My electrologist thinks I am gay or a transsexual.

I am a guy getting my whole face done. Everything must go. I have been going to my electrologist regularly for almost a year. In the past few months, I have noticed that she has been treating me very differently then when I first started. Maybe she thinks I am a transsexual.

She often refers to me as if I were a female. Here is an example: We were talking about something we both had in common, and then she said, “you remind me of one of my other girls that comes here”.
It wasn’t, “you remind me of this girl that comes here” It’s like she implies that I am one of her girls.
Then the other day when I was scheduling an appointment on the phone, someone asked her who was on the phone, and I overheard her say, “It’s Morgan”. I am scheduling her next appointment.

Also she has said things like I am glowing today, and she also has invited me to Avon parties. She complains about how men can be this and that.On top of that she sometimes brings up her transsexual clients. Things like this happen all the time.

I am not really sure I want to ask her what she thinks of me. Though I wonder if treating my whole face makes her think that.

Well, you have many options here:

A) Show up late and tell her that you were stuck on line waiting for the cashier to ring up your Fruit of the Loom Boxers.

B) Ask her where she thinks it is best to break the news to your pregnant girlfriend that you are the one who fathered her mother’s new baby; the Jerry Springer Show or the Public Library?

C) You can ask her why she refers to you as a female when you urinate standing up.

D) Quoting the writers of the Odd Couple, you can tell her that when one ASSUMES…

E) Ask her if she knows where you can get steroids over the counter as you want to build muscle fast.

F) Ask her if she gives discounts to TG folk and if she says yes, wear a skirt next time.

G) You can ask her where she got her SRS surgery because she almost passes.

All kidding aside, my gut reaction is, discuss it directly with her. If you suspect that she is discussing you with others, tell her this is very bad as it can lead to loss of clients or even litigation.

On my intake health history form, I do have areas where clients can indicate if they are using any hormones, if they have had surgery, if they expect to have surgery, and some other questions that gives the client an opportunity to either let me know or not. I suggest other electrologists do the same as this will guide them.

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If it matters to you, you will just have to break it to her that the only thing you are trying to lose is your facial hair.

I have been on the receiving end of some bad behavior from electrologists myself, including one who interrogated me about my sexuality as if she was shining the light on me and threatening to break my thumbs if I did not fess up. She even said, “You might as well just tell me now that you are Gay, or a He-She, because I am going to find out!” (the things I have gone through just to try to find out who is good in Anytown USA <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />)

Come to think about it, the electrologist who first trained me actually fessed up that until we had known each other for a year and I had not sprouted boobs, she was positive that I was preparing for SRS, and that my story about a face full of ingrown hairs, although obviously true, was just a cover for my “real motives.”

Just keep in mind, women really don’t know what a face full of razor burn, or ingrown hairs feels like.

Maybe it’s not very common for a guy to want to be rid of facial and body hair. I can see why she might think that. I am afraid to hurt her feelings. Actually now that I think about it, we have such a great friendship, and as long as she thinks it, it doesn’t really make me feel all that uncomfortable. Also maybe she is trying to be open minded and understanding.

If you are really concerned about her, then tell her that discussing your next appointment with SOMEONE ELSE, referring to you as a SHE, to someone else, can get her into big problems should her next, not so understanding client, decides to sue her.


Who cares what she thinks? If it bothers you - get another person to take care of you.

Hi Morgan:

For what it is worth the name Morgan is sometimes a girls name too, so maybe the electrolygist is going by that in her calling you she?

I think that even if you were gay, or a trans person your electrolygist would be accepting of that. But since you are not then she should be fine with you pointing out that fact to her too, especially if it bothers you.


It reminds me of an interview with Ronald Reagan, Jr. After lots of talk of his work in the ballet, and discussions of his place in the media, he was asked about the rumors that he is gay and what he thinks about all the talk. He said, something like, If I am gay, it would be news to my wife and children. In all seriousness, I don’t have a problem with people who think I am gay. I understand where they might get that idea based on small snippets of information and jumping to conclusions. There is nothing wrong with being gay, I just don’t happen to be gay, so it is no different from when people make any other mistake about me. They have not insulted me, they have just made a mistake. They are not being mean, they are just wrong. I point it out to them if it matters, and I ignore it if they refuse to believe.

I agree with Ron. I also share his experience. For some reason, many people think that a 40 year old never married male electrologist and entertainer who has cared for 10 children who he did not father sounds like a confirmed homosexual. Of course, I think anyone who really knows me would laugh at that allegation.

You should probably tell her that you are not gay or trans, just so she gets it right. An Indian who is mistakenly called an Arab is quick to correct someone, just as a Japanese mistaken for a Chinese does the same. What makes this situation any different? Are you embarrassed about having to make an affirmative statement that outs you as a person who is in fact interested in sex? LOL <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Just think, you secret will be out. The news papers will all say, Man comes out in favor of heterosexual sex! Smaller type will say, doesn’t denigrate other sexual options.


It is an unfortunate aspect of our society that people try harder to be acceptable to others than in just being their true selves. As a result we get a homogenized society of blandness and very dull, boring, uptight people.

Men in general are so homophobic that they go to extremes to try to prove they are not gay, even to the extreme of killing someone. that is pretty sad and pathetic when you think about it.

I don't expect things to change overall, but we all have a role to play in our own corners of the world. We can either hide in our little boxes or just be ourselves and accept others for who they are rather than what we want them to be.


One of the things that is sine que non in my practice is that I respect the privacy of my clients. Many people do not even want others to know that they are having electrolysis done, let alone that they are TS, TG or whatever their personal business is. A client has the expectation of privacy in their treatment plan and to breach this trust is leaving oneself wide open to civil actions. How would one feel if they visited their doctor and the MD started blabbing their private information to everyone?

You might want to tactfully explain this to your electrologist the next time you see her. But then again, you might want to go elsewhere. If she talks about others, there’s no telling what she is saying to others about you.
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Just a thought. Part of the responsibility of an electrologist is to maintain the confidentiality of those they treat.


Sorry to butt in but…Arlene I love this post …this is better than Dear Abby!

Hi Nanci:

Yes! And we have nicer hairdos too!


OK so last week my electrologist held a skin care party at her house, and yes I went. Seeing as my bathroom sink, shelves and bedroom is cluttered with way too many hair and skin care products, I think I am just as obsessed if not more so with skin care and beauty as any woman could be. The interesting thing is that I met one of her TG clients.
She was very informed. In fact as I posted earlier, my electrologist was right. We do have much in common. We were talking for a while and I found out that the, “T” or “MtF” community as she calls it, gets a special discount on electrolysis. This is good to know, because if my electrologist thinks that about me, then I am getting a special rate! That would seem to explain why every other electrolysis is so much more lol. So I don’t think I am going to say a word.

Now that is using your head <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can think of a few situations where there would be some misconceptions I would not want to re-educate anyone about if they got the wrong idea about me as well. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi Morgan:

You said:

“We were talking for a while and I found out that the, “T” or “MtF” community as she calls it, gets a special discount on electrolysis. This is good to know, because if my electrologist thinks that about me, then I am getting a special rate!”

You are the first person I have heard of that doesn't mind being mislabeled just for the sake of a discount.

Most electrologists give as good a rate as they can to their steady, long term customers. TS women are usually very dedicated and steady customers, so warrant the loyalty rate.


Actually being mislabeled has been an advantage to me for the first time. I get queerish labels thrown at me from every direction anyway so names don’t really bother me. However, what is nice in addition to the discount on electrolysis is that I get invitations to all her little functions girly as they are. I am meeting new people and making interesting friends which is nice when you don’t have many friends to begin with.

Hi Morgan:

You have a very enlightened attitude about things which has opened new doors of friendship for you.

I think we all have to be tolerant of differences in others as well as feeling free to express our own uniqueness. Conformity means compromising our individuality.


I am already doing some laser hair removal and am getting ready to start talking to electrologists (complete facial hair removal) in the next couple weeks. I am pretty sure they will be curious about me…

Hi Nikki:

For what it is worth, I didn’t come out to my electrologist until I was ready to begin full time, and she was wonderful about it. I consider her a friend. I think if I encountered a “moralistic uptight”, I would go elsewhere.

Good luck with your hair removal.


Thank you Alicia. :slight_smile: