Am I the only one ?
No, you are not the only one. I get so upset sometimes about the hair on my face. I usually bleach my upper lip and chin, and spend at least half an hour in the morning tweezing. For the most part I had great friends growing up who would never dream of metioning my excess hair, but I did have moments I will never forget where kids my own age made rude remarks about my upper lip/mustache. Now that I am older I also have hair on my chin. A rude stranger in his early 20s recently asked me why I have a beard, and that it was gross. (I am now in my 30s and it had been years since anyone had said anything to me about my facial hair/shadow) I didn’t respond about my facial hair, but I did tell the rude stranger what I thought about his lack of fashion sense, and that Karma is a bitch! Some people just don’t understand that this is not something that we wanted to happen to us! This week I feel very self absorbed. I have a laser appointment later on this week, so I was told to stop tweezing. I have been shaving all week, and I know my hair is so much more noticeable. I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself when so many others in the world are suffering a worse fate. Hopefully the laser treatments will work. Anyway, to have made a short story very long, you are not the only one!!!
I guess its true about misery loving company.I really appreciate your honest reply .I have trouble putting in to words how this problem has effected every aspect of my life .What a waste of time. Society doesn’t care what you know,its how good you look.This only applies to Woman ,it seems.Your right about feeling sorry for yourself.I can throw a pretty good pity party. How are your laser treatments going?How many have you had?
If you think only women are judged by their looks, and hair, just ask any bald guy for a second opinion. For a third opinion on how even looking good doesn’t matter, ask a short guy.
You are here, so you have taken the first step to peace of mind on this issue. You are obtaining information even if you are not already getting treatment.
Stay with us, and share your information, your feelings, and your journey.
Your right Mr. W ,But being short and or bald is excepted in todays world.A man thinning or being bald is really expected .Respect and opportunity are still given.
It won’t keep you from getting a job, but it will keep you from getting a date.
My back hair clients, most of whom are over six feet and good looking, tell me that their back hair is the first thing girls comment on when they see them.
Don’t think guys have no problems in this area. They have expectations to meet as well.
My first appointment for laser treatments is tomorrow. I’m very nervous and excited about it. I’ll post on Friday about the experience. I’m really glad that I found this board. It is comforting to know that others have similar problems, and that some people have been pleased with treatment results.
I too feel that this has an impact on all aspects of my life. I really hope this works. It would be nice to be able to relax in public (dring the day especially) and not worry about hairiness for once!
Have you ever had any kind of professional hair removal done? Please hang in there and know that others feel the same way that you do. I for one fully understand where you are coming from!
I was a guina pig for the tweezer scam and drug experiments. Had an overy removed when I was 20.
The one left is not working.Do you know anyone personally that has had laser done? Are you having it done only on your face? I wish you the best of luck!! Hope you took Andrea’s advise and checked up on whom ever is “behind the light”. What type of laser are they using?
Mr.W, I hope I didn’t offend you. That was not on my list of things to do today.I hope your client wouldn’t want to date anyone whom would comment about his appearance in a negative way. I feel a job is more important then dating. If you don’t take care of yourself who will.
Dearest Jaynn, you have not offended me in the least. I only hoped to point out to you that men don’t have a free ride either.
Of course, my client understands that he is better off without the kind of girl who mouths off about someone’s back hair (at least he has learned to fake it after hours and hours alone talking to me) and yet, he still doesn’t want to hear about it from some stranger.
Luckily, he does have a good income source, and he is taking care of himself so well, that he is almost rid of every back hair he ever had now
Stick with us, and keep us posted.
Where did ya go?
i too, get social anxiety. i love camping and outdoors stuff, but i rarely do it cause of my hair. i never wear my hair up in public, i’d rather sweat my ass off before i put it up in front of people. i’m going to look into electrolysis again…thanks to this board!
</font><blockquote><font size=“1” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>quote:</font><hr /><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Originally posted by babyblue:
<strong>i too, get social anxiety. i love camping and outdoors stuff, but i rarely do it cause of my hair. i never wear my hair up in public, i’d rather sweat my ass off before i put it up in front of people. i’m going to look into electrolysis again…thanks to this board!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Please DO NOT minimize social anxiety. You don’t just “get” social anxiety, nor can you turn it on or off, as you seem to think. Avoiding doing things you enjoy because of your hair is NOT social anxiety.
I too can relate to social anxiety, if it is called that in my case. The fear of hair showing is always on the back of my mind. Therefore it disrupts my concentration and the clothes that I am able to wear are also limited. Therefore I dont fit in and feel feminine compared to other women who are able to freely wear whatever they choose to regardless of how much skin is showing. During summer is the worst as I have to cover myself up more so I avoid social scenes.
I do not get panick attacks but my way of dealing with my situation is to become introverted once summer is here,
so no Youre not alone !
[ January 16, 2004, 07:30 PM: Message edited by: Lady_Persia ]
No you guys are NOT alone!! Having hair issues is soo hard for people withOUT hair issues to understand… I get really down when I think that man, some of us were born with a lot of body/face hair and some of us were born with virtually none. I truly cannot imagine what it would be like to be in the latter category. Imagine how different life would be! Imagine how differently you would feel about yourself and your own life!! Ugh sorry I guess I’m dragging everyone down with me… I just feel gross today Thank God for this forum!!!
I’m not sure why and or To whom you are directing your comment,nor do I recall any mention of being able to “just turn it on or off” or how it was minimized. Could you explain?
</font><blockquote><font size=“1” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>quote:</font><hr /><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Originally posted by Jim Elliott:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size=“1” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>quote:</font><hr /><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Originally posted by babyblue:
<strong>i too, get social anxiety. i love camping and outdoors stuff, but i rarely do it cause of my hair. i never wear my hair up in public, i’d rather sweat my ass off before i put it up in front of people. i’m going to look into electrolysis again…thanks to this board!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Please DO NOT minimize social anxiety. You don’t just “get” social anxiety, nor can you turn it on or off, as you seem to think. Avoiding doing things you enjoy because of your hair is NOT social anxiety. </blockquote><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Actually, body image issues most definately play a role in social anxiety. Differences from the idealized norm are often the focus of negative attention by others, or of a perception of negative attention; these differences can become a point around which not only behaviours, but identity, are organized.
What beliefs underlie these behaviours? “I’m ugly, unattractive, unloveable; there is something shameful and universally disgusting about me, which I have to hide from others; my body is something I have to master and control in order to gain acceptance…” etc. These are powerful, poisonous beliefs.
What behaviours can be involved? Hypervigilance about the body, constant fear of being “discovered”, and hatred toward the offending trait; an inability to engage in intimacy, or to trust others in this capacity… If, as has happened with me, and with other people here, the world confirms that the beliefs mentioned are justified (e.g., you’re teased, bullied); and if there are other features of difference, or if positive attributes don’t meet with recognition, a person with a trait of difference might respond by marginalizing him/herself, or by being marginalized by others.
Hair has definately been a factor in of the development of my social anxiety.
And it’s easy to see why: hair is visible; it’s permanent, unless you have access to expensive removal treatments; it’s on your most intimate organ (skin); it’s highly associated with masculinity, which problematizes socialization for girls; it’s also associated with class, through associations held with “race” (which is a cultural concept, not a reality, btw).
And this “insignificant” trait of being “hairy” can act as a lightening rod; the anxieties related to these other fields of life can be focussed on “hairiness”, rather than race, gender, sexuality, class… you can never know what a person is really saying when s/he complains about being “hairy”, or having a “big” nose, or being too tall, or too short… I think you should suspend judgement when you hear what you think is a ‘trivial’ concern.
[ April 03, 2004, 02:16 PM: Message edited by: rain ]
I think the problem is that social anxiety is a serious mental condition and is much more involved and systemic than feeling anxious, shy or embarrassed. I have social anxiety and have been receiving treatment for it. The reduction in my symptoms is what let me to seek electrolysis in the first place. Social anxiety has had a profoundly negative debilitating impact on my social life and job for years and I found all sorts of things to fixate on to explain my self loathing, excess hair included.
I have two questions …
What type of therapy ,counseling,medicine,(anti-depressants) will ever make me feel good about going out in public as long as there is visible hair where it shouldn"t be ??? Even if I were able to wear enough make up to cover it. I know its there and will be there tomarrow!Has anyone found a good counseler\hypnotist???
How do you get family members to understand how having this problem affects you ?
I understand you’re looking for permanent hair removal. Then why not consider electrolysis, which is the only method of permanent hair removal. Read around on the electrolysis section of this board. There is a ton of good information. May be you should try to attack your problem directly.