Thank God I found this site!

Hair Removal Methods Shaving/Trimming
#1

Hi, everyone…

I stumbled upon this site accidently while looking into hair removal creams.

For many years I’ve had unwanted facial hair. No one else in my family seems to have this problem and I rarely discussed it with my mother. The only thing she ever said to me was when I had enough money saved, I should get electrolysis…and that was many years ago.

I am too embarrassed. :frowning: …and like many others, I am petrified of having to go into a hospital and having my facial hair grow out. I think that alone would kill me, nevermind what I might be in there for.

I’ve been shaving for as long as I can remember…probably since it started in my late teens (I think). I’m 38 now. I’ve never had a boyfriend and am so self-conscious…thinking that no guy would want a woman who’d need to use his razor! I feel like a freak of nature. :frowning:

Then I found this site (just today) and realized that there are so many other people like me who are struggling with this problem. And while I take some comfort in that, I also know that everyone is on their own personal journey where this is concerned. I’m still gonna freak about going into a hospital…and I’m still gonna feel that no man would find me attractive. I can’t help that.

I just wanted to say thank you, Andrea (I believe this is your site?)…for creating a place where we all (woman AND men) could come to deal with this problem. Bless you.

Hugs,
Jo

#2

Welcome Jo,

You have found the right site to share your problem with… The emotional support forum is a great one as well… reading posts there, you will come to realise you are not the only one… I know that still doesn’t make it easier for you, personally, but it can help.

You will find that electrolysis is the permanent method that would be recommend most often, esp. for facial hair. I hope you come to see that a professional electrolysis operator would be sympathetic to your problem and would probably have treated others just like yourself.

If you want to be free from facial hair, then look around here, read other people posts, and hopefully you will be inclined to move into a treatment phase. From my (short) time here, I have learnt that there are a few very good electrolysis operators/establishments in NY state… depends on where you are, but help is not far away…

Please remember, your worth as a person is not rated by your appearance. I know that sounds like pop-psycho advice, but it is true.

Good luck,

David

[ February 09, 2003, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: IHH ]

#3

Welcome, Jo, and sorry about the slow response! Always remember there are millions of us who don’t fit the media’s arbitrary standard for amount of hair.

As far as the hospital scenario some of us have concerns about, it’s pretty unlikely. I know that doesn’t necessarily make the fear go away, but I can assure you it’s more of an irrational one than a real one.

One thing that always makes me sad is how many of us let our concerns about hair interfere with our social stuff. Believe it or not, there are people who feel they are freaks because they don’t have enough hair, and it’s just as hard on their self-esteem. What you have to try to do is recognize that your body image issues are mainly in your head. If you can do that even when it’s bothering you, there’s a good chance you can get a handle on the situation and take steps to improve it.

Finally, people who are concerned about unwanted hair are luckier than many others who have a “flaw” they think is an issue. Our unwanted hair can be treated and managed in a number of ways. I’m sure there’s one that’s right for you. I know many people whose lives were changed by getting their hormones checked or using a new method of hair removal. You feel better about yourself, and you feel like you’re taking charge of the situation. That can lead to a huge boost in confidence.

You may want to speak with a doctor otr therapist about your anxiety. There are some options to deal with that, too. It’s actually connected to the concerns about hair, so you may find that working on that will have the added benefit of helping you with your concerns about unwanted hair.

Whatever option you choose, there is help and hope out there! Let us know if there is anything we can help with-- we’re all in this together! :smile:

#4

Hi, Andrea.

Thank you so much for your reply! :smile:

Actually…I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember…way before I developed my hair problem…but the unwanted hair certainly doesn’t help the disorder. One day I may actually get the courage to see an electrolysis…but I don’t know. It’s just nice to have found a place where I can go and “meet” other people with the same problem…so I don’t feel so alone. Thank you.

Hugs,
Jo

#5

I too have found this site today, 1stApril 2003, as its April Fools Day I was beginning to think someone was playing a cruel joke on me. I too have this problem of facial hair, and I dont know anyone else who has it,I really thought I was the only woman in the world! I want to cry with relief, and thank every one of you, male or female who has written on this site. I feel as if I have written it all! The horror at finding myself in hospital, going on holiday, flying and not being able to shave, shaving in the middle of the day, and wondering when I kiss anyone…do they indeed know and feel stubble? I cant believe my good fortune today. There is a GOD, she is a woman !

#6

Hi, Jemima…

Welcome! :smile: I’m so happy that you’ve found this place and that you now don’t feel so alone.

Hon’, you are by far not the only woman to suffer from this problem! You know…no matter how many times I’ve heard or read that other women suffer, too…it was little consolation to me because I never knew anyone personally who suffered…who had to wake up every morning to shave their face and neck…who had horror stories of hair removal cream reactions gone bad and who was so afraid of ever having to go into the hospital more because of noticeable facial hair then for what may have brought me there! And yes…like you…I dread getting up close and personal with a guy…not only because of anxiety, but because I dread the embarrassment and ridicule of having him see my “beard”.

Anyway…just wanted to say welcome and to re-enforce the fact that you are, indeed, not alone.

Hugs,
Jo

#7

I understand your fears totally and I can attest to the fact that guys don’t really look that close to your facial hair situation. I have managed to grow quite the goattee over the past few years and it’s all due to hormones.
I have had no trouble attracting men even though I tended to not let them near my chin.
If anybody, even my long term boyfriend tries to touch my face I tend to pull away or move his hand somewhere else.
This for me is manageable, it’s not stopping me from having a relationship in the first place.

I highly recommend getting some type of hair removal going for yourself, what about waxing in the meantime before you get up the nerve to get electrolysis…you can do it at home yourself. When the hairs grow in they don’t feel stubbly like when you shave and it lasts a lot longer than shaving. That’s what I was doing for a while but now I’m doing home electrolysis…go read about it on the DIY (do it yourself) forum, you might find you can solve part of your problem there yourself which will help you in the long run…

Let us know what you decide to do.

Kathy
:grin:

#8

</font><blockquote><font size=“1” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>quote:</font><hr /><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Originally posted by offbroadway:
<strong>I understand your fears totally and I can attest to the fact that guys don’t really look that close to your facial hair situation. I have managed to grow quite the goattee over the past few years and it’s all due to hormones.
I have had no trouble attracting men even though I tended to not let them near my chin.
If anybody, even my long term boyfriend tries to touch my face I tend to pull away or move his hand somewhere else.
This for me is manageable, it’s not stopping me from having a relationship in the first place.

I highly recommend getting some type of hair removal going for yourself, what about waxing in the meantime before you get up the nerve to get electrolysis…you can do it at home yourself. When the hairs grow in they don’t feel stubbly like when you shave and it lasts a lot longer than shaving. That’s what I was doing for a while but now I’m doing home electrolysis…go read about it on the DIY (do it yourself) forum, you might find you can solve part of your problem there yourself which will help you in the long run…

Let us know what you decide to do.

Kathy
:grin: </blockquote><font size=“2” face=“Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif”>Hi, Kathy…

I’m glad you have an understanding boyfriend. However, you still seem a bit uncomfortable with his touching your face. If it’s not too personal, I was wondering what his reaction is? (about your facial hair and about not wanting you to touch his face).

I’d try wax…number one…if it wasn’t so painful…and number two, if it worked. I’d have to put it on my neck and sides of my face…both very sensitive areas…and my experience with the strips proved disappointing…so the thought of hot wax alone…I don’t know. :roll_eyes:

I have very sensitive skin and I’ve yet to find something that truly works for me other than shaving, unfortunately. :frowning:

I don’t know if I’ll ever get passed feeling like a freak…but it’s nice to have a place to go to that understands how I feel.

Thanks for responding. :smile:

Hugs,
Jo

[ April 08, 2003, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Jo ]

#9

[quote]Hi, everyone…

I’ve never had a boyfriend and am so self-conscious…thinking that no guy would want a woman who’d need to use his razor!

Don’t let your fears get the better of you. It certainly didn’t stop me and I was shaving my moustache every day from the time I was fifteen. My husband assures me it certainly didn’t turn him off – in fact it rather turned him on! And the men who know I shave have all been rather nice about it.
You’re worrying needlessly about how most men will react, if my experience is anything to go by.