Thank you.

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Hello, everyone. This is my first post in the forum. I found it yesterday and spent hours and hours reading and crying.

I have struggled with heavy facial hair since I have been 15 years old. I have sideburns, as well as hair on my chin and neck. The absolute worst is the sideburns. I’ve tried everything (except waxing, as I don’t have the courage to let it grow out long enough for that) and nothing ever worked. I have been shaving every day in the shower for as long as I can remember. The last straw was yesterday when I tried to use an epilator for the first time on my sideburns (I know now to never do that again) and it didn’t work. I threw it across the room and I cried and cried. I ended up sitting there for an hour, plucking every hair out, crying the whole while.

It’s so humiliating. I don’t even want to put my long (almost waist-length) hair up into a ponytail at the gym anymore. I go through more makeup than I can say because I have to reapply so many times throughout the day so the shadow doesn’t show through.

The worst experience of my life was when I went to a wedding with my best friend, and she called an ex of mine (who I was still friendly with) to see if he’d like to get together with us after we left the wedding. I didn’t hear the conversation, but I heard her tell him that I looked hot, because I had recently lost 60 pounds. He said something nasty, and she hung up. The next day we were in her apartment and she called him to see why he was so rude, and he made some silly excuse, and then she made a joke about me looking hot. I heard him through the phone, he laughed loudly and said, “What, did she finally learn to wax her nasty face?” It hurt me so bad that someone who used to tell me he loved me, and how beautiful I was, could say something so cruel and hurtful.

Anyway, I found this board yesterday and read for a long time. I was so shocked to see all these wonderful posts by all you beautiful women (and men) going through the same things as me. I especially was moved by the posts where you all said you told your husbands and significant others about your problem, and they were all understanding and supportive. My fiance came home from work last night and it was all I could to to hold back my tears, thinking about everything I read. I went into the bathroom and I lost it. I came out and sat down with him and he was shocked to see me crying, and I said “I have to tell you. I have to talk to you about this.” And I spilled my soul to him. I told him about what happened with my ex, and how this hair consumes me, and I told him about the epilator. I cried for two hours to him, and he held me and he told me that it never once bothered him, that he thinks I am beautiful no matter what.

I asked him if he would mind if I went to see an electrologist, and I explained that it might be expensive and I didn’t want to spend our money (we’re getting married in July so money is tight right now) on that if he didn’t want me to. He said of course, if it bothers me that much to do it. So I am going to gather up my courage and go to see an electrologist.

I will post soon in the referral forum to get a referral to someone locally. I am sorry this post is SO long, I just had to get all this out.

Thank you everyone. Thank you Andrea and thank you James and thank you to all of you beautiful people who helped me realize that I am not alone, and I should not be ashamed.

I hope to talk to you all more.

Thanks again,
skr2srs

#2

What a great letter! Thanks so much for contributing, and I am glad the site is helping you break the cycle of shame and find practical solutions that will make you feel better!

I can tell you that for every reader who writes a note like this, there are many more who don’t write but feel the same way. There is help and hope out there!

I am really glad you took the time to write-- I do all this for people just like you!

#3

WOW! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I thought I had it the worst for having a hairy butt (I have no facial), but ladies with facial hair take the cake, because while I just have to cover my hairy butt with pants, you ladies have to shave, puck, etc. everyday! I praise women like you! You ladies have guts and tremendous strength for having to deal with it!

Congratulations on having such a wonderful man who understands and loves you so much! I’m glad you’ve decided to get electrolysis. Even though you maybe hesitant on using your wedding money, but believe me you will see using that money will be worth it, because by July most of your face should be cleared up!

By the way, you mentioned you used to be over weight, so I’m wondering if you might have the hormonal problem PCOS. Have you ever been tested for hormonal imbalances?

#4

Dear skr2srs,

Dealing with the psychological impact, the deep distress that comes from unwanted hair, is a big aspect of our lives. There are other aspects that need to be addressed and hence, I urge you to meet with a reproductive endocrinologist as soon as possible.

Thank you.

#5

Years go, my GYN had me go and get my blood tested because of the facial hair, and I never heard back from the doc one way or another, so I assumed everything was okay.

My mother has the same exact hair as I do, so I am really led to believe that I was just blessed with the genes.

I’ve spoken to my current GYN about it as well, and he does not seem concerned about it. The ONLY symptom I have is the hair, and since my mother has it too, I never really worried about it, other than the psychological impact.

To be completely honest with you, I know for sure that my overweightness had nothing to do with a hormone problem. I was a slob, and I blame absolutely nothing for that but my own bad eating habits and laziness. For many many years I ate absolutely terribly, I worked at fast food for much of my high school years and when I was on breaks at college. I ate badly while I was at college, always choosing fatty dishes or pasta instead of healthy salads. I NEVER exercised - EVER. Once I decided to change my life and get healthy, I dropped over 70 pounds and I am now almost at a healthy weight for my height. I am borderline athletic now, I go to the gym 4 times a week and I am toned and defined. I’m only struggling with the last 10 - 15 pounds that EVERYONE struggles with. So no - the fact that I used to be overweight is not a sign of PCOS, in my opinion. It’s a sign that I was a lazy slob with terrible eating habits! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> If I had tried and tried to lose weight and absolutely couldn’t, yes I would be very concerned.

I am planning on seeing a dermatologist as well as my GYN one more time before the wedding, I will mention the hair to both of them and see if either of them are concerned. I really don’t think that I have a hormonal imbalance. I did look into PCOS and saw all the symptoms, and this is really the only one I have. My periods have always been regular, no acne, and I have a head of thick long hair. The only thing I’m not sure about is infertility, as I have been on birth control since I’ve been sexually active. If I had any other symptom OR if my mom was smooth-faced, I would agree there might be a further problem. I just don’t think there is!

Thanks for your concern.

#6

Hi skr2srs

You are doing well and need not be ashamed at all. Your hair is like a condition I have which I have never mentioned here before. I suffer from chronic Grand Mal (Tonic Colonic) Epileptic seizures. This affects me once every 10 months to 3 months. Like you I am normal and according to my neurologist highly intelligent and perceptive. It is very embarrassing to suffer a major epileptic seizure in public and wake up in an ambulance not knowing what happened.

You seem to have a good man to look after your needs and some excess hair is really nothing, believe me things are worst sometimes. Despite my problems I still shave my legs, cycle and remain active. You can deal with some hair quite easily I think - I know it’s easier than an MRI tunnel! You just need to deal with your hair issue logically like I deal with my problem as well. I even drive a high powered sports car, so a little excess hair will not stop you! Just take heart and you will win!

Regards
Stuart

#7

hey skr,

thanks for that post. it brought me so much memories. you are soooooooooooo not alone in this. i to have/had thick black hair on my side burns and chin. but i had always plucked so they didnt really show. but when i had to let them grow out so that i could do electrolysis, i felt horrible. there was a time were i went overseas for two months where no electrolyss was and ended up shaving which i have never done in my life. i would go one day without it and my cousins once looked at me and laughed out “hey rachel is growing a beard like a man!” right infront of my other cousins and this guy that had a crush on me! i was mortified. it was summer and we spent a lot of the time outside and so i would try not to raise my head so no one could get a good view of my chin as i looked up at the sky or something.

that even pushed me more to be determined to get rid of this problem. and thats why i am here and more than a year later i am still doing electrolysis and happy with the results. i have moved on to more places and my face doesnt even bother me anymore.

good luck and dont give up!

#8

Goodness skr2srs! It’s time to buck up and do something about those unwanted hairs. I think the relief you will feel by doing something about it is priceless.