My electrologist thinks I am gay or a transsexual.

Special Issues Transgender / Transsexual
#21

Hi Alicia,

Thanks for the compliments. Unfortunately I would say that in my case enlightenment is more attained from having been treated unfairly. Also in that I seem to relate very well to women.

Hi Nikki,

I had another electrologist once who was “moralistic and upright”. Though she seemed really nice on the surface, she was totally hateful towards anyone who didn’t think like her. Every time I would get treated she would play the most staunch conservative radio stations, or preachy church run stations and worse try to get me into a political discussion.
I don’t like anything political and try to avoid anything related, yet she had no hesitation to label me a liberal! It’s like if you’re not singing their song you may as well be one of, “them”. It was funny in that she is willing to take money from transsexuals, gays, or queers like me people, yet she constantly talks about us as if we immoral freaks and weirdos who need to be prayed for. I could not agree with you more. It’s best to just get far away from people like that.

#22

MorganPerry,

I totally agree. Having good luck with the laser people so far and the electrologist I am going to see recommended this site (and I got her name from here) so I should be good. I will not tolerate what that person did to you. That would have been my last visit - I have no tolerance for intolerant people. :wink:

Thanks

#23

I can imagine it’s annoying and unpleasant to have someone assume something about you that’s not true. But it does sound like she’s trying to err on the side of being open to someone with special needs, rather than being malicious.
I’ll bet the majority of male patients she sees who are working on their faces are transgendered, and very very shy to talk about it, so she’s trying to be helpful.
I wouldn’t let it go on for too much longer if you want her to not think of you as trans. The longer it goes on, the worse she will feel when she finds out you’re just a guy who wants to avoid dealing with facial hair. Just approach it with some humor and lightness: “Hey, I’ll bet a lot of guys who come in here for this are doing the transsexual thing. That must be tough! All I want to do is get rid of this beard.”

#24

One thing I have heard from every electrologist I have been to (5 if you’re wondering, is that their experience of transsexuals are they tend to be very quiet or shy but then one day show up wearing womens clothes and makeup. It probably shocks the electrologist when that happens. I guess it’s really hard to ask a person it their Transsexual or vice versa, so that’s probably what happened with me.

#25

Hi Morgan:

In regards to what you said here:

I had been going to my electrologist for almost 2 years and in that time we got to know each other well, but I had always been in male mode and hadn't told her I was TS.

Now my official name change had come through and I was going to start living full time as a woman. I told her about my plans and let her know that at my next appointment I would be dressed as a woman and quite presentable. She said she was OK with that and was true to her word. We are still good friends, probably better than before.

 I agree that people should their electrologist know ahead of time if they are going to make such a change.

Alicia

#26

OK so much has changed since I last posted this thread. It has taken me years to finally reach a point where I can admit to myself that I am Trans gender. It really adds up now and I needed a little help from a therapist to reach this point.

Though I would have never really have admitted this before, For my whole life I have always secretly felt that I am female. I never really actually put it together until this past month.

I had to eventually ask myself why as long as I can remember have I been interested in female activities? Why have I always put so much effort into making myself look androgynous or pretty and possibly as female looking as possible? Why am I so interested in stopping testosterone with Spiro?! Why am I getting my whole face and body treated with electrolysis and laser hair removal? Why am I always put off in someway when I am around guys, and why do I always seem to adopt a submissive role whenever I am around a group of guys?

I could even remember creeping thoughts on several occasions of wanting to dress like a woman and then feeling shame because I would feel too male looking to wear one, and hating myself for even considering that. I even wished I could look like a girl and have all the female ailments like I hear biological girls complain about.

Yet on top of all these strange feelings, I always told myself that I am not like those weirdo transvestites (sorry old prejudices). Then I would beat myself up and tell myself to start thinking like a man, and then recently I started to feel deeply distraught as if some unknown voice has told me that my life is not on the right track. All the while I could still not put these feelings into perspective.

So hear I am now at 28 and at a point where I admit that maybe in fact really need to become female. I still do not really think that I am a transvestite or cross dresser. I think that there is something creepy about a guy in a dress, especially a guy with a 5 o clock shadow Yuck (sorry, that’s just the way I have always felt).

#27

Congratulations on your discovery/acceptance - I wish I could have come to that conclusion at your age instead of 38. I have been seeing a therapist for a few months and finally start hormones next month.

I understand where you are coming from with the beating yourself up part. :frowning:

#28

Hi Morgan:

Self acceptance is never an easy thing, and takes time.
I would advise you to take time to come to terms with this and time to overcome the denial. We need to develope real courage to be ourselves, where that was something we never had before.

Overcoming a lifetime of self repression and fear does not come overnight. As much as we gain in self identity we also face losses in family and friends along the way.

Good luck.

Alicia

#29

And if she think about you in that way, who cares. Although that’s what I should think (but to be hounest, I like to wear som female stuff now and then). You could have fun if you do not think it’s to hard. Otherwise tell why you let your face done and explain it’s not because you’re TG / TS etc.

Hank

#30

Ah now I read further I see things developed. One thing, although I am not a big fan of big bearded men in dresses as well not that all started not from free will. For some it will be a problem (or has been) and it is nog encouraging to read that you are creepy. I have the luck that I could be quite passable (slim, not to big) but I’ve seen other and what I understand from a lot of them it is quite difficult especially beceause majority only crossdress partime and in secret besides a normal married live.

Hank