I have actually seen people who looked very good turn out looking very strange after FFS. One of which was a beautiful 19 year old who even had the construction workers in the building next door to my office convinced that she was genetic. They would show her their appreciation, and when she left, say to me things like, “Finally, some REAL women making the rounds over at James’ place… could you give her my phone number?”

Well, she had FFS, and no longer looks like a perfect GG.

In my opinion, you want to have as much hair removal as you can before HRT, because your sensitivity will increase, and some parts of your body will be down right sore just because of the changes going on in your body.

<< One of which was a beautiful 19 year old who even had the construction workers in the building next door to my office convinced that she was genetic. They would show her their appreciation, and when she left, say to me things like, “Finally, some REAL women making the rounds over at James’ place… could you give her my phone number?” >>

James, I find this kind of strange comment to make that I have to comment:

Do you get so much more TS clients than genetic women or men, so much more that construction workers would start to take notice? It just seems to me most TS women are successful in passing or at least not bringing attention to themselves, so that construction workers would not notice or bother to start tracking your clients.

It guess it just seems distrubing to me that construction workers would be approaching you about your T clients. I can’t imageine this happening in any other professional settings, like doctors or counselors offices, or at beauty parlors, etc.

Also, most electrologists have offices in their own house, so usually there is more privacy.

Hi Alcia!

<< Transition can take in many changes. I am currently waiting for my SRS which could be anytime between October and December. To me that is one of the big items in transitioning. Living full time was also a big leap of faith, especially if you had a lifetime career and everyone knew you from before. >>

That is a good point! I guess I was fortunate to have things easier in regards to “making the plunge” (transitioning), so I need to be more sensitive about these things and realize that not everyone is in that situation (some are married, have careers, etc. which makes it harder)

<< I am not sold on FFS unless it is necessary due to overly masculine features. If you pass well without it then you probably don’t need it. >>

For me, I look horrible when my hair is tied back, since my jawline becomes more visible. I look like a guy with a ponytail! Ugh… But I had those same feelings when I first started to wear strappy tank tops (with built-in shelf bra) like women wear, since they revealed so much of my chest, chest acne/blemishes, large upper body, etc. But I eventually found that doing so actually made me pass better, ironically, since only females wear strappy tanks and baby doll t-shirts, not regular t-shirts or shirts like I was wearing before. That sends a strong message to others when they detemrine your gender. And that actually vastly overcomes any male features or acne that the tank tops reveal.

<< I had 9-10 lasers and now 84 hours of electrolysis.
The d<ifference from when I started is remarkable. It works, if you stick with the schedule. >>

Everything I read says that it is unproven if laser is permanent. So little is actually known. Are there T people who actually do laser?!

Alicia

At that time I had an office in a building that had many professional offices on the street level and apartments above. The one directly next to me was an employment agency for construction workers. They frequently would hang out in the parking lot, or inside the office waiting for something to come up on the fly and send them off on a job.

Many clients would come to the office in guy mode, and leave 2 to 3 hours later dressed for the evening as women. Anyone who was sitting in front of the building with nothing to do all day would notice that a guy got out of the green car and went into the building, but a woman came out and left in the green car. Since my clients go from having beards, to having smooth faces to maintain in the space of 4 to 6 weeks, the seeming turn over to these guys sitting around must have seemed to be endless.

Since my clients did have to walk 5 to 10 yards from my front door to their cars, I always walked them out just to be sure that someone was with them when they left. (One word from me and any wayward construction hopeful could take his hard hat 70 miles up the road) Of course, once the client had driven off, and I was walking back to the office door, they had no problem saying things like, “Had I not seen it for myself, I would not have believed it. She’s gorgeous!”

Strangely enough, my clients and I never had any problem with the guys looking for work at the construction employment agency. What we did have problems with was a drunk who lived in the apartments above the businesses. To make a long story short, a bigoted American with nothing to do 6 months out of the year figured that he would become the nuisance the construction workers never were. After mounting mischief climaxed in a night where the police were called to my office 4 times in one day, and the landlord refused to evict the guy even after he burst in my office drunk demanding a fight from either me or one of my clients (one of my female clients’ child was in the waiting room at the time) I shut down, packed up and bought the first house I could with cash on hand the next week and we worked out of that location for two years while I looked for a nicer location. This was no easy search having depleted my cash reserves, on the quick move, while still having the expenses of taking care of my mom, grandmothers, and 7 children left on our doorstep.

Finally, I purchased a commercial building on the main street of the city, near the airport, and these days my clients pull in off the fast traffic street, park in the rear, and use the side entrance never noticed by the world going by. Because I still have not recovered from dumping my savings on that other building, I am still slowly remodeling the current location when I have the time… something I have little of, because I am either out of town speaking, removing hairs, chasing children, or running errands, or writing on this web site. If any of you have connections to one of those remodling shows, send them my way!

See, there are no quick, easy answers with me.

And as for your other post, I know lots of T’s who have done Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation, but none who thought it was the end all, be all, and most thought they had overpaid, and were underdelivered.

I am now finishing up on a gal who spend $4,000 on LASER who said this week, “I wish I had known enough to put that money on this back then.”

Hi James, ok, that makes sense now. I had forgotten than many people have not yet transitioned before doing electrolysis, so coming in as a guy then leaving as a woman would seem bizarre. (You let them change in your office?!). I also didn;t realiZe they had a full beards. When I last did electrolysis, I still shaved, and only left a small patch for the electrologist to target for that one-hour session.

Sorry about the problems with the drunk. I would have gotten a restraining order against him rather than let him bully me into moving, but I guess you must be in a nicer building now. And I would have requested my clients not to change gender until they got home, so as not to be noticeable. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Also, couldn’t you have rented instead for those two years?

In the words of the Dixie Chicks, “Earl walked right through that restraining order and put her in intensive care.”

One must know when to pick one’s battles, and in that situation, it was best to just leave. I could not say that he would not come back with a gun the next day.

Hi Mileena:

I think for some of us it is a case of better late than never. As a child in the 1960’s with very strong GID, I was afraid to tell anyone since it was a much different world back then. I simply went into hiding and denial. If you want to read a good book from someone who transitioned later you should read She’s Not There-By Jennifer Finney Boylan. I am married to a wonderful woman and that book helped her tremendously.

I think that in some cases the HRT helps to soften our facial features, and in my case made my lips fuller and the overall effect more feminine when added to the electrolysis.
My wife doesn’t think I need FFS and she would not lie to me about that. I have naturally good cheekbones which help a lot, and the lips changing made a big difference.

The problem comes when people get FFS just because everyone else is getting it. If you need it and it helps then it is a good thing, but some go overboard and don’t know when to stop. Some people think they need a dozen procedures just because others are doing it.

Some things which help in passing is doing your hair and getting rid of facial hair. If you can make your natural hair look good and don’t need a wig you are way better off.
I had to get a hair transplant to help do that.

James. It sounds like that guy was a real jerk and the world would be better off without guys like that. I have recently transitioned in front of at least a 1000 people who knew me from before and I have had no problems. Perhaps there will come a day when people will not take such “abnormal interest” in people who are trans, and realize that it is about self identity, and we are not like the ones they see on Jerry Springer. Most of us are just normal people, and probably better able to be ourselves after transitioning. When I was in denial, I could be quite paranoid,brooding and insular. I really didn’t want to let people know what I was like inside, and the person inside never got a chance to be herself.

Mileena. If you need FFS or any other procedure,and it helps your confidence then go for it.

Alicia

Thanks Alicia for the advice re FFS. I will see how everything works out, an dmaybe I won;t need it. But it seems to have done wonders on people Like Lynn Conway. I do have a masculine face. Kind of scary looking actually when my hair is pulled back in a pony tail, especially since I am so big (6 ft tall and large frame) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Susan Anton is 6 feet tall (182.88 centimeters) and has a square face that could easily be mistaken for a man if you got rid of her hair and dressed her the right way. She is also considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Hair and makeup are a wonderful thing.

Hi:

I think that FFS is up to you in the long run, but it is surgery, can be risky and sometimes the quest for satisfaction becomes endless.

As James pointed out some women have square faces and still look beautiful. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Were Marlene Dietrich or Bette Davis really beautiful? That depends on who you ask, but they were both considered femme fatales. Their voices weren’t that typical either.

You will find that the majority of women disguise their facial features with makeup, or might do their hair in a more flattering fashion for their facial features. A crooked nose can be visually straightened and a jaw can be made to look more pointed(frontal view), or cheekbones can be accentuated, lips fuller, etc…

I think what James meant by full beards on some clients was that they had to let their hair grow out for a few days prior to treatment. Also they were probably still in the closet somewhat if they had to change to womens attire afterwards. I think that would draw a lot more attention than if they left as they came. I have never done that with my lady, I just simply fessed up to her and said I was going full time as a woman and would be coming as one for future visits if that was OK with her.
After that it was woman mode all the time.
I still detest having to let my hair grow for a few days before treatment however.

Alicia