I would LOVE a womans opinion.

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I’m not certain which room is the better one for this question, so I might post it in other rooms:

I would like an honest and sincere opinion from women on what they think about men who shave their bodies. Is it too effeminate? Is it too vain? Is it not masculine to shave your body? Is it a turn off to find a man with chest stubble, or arm stubble? Even if a woman prefers a man without chest hair, would they prefer a hairy chest to a chest that is shaven?

I am dating a girl that I am crazy about. She prefers a hairless chest. So far she doesn’t know that I shave mine because I am very cautious not to let her see or touch my chest unless it is clean shaven. I know that many people might say that if she truly cares about me, then it won’t matter what my chest looks like, but I am asking a more generalized question here. What are womens impressions of a guy who shaves his body?

-Joshua

#2

The verdict is definitiely still out on this one, although I’d say the trend in the US is toward men with no chest hair. Gay and bodybuilding subcultures sort of set the tone for male body fashion, and right now the trend appears to be less is more.

I’ll let you in on a secret, Joshua-- while you are busy hiding your hair removal from your girlfriend, she’s doing the same to you. I’ve certainly snuck into the bathroom to pluck a stray facial hair or shave my armpits when my honey wasn’t around, not to mention the constant eyebrow work!

I don’t think she’ll think less of you for shaving-- in fact, she may appreciate knowing that you’re going through all the hassle just because you want her to be pleased!

#3

Andrea…as usual, thanks for the quick reply. I hope you are right about her being fine with me shaving, because I know that sooner or later, she’ll figure it out. I also realize that she probably does some grooming that I’m not aware of, but it is again socially acceptable for her to do so. I’ll certainly report back when she figures it out :smile:

P.S. I just realized that I have a 5 star rating!! When and how did that happen?

  • Joshua
#4

Joshua,

I like men with some hair on them because it’s very masculine. Almost anything that’s associated with men rather than women is sort of a reminder of virility - like large arm muscles, and hair on the chest.

But I wouldn’t think shaving the chest was feminine, and the only reason I wouldn’t is because I think everyone knows that body builders do this - so that kind of makes it acceptable.

My personal opinion (and that’s what you asked for! :smile: ) is that it would be better to let her in on your secret, or let it grow out, or not worry about the stubble than to keep her away from your chest. Because I, and I suspect many other women too, really like to touch or snuggle against a man’s chest, particularly if it’s strong.

#5

Anonymous,

 thanks for your thoughts.  I'm considering letting her find out on her own (that is assuming that she hasn't already figured it out).  I know she prefers a hairless man because she has said as much in the past.  I'm just hoping she can forgive me for not being "naturally" hairless.  I am just worried about her curling up next to a chest of stubble.  Thanks for the help.
  • Joshua
#6

Hey Joshua,
Personally, I like a man with a little burl. I’ve dated guys who shave/wax their chest, legs and arms, and I find it a bit effeminate- and especially irritating when the stubble grows in. I suppose a clean shaven body looks nicer to some women…but I prefer one to be ‘au naturale’ -masculine, sexy…
Of course, it’s just my opinion.
If shaving or waxing your chest is making your life a living hell, I say let it go. It is acceptable for a man to be hairy, and if a woman really cares about you, she will accept you for the way you are.

#7

Joshua,
I know women who prefer men with lots of hair and I know some who are the opposite. Those who prefer the hairless are aware that most of these men shave. And they are all ok with that. But do watch for the stubble (that goes with anywhere you shave). But, I am sure your girlfriend isn’t dating you only because you have a smooth chest, it’s a perk. She is with you because of who you are. But eventually you two are going to have to discuss it, and I can tell you that it won’t make a bit of difference. And once you do discuss it, you won’t be as concerned if she does see your stubble and you can slowly let your guard down. Best of luck.

#8

Everyone:

I want to offer my most sincere thanks for all of those who have given their opinion on this subject.  I have read and considered everyone's thoughts.  I had always thought that shaving my chest was something very few people did outside of certain sports.  I have learned through this website and by talking to others around the gym (and frankly just keeping my eyes open) that it is much more common than I thought.  

I don't want my thanks to be the end of this discussion and welcome input from others.

Thanks again,

  • Joshua
#9

well, i don’t know if you’re still interested in a woman’s opinion, but my friends and i were just talking about this, so i thought i’d share. here’s my thing: personally, i prefer less hairy guys, but it should be visible, particularly on arms. a guy with smooth arms, it seems strange, and would cause me to wonder – very few people, especially guys, have no arm hair, so i would probably be able to guess if a guy shaved his arm hair. my friends agreed with this, however, different girls have very different hair-on-guys preferences. it really just depends on the girl. as for shaving your chest hair in such a way that your girl doesn’t figure it out… i would find it pretty strange to see stubble on a guy’s arm or chest, and i’d rather see the actual body hair than stubble – stubble brings more attention to your body hair than the hair in its natural form. so, if you plan on continuing with the shaving, be certain she doesn’t feel or see the stubble, there’s a risk of freaking her out. anyway, unless you’re really really hairy, i don’t think most girls would have a problem with normal amounts of body hair on a guy. anyway, i feel like i’m babbling, so i’ll end this. i hope this has helped a little. =)

#10

This thread is an “oldie” but I think that it’s still very relevant.

It would be great if the ladies could express their opinion and preferences about “smooth” men. Ladies your feedback would be greatly appreciated and if it’s not too much work–could you ask your friends and see what their reactions and attitudes are???

It would also be great if you could state your preferences such as (no back hair, chest–no difference, legs, arms pits etc…)

To make our little poll even more accurate, could you mention your relative age and location (i.e, 30s West coast, Deep south, UK, or wherever you might be) as well as your impression of the percentage of men who shave in your area or country.

Thanks for your feedback!!!

#11

You should consider some factors in making your decision:
Are you comfortable with your chest hair?
Do you want to fool with having to remove it, not to mention the worry about stubble, etc.?
Do you want to date a woman who would drop you because of something as unimportant as chest hair? (I’m not saying she would. Only you know her that well.)

Here is a little story to think about. I met my husband when we were barely 17. At that time, I told him I thought really hairy men were disgusting, especially men with hairy backs. Well, guess what. We’ve been married going on 18 years, and about 1-1/2 years into our relationship, he started sprouting hairs all over, especially on his back! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> In the last few years, since my hysterectomy, I’ve sprouted a few hairs that no woman wants as well. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Needless to say, I had to eat my words. Thank goodness I matured and apologized before my own unwanted hairs came. He saw that it wasn’t because I was on the receiving end of such an opinion. I still am not thrilled about either of our unwanted hairs, but I look past them. Chest hair is hardly comparable, and you might think about all the ladies who actually like hairy chests. Maybe it’s because I’m 35, but I wouldn’t want a man who was higher maintenance than I am.

#12

Hi tattudemom!

Thanks for your reply! You’re right that a relationship shouldn’t demand on the amount or lack of hair, but what do you mean that you wouldn’t want to be with a man that is “higher maintainance than you”? A lot of straight men like myself prefer the smooth look for its comfort and appearance as well as for athletic reasons. Honestly, walking around with a “fur coat” in the summer is not a lot of fun! It really isn’t comfortable and all that chest hair popping out of the shirt looks terrible in my opinion. Getting rid of underarm hair also eliminates a lot of odor and feels great!

I don’t understand why some women think it’s strange or chastize men that take pride in their appearance! It’s a real contradiction that most women want men to shave their beards but think that it’s odd if they do some body shaving. That is very illogical because of the fast growth rate of facial hair and in some religions is forbidden. Is there some kind of unwritten law that men shouldn’t care about their appearance and just be slobs?

I would think that most women would understand why it’s uncomfortable to covered in a lot of hair. It just feels so much better to be smooth when taking a shower, exercising or walking around in the summer heat.

Regards,

smoothlover

#13

I understand about the hair part because, as I said, my husband has to deal with that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as the magazines and movie stars try to make an unrealistic ideal for women, they are doing it to men now too. Some think they have to be metro-sexual to get the girl. I am traditional in the sense that I think it’s attractive for a man to be a little more hairy than a woman, not to the gorilla stage though. That’s just my own opinion. It’s fine for guys to do any of the stuff like totally hairless body, manicure/pedicure, plucked brows, etc. I’m just not into that sort of thing. I prefer a little more rugged look. I don’t want my husband to look as pretty as I do. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I just wanted thejoshuatree to know that not all girls feel the way that his girl does, so he would need to decide if it’s something he wants to continue doing. (If he’s doing it strictly for her.) Who knows, she may be like I was. I hated the hair but loved the man.

#14

Hi tattudemom,

Thanks for your comments! I would hope that a relationship or attraction isn’t based solely on the amount of hair that one has–there really are some more important things to be considered! You’re right that the media or fashion magazines are pushing the so-called “metrosexual” image to an extent which is not entirely realistic but I don’t think that most men feel they have to look like Chippendale models for women to find them attractive–LOL!!! IMHO, this recent trend might help encourage men to do things that they were otherwise embarassed or self-conscious about doing. Really, why should men feel “guilty” or embarassed because they take care of their appearance or want to get waxed or have a facial? If anything, men need to take better care of their faces due to all the abrasion and bleeding that frequent shaving casues (especially, if you have dry and allergic skin like myself)!

You mentioned that you prefer a more “rugged” look and some women on this forum have mentioned that they equate “hairiness to manliness”. The idea that a “hairy” man is more masculine is kinda illogical to me since men have been removing body hair for thousands of years! The ancient Romans and Greeks removed hair before they went into battle to make it easier to treat wounds and I suppose they also liked showing off their muscle tone too! The ancient Egyptians removed hair from all imaginable places upon reaching adulthood as a means of purification.

If we really wanted to be “natural” men wouldn’t shave their beards and women wouldn’t shave their legs or anything else. I don’t know where the idea that women have to be hairless came from! In a more perfect world, one could choose whether he or she wanted to be more or less hairy! Having said that, many women in Germany don’t shave their armpits (including my former Austrian girlfriend) and that was never a problem with me. I’ve also seen some women in Europe with a fair amount of leg hair and really think it should be up to the individual to decide if they shave or not. Personally, I like the smooth feel of skin for it’s comfort and being able to stay cool. I have very little chest hair naturally and no back hair–I think I look better without that small patch on my chest.

The media really creates some stupid “ideals” or norms which society should supposedly live up to and people are so worried about whether they fit in or not. I hope that people will think more independently and do what they want by not blindly following these so-called “societal norms” of how they should act or look!

Regards,

smoothlover

#15

Hi tattudemom

Your comment on metrosexual men was quite interesting. Apart from my preference for smooth legs I wouln’t say I am metrosexual at all. I can also understand what you mean when you say you prefer a more rugged look to a man. I think the male body has a natural rugged look no matter how much hair you remove. My girlfriend thinks my legs look great and we have a good understanding about this. I also don’t think one has to look or be “metrosexual” to get the girl, if I fully understand the term that is, but I do think leg hair removal looks pretty good for an athletic look.

Regards
Stuart

#16

Hi:

I think that the term metrosexual could be considered derogatory. No one declares themselves to be a metrosexual.

Besides that, what does someone taking care about their grooming have to do with incorporating “sexual” into the description, and sounding so much like the word “heterosexual”?

Also as far as appearance goes, some women like hair, and some don't. Some like hair, but may not like too much.

I would hope that whether someone becomes coupled with someone is based more on virtues, rather than just appearances.

Alicia

#17

Hi Aliciadarling

I think the metrosexual term stems out of the old sexual misconceptions that men must be hairy and women must be smooth. When men more recently began a higher level of grooming I think society was simply looking for a way to describe such men and hence “metrosexual” was born. This is what I think, but I may be wrong. I agree that apart from wanting to look good, sexuality really has little to do with the whole male shaving issue.

Regards
Stuart

#18

Hi:

Here is a link to an article describing the origin of the term metrosexual.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrosexual

I personally don’t believe in applying labels to people, especially labels based on someones appearance. Probably at one time, I might have been labeled as a metrosexual, but they would have been wrong. The saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover still applies.

Alicia

#19

Tattudemom,

I’d like to ask you a few questions, if you’re still reading this thread. How common is it to see men with smooth legs in Georgia or other parts of the South? Would this really “get your attention”–I mean, is it rather unusual and would it “draw attention” to that person? What attitudes to people have in your area towards men who have smooth chests and legs?

I would think that due to the heat and humidity of the South, that a lot of men would want to get rid of body hair in the summer. Any observations or comments on that?

Thanks!

smoothlover

#20

Hi Alicia and Stuart!

Alicia, thanks for the link about the origin of the word metrosexual. I agree that labels are dangerous and stupid! It does seem rather stupid to try to associate personal grooming with sexual orientation! I guess different magazines have different standards of what the metrosexual is supposed to look like but I’ve never tried to emulate any of the models in these magazines or someone like David Beckham–I really don’t any pay attention to them and don’t buy men’s fashion magazines. I also don’t think that a lot of men are trying to copy Beckham’s style or look like someone in GQ.

Having said that, I think it’s stupid for the media to say that men who take care of their appearance are vain or trying to imitate gay men. The media makes it sound like the so-called metrosexuals are spending hours shopping and obsessing about their appearance–I don’t think this is really true for most men who take care of themelves. Good grief, what’s wrong with men who take pride in their appearance and wish to join a fitness club or remove body hair?

Regards,

smoothlover