excess body hair, self-image and dating

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#61

I would love a tinted moisturizer, but I find they don’t match my skin tone and are not full enough coverage. Plus they all look really orange, which I hate. I think the powder is what causes the caked-on look in my opinion, the foundation looks pretty natural until I add the powder. Because the powder sits on top of all my microscopic facial hairs, it makes me look really dusty. I started spiro two days ago to reduce my sebum production (and hair, of course), so I hope that I will be able to skip the multiple powder layers in the future. Then I suspect I won’t even look like I’m wearing makeup (I’m a painter, so I am very meticulous about blending and texture when it comes to the liquid coverage).

That will be great, because I usually dress so casually. Do you know how ridiculous it looks to be wearing torn jeans, a sweatshirt, and 5 year old shoes, but then have your face done up like you’re going to a ball? Haha. It’s definitely not the look I am going for. :stuck_out_tongue:

I hope fraxel works too. I am worried it may induce hair growth. I know photofacials can, do you know if fraxel carries much of a risk?

PS- Sorry if I sounded defensive. I’m just insecure, and I always wonder what awful things other girls may be hiding under the makeup as well.

#62

I’ve tried about 10 different tinted moisturizers. They’re all very different! Right now, I have Boots and it’s ok. The coverage is a bit too thin for my taste. The one I liked the best was Aveeno, but they discontinued it. I’m on my last bottle that I bought on eBay and not sure what I will do after. I tried like 5 different ones at Sephora and none seemed that great. Various ones do have lots of shades, but interestingly enough, the one that I like best, Aveeno, only comes in 2 shades and the lighter one is perfect on me.

I also recently tried Aveda and it seems pretty good. I may explore that one after this bottle runs out.

Sorry, I don’t know anything about Fraxel’s side effects.

p.s. That’s interesting because that’s not what I think at all when I see someone with a lot of makeup on. I always think of ho much better they would look without it or with lighter makeup, even if there is stuff to hide. But to be honest, many people seem to have skin issues and I think it’s ok if some of it shows and you just have some light makeup on. For some reason, to me that’s still normal and natural, and somewhat better than a thick layer of foundation and powder on top of it. But I do know what you mean about the powder!

#63

I fell from bed early today, so I dropped by to say I didn’t understand a thing from the last few posts. :stuck_out_tongue:

Bonus video! This is us getting our asses kicked in the rain:

(We’re the ones wearing red and blue jerseys and white shorts)

#64

I’ve been thinking about trying out Aveeno moisturiser. The one we get in Australia is a 15spf one, but doesn’t have the tint.
However, I found a couple of sites that didn’t have very good reviews for the products; http://www.acne.org/aveeno-radiant-skin-daily-moisturizer-with-spf-15-reviews/121/page1.html , http://www.makeupalley.com/product/showreview.asp/ItemId=10094/Positively_Radiant_Daily_Moisturizer_spf15/Aveeno/Moisturizers , just in case you wanted to check them out.

The tinted moisturiser I have at the moment is terrible, it’s 10.0.6. It has a weird smell and leaves my skin feeling tacky. Also, the colouring means that instead of looking barely there on me, I look like I’m wearing a mask. So I’ve just been using my normal moisturiser and not bothering with any makeup.

Having to wear makeup to hide stuff scares me, and it’s the reason I haven’t started electrolysis on my face yet :slight_smile: if I do find a great electroligist in Adelaide then I definitely will. Til then, it’s worrying about hyper pigmentation from laser.

Oh and nice video :slight_smile: is that rugby?

#65

The tinted Aveeno moisturizer has been discontinued. I bought my last two on eBay. It only comes in two shades, so I wouldn’t try it without being able to test and return first.

Boots is not bad. Aveda is decent too.

Laser doesn’t cause any pigmentation issues if the settings are correct.

#66

You’re lucky you’re a guy. Society is much more cruel to females with this problem than males. I’ve known some pretty hairy women who had to shave and wax and bleach every inch of themselves daily just to get the confidence to go to school each day or wear shorts at PE time. I didn’t have it that easy either since I have super white skin and black hair.

#67

Are you here for the hair forum or to promote your auto parts site? The latter isn’t allowed btw.

#68

I find it funny that proximityinfo just copied and pasted someone else’s post.

So, a new question: do you guys ever think of your past problems with hair? (after you’re done with the treatments, obviously)

I just got back from my third appointment, so I’m enjoying that hair free period. One of my recurring thoughts throughout the day is that I’m hiding from people that I used to be way too hairy for society’s standards. I know, I have deep-seated problems that runs deeper than just body hair, but I somehow think I may not be the only one feeling like this.

So, later everyone!

#69

Hey, look, I’m so famous that strangers are reciting my quotes! I’m like the next Mark Twain or Confucius!

Yes, you are not alone. I always ask myself how revealing I’ll be with people once I’m hair free. Will I tell them I’m “hairy” at heart, or will I let them think I’m naturally smooth? Will I live the rest of my life in denial about it? Will all my future lovers be privy to the info that my naughty bits have been lasered?

I dunno. I think I’ll be pretty open about it, I don’t want to insult my former self, if that makes sense. She had to deal with enough shame without me retroactively snubbing her too.

#70

Hmm…well, it depends. I don’t think about my underarms at all. I never decide what to wear based on how my underarms look because there is absolutely zero hair there. That’s a nice feeling. I also never worry about having to go to the pool or the beach on last minute’s notice. My bikini and stomach are always ready. No need for waxing or bleaching. I also haven’t even looked at my upper lip in months. So I guess I’m confident there is nothing there to notice.

I still shave my legs since I only had 3 treatments, but I really barely pay attention to them. I probably do it about once every 1.5-2 weeks and really only because it’s summer now and I’m wearing shorts and dresses. And this isn’t because there is no hair there. It’s just fine and sparse and the fact that I don’t have hair in other places makes me completely ignore it. I think I kind of came to the conclusion that I don’t really care that much if my legs have a bit of hair. I think it partly has to do with the fact that I now think that men don’t really care. :slight_smile:

I remember I used to be consumed with hair issues. Every time I went to bed or got up in the morning, I was deciding what to wear based on how “prepared” by body hair was for the exposure.

#71

@Kitty
Yeah, that makes sense. I have this nagging feeling that, deep down, it’s who I am. It’s my goddang middle eastern heritage at work. I just hope women won’t be too bothered by the hair that’s left when I’m done, I’m already a pretty defensive without any external influence.

I’m considering leaving my abdomen alone, even though I am by far the hairiest I know in that department. I’m a bit afraid it might look weird to have a hairless abdomen and a very hairy chest.

#72

You can kind of taper the hair as it goes down, so the transition looks natural. It’s easy to do this with electrolysis (by only removing every few hairs) but you can also kind of do it with laser since the laser won’t remove 100% of the hair anyway.

Orrr you can leave it hairy. As a small test to make sure anybody you date isn’t too superficial! :smiley: Haha

#73

I think I’ll have to live with the hairy stomach. Maybe take some of the hair off of the edges so it isn’t as sparse. I’m too scared that it’ll leave random hairy spots which (will look even odder than a full torso of hair) to take it all off, technicians here do not seem skillful enough. And it’s a boat load of hair, so even tapering it sounds like a herculean task.

Yeah, I may be unlucky, but every girl I’ve been with complained about it. And I wish I was overreacting! Maybe every woman this side of the equator is just a tad more superficial or something! :stuck_out_tongue:

#74

I am a relatively hairy guy on my chest and stomach, and my girlfriend doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, she says she likes guys with hair, but not too much. I use hair removal cream to thin out the hair on my chest and stomach and as I hardly have hair on my back there is no need to do it. I know many of my friends are hairy all over, but they seem to just get on with it and date girls regularly, but they also use hair removal cream to help thin out their hair as well.

#75

SO true. You are so correct. This is by far the best and accurate comment on here.

That and suck it up and start treatments. All else is frivolous.

#76

How do they use Nair to thin their body hair out? It’s like using clippers, only more convoluted and smelly?

Which comment?

#77

Brazil does top the list of number of plastic surgery procedures, so the superficial part wouldn’t surprise me :slight_smile:

If you do get a chance to travel and find a good clinic with a good laser, I think you can be very happy with just 2-3 laser treatments on your chest and stomach.

#78

I’ve had 4 treatments on my back and shoulders, and so far the results look pretty good. I don’t know if a lot of hair will come back over time, but at least now I have a reasonable amount of hair back there. Like an ordinarily hairy guy, I guess.

It’s a pity it will take so long for me to leave the country. I was lined up for a scholarship in the US when I decided to call off my doctorate to study biology. (best decision of my life) We’re talking a few years down the line here.

#79

my 2 cents.

i like a hairy guy, also a bigger, hairy guy,like a big cuddly bear! i actually dislike a smooth/sparse chest, its so boyish! maybe this comes in part psychologically from the fact that i wanna feel feminine, so dont like being with guys that are less hairy than me! so i like a big masculine man, rarrr! but thats only a part of my preference. most of all, i like confidence, not that i have much of that myself.

i am now with a guy for 5 years, he has helped me shed my insecurity, telling me its normal, when you see many people across different ethnicities. he really doesnt care, i cared about it infinitely more than him. but i do know of shallow young guys back in the uk who thought i was a freak, mainly due to ignorance, lack of experience, and thinking that every woman naturally looks like a caucasian airbrushed size 6(uk) model in fhm. a lot of my insecurities ive carried over the years are from the comments of such boys (between the ages of 10 and 18, and the odd ignorant man). slowly i am letting it all go. i am older and wiser now!

mind you, i have to say, if i were to split with my boyfriend (god forbid) and had to go through dating all over again, the anxieties would come back no doubt. the only way of preventing it would be to go ahead with thousands of pounds worth of laser on my body, which is feasible, but that will take a few years to obtain.

at the end of the day, if a guy were to react in a hurtful way to my body hair, he is not the type of person i would want to be with, let alone know.

just do what you have to do, as soon as possible so you dont waste any more time feeling crap about yourself.

off-trail: as for too much makeup, kitty i understand what you mean its either woah too much makeup! or god what a freak! most of that is self-perception though, something else my boyf has helped me overcome- leaving the house without makeup on. just cos you go around analyzing girls faces and skin, it doesnt mean the rest of society do!! :slight_smile:

i still get pretty bad acne, rarely a clear day, i find drugstore brand mousse foundation in a pot works well for me and my fuzzy face, the maybelline one is too cakey and powdery. i cant use face powder anymore, i look like the cookie monster, highlighting all my fuzz. liquid foundation doesnt cover my skin and looks aging. mineral makeup is also good, unless you are allergic to it of course! i also tried some camo makeup after my electrolysis sessions so i dont have to wear a balaclava to cover my red lip, from lycogel http://www.lycogel.com/ it covers everything, and my insurance covers it.

#80

I am going to be brutally honest, and I don’t mean to be hurtful, so I hope it doesn’t come across that way!

I suppose to some extent, it depends the kind of girl you are looking for…a girl that takes exceptional care of herself IS probably going to care…a girl that wants to be accepted for her (good, bad or indifferent) probably won’t care…not all, but MOST girls that want to be accepted “as is” tend not to be in the top 75% when it comes to looks…(sorry that sounds offensive, but it really is honest)

Excessive hair IS a turnoff…I know that sounds somewhat hypocritical coming from someone who is dealing with hair issues herself; however, here is the deal…(this is not just my opinion, but the opinion of ALL my girlfriends as well…we range from late 20’s to late 40’s)…

Hair happens…it sucks…you can’t help how you were born, but you can help how you deal with it. As a female, I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars getting laser, waxing and now electrolysis (I am not rich, this is the money that I would spend going out for dinners, going on vacations, going out for a drink after work or a coffee in the morning…it is a choice)…this is something I have dealt with privately for years and it is always very stressful when I am in a relationship trying to cover up the “growing in stages” before I can go back for treatment (usually waxing) - I suppose the saying has been amongst the girls “If I can wax my ‘goodies’, he can wax his back”…the chest, abdomen, legs, arms, etc doesn’t matter - yes, men are supposed to have hair there and the degree to which women like varies…I personally don’t have a preference on that front, and truth be told, most girls don’t gauge the degree to which you have hair there - either you have it, or you don’t…no biggie…the back is another story…we are turned off to hear a guys say “it hurts”, “it is a pain in the ass”, “it’s too expensive”, “oh well”, etc…from someone who spends every couple of weeks with my legs up in the air, or on all fours, while someone digs around in the most personal of personal areas with a wax stick- you can deal with having it done on your back!

That said, HOW you deal with it is a personal choice based on comfort, finances, etc…

Again, my apologies if I offended anyone, or hurt feelings…I didn’t mean to, but I also wanted to give a very realistic opinion…we all come here for support, but TRUE support is being honest and helping people find solutions, not telling people they are “perfect” the way they are.