Can't Take It

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I’m 15 years old. I will be turning 16 this summer. All my life I’ve been hairy, so I’ve pretty much ruled out that I could have polycystic ovarian syndrome, or anything else. I’m pretty much just hairy, just because. All my life, I’ve felt ugly and horrible, from a very young age, I have had horrible self esteem and and no confidence whatsoever. It has caused me to not want to go out in public, and to not want to be around people. I still remember being teased. Everyday when I was in 4th grade, these two kids would tease me telling me I was hairy. I hated it. I wanted to cry everytime it happened, and I would cry, all the time.

I’m super duper hairy, and being a girl, it’s not easy at all. Especially when you see other girls everyday who are pretty much hair free. I hate it.

I have hair on pretty much every part of my body. On my back, abdomen, chest, chin, shoulders, arms, legs, knuckles, toes, face, neck, underarms, hips, bikini area, and even my butt. I pretty much have faint hairs on my forehead and nose, but still rather noticeable. My sideburns are especially horrible and the hair on my neck is horrible. I wish it weren’t like this. I didn’t want this, and don’t understand why I’m like this. It’s super disgusting. And I feel like I can never be myself. I have no friends because I choose not to be social because of this problem. I think many people might judge me too. I am missing out on the whole highschool experience because of this. All I want is to be normal. I just want to be able to live. I don’t want to miss out on life. Because of it I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I will neevr get married or have kids, or even date. I’m too disgusting.

I don’t know what to do. I thought about laser, but I’m afraid it won’t work.
Plus, I have acne on my back, face, neck, and chest. Can laser be done on areas with acne? I have a few pimples, scars from pimples, over those areas. But mostly I have blackheads and white heads, not your typical white head though. It’s not a pimple with a head that you are ready to pop. It’s like inside my skin and you can see white dots, and they don’t pop, if you try they just get irritated. And they are like white balls beneath the skins surface. How will I be able to get laser with that in my skin?

Someone please help me, I can’t take this anymore. I don’t think I can live like this for any longer.

I want to be over with this by the time I get to college, so I can be a new ‘me’.

What can I do?

#2

You might feel that you are alone but you are not. Unwanted hair is so common that the shelves in drug stores are filled with hair removal products and you know, the busiest areas in most salons is the waxing room. Most of us just hide it well or seek help. Is there an adult you can speak with? A parent? Guidence Counselor? Physician? See a physician and get some blood tests.

You can take it – if you take action!

#3

As you probably read on this forum, there are many many people struggling with the same issues. You are not alone. Have you talked to anyone about this? Your parents? Do you have a therapist? The first thing you have to battle is accepting yourself. There are many people out there with various imperfections, and not only the cosmetic ones. The first step is always accepting yourself as is and some therapy can help with this. I would urge you to look into it. You are still very young and you can change the quality of your life.

In terms of PCOS or other hormonal disorders, you cannot rule them out like this. Considering how young you are and that hormones are in full effect for you right now, and the fact that you have acne as well, there is a good chance you might have an underlying condition. However, only a professional specializing in these conditions can probably diagnose it correctly. I would urge you to see an endocrinologist. There was someone recently on the forum who struggled for a long time and got all normal results from all her regular doctors, but finally went to a good endocrinologist who determined that she had a condition for which she is taking birth control now which has a positive effect. You never know and you should definitely explore that option considering your situation.

For areas with dark coarse hair and light skin, you can consider laser. For finer hair and hair on your face, you can consider electrolysis. Both are effective if done properly, which pretty much involves doing your research and finding the right experienced person to do it. You can use the help of these forums to help you figure it out. Read the FAQs on electrolysis and laser to get started.

Good luck and I hope you do choose to see a therapist as well as an endocrinologist and start figuring out a way to get out of this depression you’re in.

#4

Hi ineedalife.

First off, I would ask:

Have you talked to your Mother about this? Do you have her support for investing in electrolysis or laser or even temporary measures? What are you doing to treat your acne?

A sixteen year old needs a parent or some other caring adult to help with the process of finding a solution, whether it be temporary for the immediate now and then a permanent solution for later.

Love,

Dee

#5

I have talken to my mom about it…she seems to get annoyed by it…sometimes i feel like she doesn’t support me because she has no idea what it’s like to be hairy. yesterday i went to tell my parents that i would like to see an endocrinologist and get laser. they were watching tv and they seemed to not care and just continued watching tv…

they just think that i should not get laser and deal with what i have been given…

easy for them to say…

i still plan on telling them again today…

i can’t let this ruin my life…

do you guys agree with laser on the face (does it work), because i don’t have time for electrolysis.

love,
deb.

#6

laser is ok on the face if you’re really light and hair is dark and coarse. do you have pictures? electrolysis is a committment with more frequent treatments, but so is laser. you will need about 8 treatments with laser spaced 8-12 weeks apart too. there are risks to having laser on your face like increased growth. all things that you should consider. start doing your research, but you should see an endocrinologist first as if there is something in your body making the hair grow, you can kill the hair that’s there now, but your body will develop new hair. you need to figure out if there is a deeper problem.

#7

Here’s Pictures…grosss, I knowww.
Stomach

Back


Leg

Arm

I’m desperatee.

#8

are you middle-eastern? your skin is on the dark side, unless it’s the camera. I think you definitely need to go get checked for hormonal problems. a good birth control pill can already help with some of this. i wouldn’t do laser on your face. your skin is too dark, so there are too many risks, especially if someone doesn’t know what they’re doing. electrolysis is best for face. for the rest of your body, you will probably need a Yag laser since your skin is on the dark side. GentleYAG is one of the best. where are you located? you can go to Candela website and use their provider search to find GentleYAG places near you to check out. read the FAQs here first though and learn all you can before you start having consultations. and FIRST, see an endocrinologist and talk to your parents seriously about it. Try to sit them down etc. Someone will have to pay for these treatments, they’re not covered by insurance.

www.hairremovalforum.com/faq.cfm

#9

You need your parents help. Try talking with them calmly after YOU educate and familiarize yourself with some options. They are thinking about your concerns I’m sure, especially your Mother, and they are probably discussing you in private. Many times parents act like they don’t care because they don’t want to add more attention to a problem that they need to sort out for themselves. Kind of like when you fell down as a little girl and cut your knee. They probably acted all calm and reassured you that all that blood didn’t mean anything, when actually they wanted to cry and panic right along with you. So be not too hard on them, but rather show them that you are concerned and this means a lot to you right now to start some kind of plan. Tell them you need their help and present them with some ideas. Impress them that you did all your “homework” about hair removal options. Impress them with your lawyer-like approach. Be methodical and reasonable. You have to sell yourself and your ideas because YOU need their help.

You can’t do all areas at once. We are ALL impatient and imperfect and want a quick fix for our problems, but we need to cope with what we have. Since everybody see’s your face, that could be the focus of your talks with your parents. I would not do laser on your face, personally speaking. Temporary measures, such as bleaching would be helpful right away. You can clip the hairs with tiny cuticle scissors as well. A skilled electrologist is your ticket to the final destination, but until then, temporary measures will give you relief for your face. Laser would be a choice for your lower legs and forarms. Your skin looks a little dark,so you have to choose wisely,just as you would for an electrologist.
Again, why not have your Mom help you bleach your arms? Other areas could be bleached as well. Can you shave your legs? Or do you already shave?

Most people with unwanted hair like you (and thanks for the pictures, they were not gross) have an inherited tendency rather than a disease process, but a visit to a physician of your parents choice is certainly good advice, if the physician understands hirsutism (look that up).

Any one that comes to these boards can relate to how you are feeling. The only way out and up, is to formulate a plan for temporary relief and eventually, permanent relief, or a mixture of both for now. Since, I assume, they are already paying for your underarm hair removal, they may be ammenable to going further.

#10

i need help finding an endocrinologist.

thanks for all the support

#11

Hi: thanks for posting and I understand it can be difficult to live with hair. I’ll give you a quick guy’s perspective, which is that while there will always be mean people making rude comments, many won’t care about it at all. Really. Personally I’ve known girls with much more hair than you have, and some of them found a way to be in peace with themselves. I don’t mind their hair, and their friends did not mind either. Hair can be a sign of beauty in many cases. But the bottom line is that who they are as a person, is what matters.

If it helps, you can start by shaving the areas that cause the most discomfort to you and perhaps look at other methods if you need to remove more of it or permanently… you are in the right forum for this.

Good luck!

#12

you need to call your insurance company and ask them to provide you with a list of endocrinologists in your area that accept it.

#13

what do you suggest i do for the hair on my stomach, back, and upper arms? laser or electrolysis?

i know laser is about 5-7 times for the average person…how much is electrolyis?

how much area can i do in one session? can i do lots of different areas in one day? (like part back, part stomach, part face)

if i do a certain part like A part of my back, can i go back the next day and do another section?

#14

I’m not the laser expert here, but I’m catching on to a few principles that are repeated from others that are, and it appears from your pictures that your hair may not be coarse enough for laser. Maybe lagirl, sslhr and others can help out with their evaluations. Actually, going to a few clinics that use quality laser and technicians would add to your knowledge base.

Electrolysis would take many, many sessions for all these areas. We always advise people to FOCUS and COMMIT to one area and move on to the next as things get sparser or as you get the full first clearance and you are in the maintenance phase.

If I were you, I would focus on your facial hair first, if you are comfortable with an electrologist of your choice. Then I would go to the next area that is seen the most by people, your arms. Maybe a nice thinning at first to relieve you of the coarser hairs. Leaving the finer hairs behind and bleaching them if necessary, would help you navigate to another area faster, like the abdomen around the navel. You could start a thinning process there as well, going in a circle around the belly button to eliminate only the coarser hairs first.

There is a lot of hair in several areas. Electrolysis would take several sessions. If you find someone that does microflash thermolysis, this will speed things up. Someone that does flash,just as good. Focus in one area is my advise and do temporary measures in others until you can get there. If you do not want ot focus in one area, an electrologsit can just thin the hair in several areas and that will help brighten things up, as well.

For large areas, like your back, yes, you can go everyday if you want. Body work may bring you scabbing afterwards, facial work should not. So don’t panic if you see small scabs on your body for a week or so, but do raise your eyebrows and question things if you see scabs on your face. If you do end up with a few small scabs on your face, that would be okay from time to time, just don’t pick them. Tell your electrologsit. Some people will scab in those beginning sessions (small scabs). IT IS NOT THE SAME AS SCARRING. Always do good aftercare on any treated area and communicate with your electrologist, since she can see you.

The laser experts can give you more information about laser and what might work for you. It would be great if you could lase your body areas and have it work well for you, but I would do electrolysis on your face, for sure.

Love,

Dee

#15

your legs and that spot of dark hair on your back is probably coarse enough for laser. since you’re somewhat dark, a Yag laser would probably be best. arms is hard to say. some is coarser and some is not. you could try laser there. your stomach seems too fine for laser.

you will need at least 6-8 treatments spaced about 8-12 weeks apart for laser. you can get as many areas as you need done in one sitting. electrolysis will require you to come in as often as possible in the beginning to clear the area, and then come in only when new hairs pop up to kill them while they’re weak.

#16

quick question…im not sure if there was a post on this previously…but i can’t seem to find it, if there is one…

good questions/observations to make/ask while at the elctrologist or laser place??

#17

Go to www.hairfacts.com or www.electrology.com for electrolysis questions. “How To Choose A Practitioner” can be found after you click on electrolysis.

Go to the stickies at the beginning of the laser forum for information about.

Also, read this, authored by lagirl on another great forum:

http://www.cosmeticenhancementsforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4103

That should do it.

#18

Would a Yaglaser work on African American skin?

My hair problems are similar to ineedalife421. My stomach has slightly more hair but my back has slightly less than in the pictures. My leg hair is probably about the same but my arm hair is very fine and hardly noticable.

#19

Yag laser is the only one that can be used on African American skin. However, Yag lasers do not work well on finer hair. You can use it anywhere you have coarse hair, though I advise to find someone who has experience with your skin type. For other areas, you need electrolysis.

#20

As Dee said - work thru things. But please have some patience, these people are not miracle workers. Keep your lines of communication open too - if something isnt right - tell them there and then. Problems can occur but if they are acted upon immediately - there will be a good chance that you will not have any problems.

By the way - for your acne - look for someone who uses the Smoothbeam Laser.

Keep us posted!