Plz help idk what to do

You might find this strange, but I’m an 18 year old male who has been plucking his mustache almost weekly. The thing is, is that I’m really into the boyish look (which means no facial hair) so when the hair on my upper lip became darker to where you can see a shadow after shaving I panicked. I’m still not sure why the hair became darker since I’ve been shaving since I was 13. So I became extremely self conscious and irritated that even right after shaving a dark mark was visible. SO then I came up with the brillant idea of plucking it so the hair wouldn’t be visible underneath the skin. At first it worked perfecting with not having to shave for a whole week or more. But I should have researched more bcuz now I realize what happens and what so many bulletines are on this forum… The hair is thicker than it was and growing much quicker than it ever has! Now it starts to be visible under the skin in two days if not one. And the shadow is darker and more noticable than ever (its very noticable). Its makes me so self conscious and almost depressed bcuz the amount of frustration it causes. So what I want to know is if I should just continue to pluck assuming that its at the worst it will ever be. Or leave it in hopes that it will revert. Or lastly wait until I can afford lazer hair removal and do that. Lazer hair removal has really been on my mind and almost my last hope. So I’d just like some advice and insight. Thank you soooo much.

The shadow appearing is not uncommon given your age. The same thing happened to me when I was 18, from hair that was visible but easily shaved and no shadow, to the hair coarsening and the shadow appearing :cry: At first I didn’t understand why the shadow was there either; they never told us much about hair and puberty in health class in high school, other than one will have facial hair and other new hair along the way. They never warned us in late puberty the facial hair could turn thick and dense so fast. I was taken totally by surprise :o

Other males your age with your ethnic background probably also have shadows. Your facial hair is probably quite “normal”, just look around. I know for a long time I thought I was the only one until I started to notice heavy shadows on others.

Your facial hair will not revert or get any better with age, nothing short of female hormones will slow or reduce it and even then the hair will still be there just not as heavy. Your hair may continue to thicken and get more dense, and the shadow may continue to get worse. It may not be related to the plucking. There is hair under the skin you can’t pluck out, so you will still have some shadow anyway. Plus you may be left with redness and irritation. I know, I tried plucking to remove the shadow too, it didn’t work.

However, if you are considering laser or electrolysis, stop plucking now. You will make permanent removal more difficult. I used to pluck out my facial hair, I know it is hard to completely stop.

Ah, if only we could spend a few days together Mr. Yobi. I’d send you home with a bare face, complements of trusty old electrolysis :grin:

You also have to understand that you’re only 18 and are still in the prime age of developing your facial hair. It is likely you’ll get more hair every year for the next 6-8 years, at least. I’m sure you are aware that facial hair is normal for men and the overwhelming majority has it. You can reduce it with various methods to make it easier to shave and to get rid of most of the shadow, but if you’re planning to remain a natural male for the rest of your life, it’s not going to go away completely due to hormones.

Thanks so much for your reply. Well from all of you. I had no idea that in late puberty there would be more facial hair and that it would become darker and coarser :[. Also your ability to relate and have gone through the same thing helped me a lot as well.

I think what my problem is that the shape of my face is more round than sharp and flat which doesn’t make it work for my look. Also its just my mustache right now and most people don’t wear just a mustache. I’ve been wearing the long flat ironed hair look (some ignorant people might say emo or scene) along with being thin with a small build and the facial hair just makes me look weird. I feel like when people look at me they’ll be looking at the shadow. Plus I’m still in highschool and everyone that isn’t a senior (and not even many seniors) don’t have what I have. For them right after they shave you can’t see anything. It probably has to do with me being half hispanic and all the other kids being caucasian. idk I just feel different and weird and feel like the shadow looks really bad so I get very self conscious. But once again thank you so much for your advice and care. I think I’ll just shave for now and try to get comfortable with myself. Then as a poor college student try to get laser done.

What you’re describing is completely normal. One of my good friends is 26 and his hair is still patchy and still developing. He would actually like to have MORE hair since most of his hair is on his upper lip as well and gives him a shadow. It’s completely normal and you’ll see the rest of the kids getting more and more hair in college. Actually, you’ll probably be one of the least hairy kids in college :slight_smile:

Thanks for the encouragement :]. I’ve been trying to get comfortable with myself, but its just so hard. Facial hair has always turned me off and the fact that my shadow is so much darker than the “norm”, i guess, really sucks :[. Anyway you mentioned a way to reduce the shadow in one of your other posts and the other guy said something about if I continue plucking then permanent hair loss will become more difficult. Could you plz elaborate?

I can’t really suggest a solution, but I can say that I understand completely. I too have always hated the look of facial hair and think that it conflicts with my “look”. I am also small built with long straight hair and have been mistaken for “emo”. Only difference is that I like looking feminine as opposed to “boyish”. As a kid I even had nightmares of growing facial hair. I was horrified when I found out just how long after 18 years of age the hair growth would continue to progress. I am now almost 26 years old and I still notice a continual progression in hair thickness and density even though I am naturally less hairy than most guys. I remember thinking at 18 that my hair growth was done developing and considered myself lucky that I had so little, but facial hair is just something that guys like us will all have to learn to deal with (aside from permanent options which all have risks).

Same thing happened to me. I was 19 and thought “wow, I am not hairy, I never really got the hair at puberty that most males get!”. Then a few months later, wham!

When I was in high school, we were told puberty ends at around 19. I thought that meant the hair would be in by then if it was coming. My doctor told me later it was common for some males to go through later puberty into the early 20s. Whoops! :frowning:

There are two permanent methods: laser and electrolysis. For coarse dark hair, laser is a more efficient option.

Some people experience hair getting stronger after continuous plucking, but that’s mostly on women. As a male, it’ll probably get darker and more coarse on its own due to hormones.

from my experience the longer you do this the worse it will get. try get laser or electrolysis asap while it is manageable. it will probably be easy to treat at the moment. if you get electrolysis you can go about every 3 weeks for treatments and with laser i think its about every 8 - 12 weeks. i havent tried laser yet but i find electrolysis for small areas like this quite easy and you get the result of being hairless instantly (with some redness :stuck_out_tongue: for a day or 2)

I’m so glad theres someone that went through almost exactly what I’m going through… It just sucks so bad in addition to facial hair I’m gettin more body hair too and its driving me crazy, really. It makes me feel unattractive even though with out it I really am… Once I have enough money I’m going to get laser done bcuz really the shadows looks so pecular on me. I’ve heard though that its not really permenant, but rather just “reduces” the hair. Like in an extended period of time it will grow back, but less thick and coarse. Either way its better than nothing.

but can I ask how you dealt with your the increased darkness if your facial hair and it conflicting with your look? Like weren’t you frustrated and almost defeated?

I hear electrolysis is more expensive though and money isn’t something i have right now. Plus I’ve read up on it and it seems to have a lot harsher possible side effects than laser.

There isn’t much you can do about the shadow other than try and cover it with heavy makeup (and I can speak with authority on this, it isn’t easy to do and still make it look natural up close.)

Laser and electro can help with the shadow of course.

Both laser and electro have some risks. Improperly performed laser can lead to horrible side effects, if you do a web search you can find some poor folks who were burned and scarred from laser. Regardless which you choose, make sure you do your homework and find a professional, competent practitioner. Laser and electro have pros and cons which you can read about extensively here on this forum. Also make sure you read the Laser FAQ and ask around here for laser and electro referrals.

Expensive is relative. I thought $100 per treatment once every 3 months for 5 times total was a bargain on my underarms to avoid constant irritation, ingrowns, etc. For such a small area, permanent removal is relatively inexpensive. If it means a lot to you, you can get a part-time job and easily cover it. You’ll probably only need $100-200 per month at most, likely less.

ok, so would it be bad to do it once to see what it looks like? i’m 25 and haven’t done it before but want to see what i would like after plucking…

what do you guys think?

What area do you want to tweeze? How much hair do you have?

are you referring to laser or electrolysis when you give those prices? It means a ton to me and I’m definately going to go through with it. Do you suggest any national chain laser hair removal companies? Cuz I don’t really to do extensive searching and research on all the local places here

Hey I feel you!

I’m not a pro on hair facts, but I can give you some advice: if you want permanent removal on your upper lip, electrolysis is your best option. Speaking from experience as well as observing others, I can tell you that the worst place for laser is the upper lip, as it has little to no effect there (atleast for me and the other accounts I’ve read).

Hope this helps, and good luck! Just be sure to research into hair removal and not rush into it.

A~B

  • You can shave the area to see what it looks like without hair. Or you can wax. Depends on the area. Shaving has no effect on the hair so that’s a better temporary option.

  • Laser actually works very well on the upper lip. What laser doesn’t work well on is hair that is NOT coarse. So if you have that on the upper lip (or anywhere else), then it won’t work.

  • And I would NOT recommend most national chain places because most of them don’t carry good machines and have too high of a turnover of employees for anyone to be very experienced. Read the FAQs and run a search for your city or state here to find past recommendations.