Starting Relationships?

Hair Removal Methods Professional Electrolysis
1

Hello

Haven’t been around in a while. I have been having regular electrolis appointments for about 3+ years now. I am treating my entire upper body. I have made significant progress, but have finally realized that I will never be hairless.

I started for quite a while with 4 hours a week, then tapered off to 3 hours a week, now i’m down to about 1.5 hours every 3 weeks. Not that i’m lacking the hair for 4 hours a week again, but it just seems to get tougher and tougher. I compare pre treatment pictures to my current self and see a huge improvement. Now I just look more like a hairier person as opposed to something apelike.

I will keep getting periodic treatments here and there, but my main question here is about relationships.

My biggest reason for not starting any relationships or even dating that much in the last several years is because of the hair thing.

So i’m asking you gals, and even guys who have had similar issues, how big a deal is it to have some body hair if you definitely connect with someone and then they discover your body hair? Is that an automatic deal breaker? I know it depends on the person, but how likely is somebody to get dumped when the girl discovers hairy abs and back? Now i’m not talking those shirtless guys they show in the beer commercials hair, but still significant hair.

I haven’t given up on the hair battle, but have just realized that I am not going to win the war completely. Nothing wrong with winning smaller battles, I guess!

Thanks!

2

I think guys have a hard time understanding that women have as much a right to be physically attracted to our partners as men do. Men never go after a woman they wouldn’t want to have sex with, yet they expect us to, or they are not honest with themselves as to how physically attractive they are. So if you’re one of those guys who wants a woman who’s really physically perfect, you should keep working on fixing your flaws.

Think about under what circumstances YOU are willing to accept physical flaws on a woman, then don’t expect a double standard.

3

This reminds me of a comedy routine done by the late Jackie Moms Mabley. She said that men never know what they are getting. Between wigs, falls, (update the joke to say hair extensions and weaves), he doesn’t know what her real hair is like. The fingernails are fake, as are the eyelashes, (update the joke to say the suntan, the color of her eyes) and let’s not forget the girdles and padded push up bras (dare I update that part?)

I think that it is fair to say that there is a difference between the potential for a man to look at a woman and think that he finds her attractive, and later find that none of what he found physically attractive is actually her, than what Matt is talking about, which is that she must have found his face and general body that she saw to be attractive, and the only new information is the amount of hair he has on his body.

Matt, my friend, for what it is worth, you missed your time. In the 70’s, guys were actually glueing fake hair on their chests, in a vain effort to look more like Paul Stanly of KISS, and a number of other bushy bodied men. I even remember the 80’s and 90’s when wrestler Big Scott Hall (Razor Ramone to the younger kids) was hailed for his “Manley Hairiness”. In fact the only guy from that era who got ridiculed for his hairiness was George The Animal Steele, and he just looked like an ape, (his hair was not only plentiful, but grew long enough to braid into corn-rows!)

I will tell you like I tell all the ladies, If she is talking to you, she must not find you repulsive. Don’t be afraid to date just because of this. If I were you, I would be going swimming and keeping track of who was more interested in me because of what they saw, instead of trying to keep everyone from knowing what I look like.

Seriously, I have had women tell me that they did not find me attractive because I did not have enough body hair for their tastes. I have even heard a whine and moan of, “Ah, I was hoping you would have more body hair” from a woman. I say, don’t concentrate on those who don’t like what you have, spend more time finding people who do like what you are, and spend more time with them. :grin:

4

James, just for the record, some of us still wear all those things :wink:

5

I think we tend to concentrate on our flaws, or what we perceive to be flaws, a lot more than other people do. If you go into dating without focusing on these things so much, I think you’ll discover that the opposite sex doesn’t either. Many people do things to impress other people, not for themselves. Then there are others who are just confident with what they have and get what they want because they portray that confidence, which is attractive.

Either way, I think for a male, having hair on the front part of your body is completely normal by any standard. I think most women would agree. I understand if you’re self-conscious about back hair since most magazines would have you believe that men are not supposed to have it, but you really shouldn’t be about any chest or stomach hair.

I’m also curious why you chose to go with electrolysis on areas with coarse dense hair that most men have on their chest and stomach. I would strongly recommend for you to consider laser on those areas, or any other large areas with dense coarse dark hair, if you’re really serious about removing it for good and a lot faster than with electrolysis. Electrolysis is great for finer hair, but laser will be faster and cheaper overall for those areas with dense coarse hair.

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Candela - Brutal but honest. You are right about these things.

James - Some good humor and good points about just letting others know who you are. They have to get used to it at some point. I guess life is short right? We spend day after day worrying about our hair, yet none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Before I had my hair problem, I probably never paid any attention to anybody else’s hair. Maybe it’s still the same for others.

LaGirl - The whole reason i’m in this predickament is because of laser induced growth. I went for laser treatments mainly for the back of my neck, and decided that while I was there I would just do the whole upper body since I was traveling out of town for treatments. My upper body at that point did have some hair but not huge amounts. Biggest mistake of my life I think. The laser was the Candela Gentlelase. I’d be hesitant to try another one.

Thanks for the comments.

7

That means your hair wasn’t coarse enough for laser. I’m sorry you encountered a clinic that treated you anyway. That really sucks.

I think this thread should probably be in Share Your Feelings forum.

8

Many years ago when I was new to Sydney I accidently introduced two clients who have been married for years now. Her reaction to his hairiness was great relief because she beleived herself to be extremely hairy(she was average in my opinion) His reaction was to never have another treatnent. They now live in NY and we are all still great friends. Had to share this with you Matt.

9

Thanks for all of the great comments. I guess we sometimes have to accept the fact that none of us are perfect, but can work on our flaws the best we can. Thanks for the story coconnell!

10

People come in all shapes, sizes and body decor…there are also all types of personalities and levels of confidence. I’m sad that the hair problem lowered your level of confidence thus keeping you from pursuing a relationship. I wonder how many women you’ve met thought you aloof and perhaps didn’t flirt because they sensed you were unapproachable…when actually…you might be a bit shy?

There might even be a website for women to find guys who are “decorated” like the 70’s fashion…there’s everything else out there!

11

My female client in the incident I mentioned in the earlier post said she felt really feminine being with such a masculine guy. She totally embraced his hairiness and in turn felt much better about herself.

12

Matt, the good thing is you are a guy. If you made pie chart about what men and women were attracted too it’d go something like this.

Men - 95% would be looks. 3% would be personality. 1% sexual prowess. 1% money.

Women - 20% looks. 20% power. 20% personality. 20% sexual prowress. 20% money.

So, basically, it doesn’t matter as much to women. There have been studies about this. Haven’t you ever wondered why you see some fat dude with some hot chick? Probably because he has a great personality, is powerful or has alot of money.

13

Hair is great on a guy. I know plenty of females who don’t like to date hairless men because they feel like they are dating a pre-adolescent child. Of all the complaints I’ve ever heard a female make about a guy, I’ve NEVER heard one complain about hair except in sitcoms. In real life, women don’t always want a man who is “prettier” than themselves.

Now, personally, I don’t give any credence to looks at all. It’s just how my priorities are. But if you are very superficial when it comes to dating and judging women, then I kind of think you deserve it if they are superficial right back, and I have no pity for you. But if you care more about personality than looks, and wouldn’t dump a great girl if you found out she had hair on her stomach or arms or something, then it sounds like you will attract the sort of woman who wouldn’t care if YOU had hair. You get what you give in most cases.

Heh, hopefully that makes some sense…