Sucking

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I just found this site a while ago and here is my first post.

I have PCOS and as a result I have a beard, a mustache, sideburns, a unibrow and huge amounts of hair all over the rest of my body. Hair on my chest, legs, stomach, you name it.

Typically I wax it all and then tweeze the rest, this is a daily chore for me.

I was taking aldactone but it didnt help at all so I stopped.

This is what life as a hairy girl is like… Talk about sucking…

A few weeks ago I went to a lady to get my face waxed, I was in a hurry that morning and woke up late, so I did my chin waxing in the car on the way there, since that and my neck I dont let anyone touch I am really sensitive about it.

I had redness and bumps all over it, and this new lady (I just moved to CA so had to find a new person) just looked horrified. She acted as though she has never seen anyone with hair, and started telling me how she needs to wax my chin right away, I told her I just did and she insisted there was more and just began touching me and making me feel uncomfortable. I told her that waxing wont work for any leftover hairs, they have to be tweezed.

She tried the wax, it didnt work so then she tweezed the hairs for me, the entire time telling me I have a bad hormone problem and need to see a doctor, then because of my position that I was laying in, she happened to look down my shirt and see a few hairs on my breasts (chest) and just grabbed them and told me she needs to get rid of those too.

Then I suppose to make me feel better she began playing Christan Aguleira’s Beautiful. Not that it helped one bit.

I left there crying and feeling like a total monster.

My mother, my family… always pointing out that I have excess hair, no matter how much I wax and tweeze and pluck, there is always something or some kind of stubble. It doesnt help that I have thick coarse black hairs and super sensitive pale skin. I am always bumpy and bruised along my face. Nothing helps. I am just a monster.

I dont let men touch my face or neck, I dont let them kiss me really. I push people away as a natural reflex since I dont want them to feel my stubble.

I am consumed with thoughts of my hair all day. I just touch my chin, see if I can feel something, if I can see stubble and there is always something. it grows overnight, its insane.

Today, why I found this forum in the first place… I was out at the mall, having a decent evening with my boyfriend when I was approached by 2 guys at the mall trying to sell me this weird head massager. One grabbed me while the other guy went to get this weird contraption. I kept saying no, but they were being obnoxiously pushy and put this thing on my head. Then the guy doing it told the other guy in a different language (which I happened to understand) she is losing her hair, but that doesnt matter she has a beard to make up for it.

I was horrified. Especially since I finished waxing right before I left the house. I knew I had bumps and a little bit of black stubble that is just too short to remove, but I put tons of coverup on it. I suppose it didnt help. I didnt tell my boyfriend what they said, I just pushed them aside and walked out of the mall and then cried all the way home.

It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

I cant afford laser even though I am told I would be an ideal candidate. I can barely afford the boxes of wax I go through each week and I was also told that due to the PCOS laser wont work as well.

At this point right now I dont want to leave the house anymore. I feel like a monster, a freak.

Doctors dont care, my insurance wont even cover the vaniqua, I am taking glucophage and following a low carb diet for the PCOS and to help my insulin levels. It has caused me to bleed on my own every month, which is amazing, but it has done nothing for my hair.

No one seems to understand. I wish laser could be covered by insurance, at least for those with extreme cases. They are all saying its cosmetic. My hormonal imbalance isnt cosmetic, why are the side effects viewed as cosmetic. Doesnt the damage that it does to me emotionally mean anything. Oh sure they’ll cover the drugs and therapy I’ll need after I go insane over this.

Some days I can live with it and others are worse, but in general if you have to live life as a bearded lady, life can really suck.

MJ

#2

Wow, those are a couple of very painful incidents, MJ. I’m glad you are here and willing to share how you are feeling. As you can see, you are not alone.

Though it is usually considered a “cosmetic” procedure, I believe hair removal can rise to the level of medical necessity. In fact, some women with PCOS have found doctors who make that case for them. An analogy I use is a port wine stain on a child’s face. Even though it is considered a cosmetic procedure, this laser removal is often considered medically necessary because it will help the child function in society. Though the birthmark is a natural human variation, our society views it as a defect, and we know from others who have had these that some people do not respond well to them. This leads to anxiety and depression in some who have them, and it can have a profound effect on their life trajectories.

The same is true with hair. There is an extremely wide variation in humans, from complete hairlessness (which is also very difficult for women), to what they used to call “excessive” hair (which is of course an arbitrary line that changes in each time and culture).

If you have been diagnosed with PCOS, it may be possible to find a doctor who “gets it” who can classify your facial hair as a medical condition. This can then lead to insurance coverage in some cases. I do not want to get your hopes up and say that this is definitely going to happen, or that it will be easy to find someone who can help, but it can happen. Your best bet for coming up with a good strategy for finding someone is to ask around on the PCOS forums for someone in your area who understands the nature of your situation and knows that hair removal can greatly improve the quality of your life.

As I mention in the PCOS forum, your best hope is a multi-pronged approach to controlling hair. Once you get your hormonal balances in a good range and have potential glucose issues looked at, you will probably be on Metformin, or an antiandrogen, or both. Waxing, especially on the face, is probably something to avoid for several of the reasons you mention. If you are able to find that sympathetic doctor, you may be able to get Vaniqa covered, which actually appears to work better for those of us with more hair, but still has a fairly high fail rate. It’s worth a shot if you can get it covered.

After that, laser or electrolysis can be prescribed by a good doctor willing to diagnose your hair at a level that requires medical intervention. You will have a much better result by taking all these steps.

To help give you some hope, I have selected some passages from a report at Polycystic Ovarian Sydrome Association’s site, pcosupport.org

http://www.pcosupport.org/living/lifestyles/electrology.php

Coverage by Health Maintenance Organizations (HMOs) generally does not reimburse for electrolysis treatments. However, in some insurance contracts specific clauses may allow electrology patients/clients to seek reimbursement. It is suggested that you check your contract prior to requesting a letter from your primary care physician. The physician’s letter must state that “electrolysis is medically necessary” as part of the overall treatment of the disorder that was diagnosed (e.g. PCOS, CPT code 256.4; or Androgen Excess, CPT code 256.1). You must then submit this letter to your insurance carrier.

A precedent has already been set indicating that depilatory treatments are “medical care” for insurance purposes (Abernathy v. The Prudential Insurance Company of America, No. 21178, Supreme Court of South Carolina, March 31, 1980). In this case Plaintiff brought suit against her insurer after it refused to reimburse her for the cost of depilatory treatments (i.e. electrolysis) which had been recommended by her physician. The policy included as “eligible expense” charges for “doctors’ services for surgical procedures and other medical care”, and contained a provision excluding “anything not ordered by a doctor or not necessary for medical care of illness”. The South Carolina State Supreme Court affirmed a verdict for the plaintiff, noting that there is no requirement that “medical care … be performed by or under the direction of licensed medical personnel”. Further, the court held, since plaintiff underwent treatments pursuant to her physician’s advice, such expenses were medically “necessary and were not excluded from coverage under the policy”.

Though you may have to do some doctor shopping, this has worked for many women. Here’s an example:

http://www.pcosupport.org/phorum/read.php?f=4&i=16473&t=16473

There is help and hope out there, and if there’s anything I can do to get you more information, please let me know!

Again, thank you for writing. I know several of our readers have struggled with the same thing. We’ll get this figured out with the best solution we can find! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

#3

I dont let men touch my face or neck, I dont let them kiss me really. I push people away as a natural reflex since I dont want them to feel my stubble.
I am consumed with thoughts of my hair all day. I just touch my chin, see if I can feel something, if I can see stubble and there is always something. it grows overnightMJ

You’ve had some horrible experiences. But don’t let them consume you or destroy you.

You don’t say whether you’ve discussed it wtih your boyfriend. He must obviously be aware of it and isn’t embarrassed to be seen with you. Don’t keep him away from you – my husband actually likes to feel the stubble on my chin in the morning.

Why not get a really good rechargeable electric razor and you can then keep your face completely stubble-free, even if it means shaving more than once in the day? The Norelco ones are about the quietest.

For what it’s worth, I’ve found that the men who know I shave are really very nice about it.

#4

Please read my previous posts. You can be 100% hairless and if it is as bad as you say our office will help you to afford permanent hair removal. Your happiness in our only objective. That is how we made a living for 46 years.

click to ElectrolysisInformation.com Read it carefully!

#5

You should also check out this post string:
http://www.hairtell.com/ubbthreads/showf…0&fpart=all

Regarding the Vaniqua not doing anything for your hair:

Barbara Kieffer of Topeka Kansas writes:

Some individuals have an enzyme in their skin that is like a magnet to their normal circulating hormones. These individuals will grow hair in these areas. The areas seem to follow the pattern of the Ferriman and Gallwey hirsutism rating scale. The individuals with this enzyme will have coarsening of hair with the irritation of waxing. Individuals without this enzyme will see less hair with waxing. The people with this enzyme are the people who will see a product like Vaniqa work - IF they use it consistently, however, they can spend the same money on electrology treatments and REALLY get rid of the hair.

It would also seem that other people with excess hair growth have it for other reasons - not necessarily related to the enzyme. So again, we are faced with mysterious reasons for hair growth.