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#1

Hello, I’m new here.

My story goes something like this:

I’m a 23 year old female who has struggled with acne and facial hair through my entire teenage years (acne at 14, hair at 15). While the acne has improved with age the hair has not. In fact it’s gotten a little out of control. While I could easily shrug off the acne by simply ignoring the collective public whispers the addition of unwanted hair into the mix has crushed me.

The ultimate turning point for me happened one day on vacation when I was arguing to my parents that I did not wish to go to the beach or anywhere in public with this much hair on my face. My father then sat me down in the bathroom and shaved me. I felt like crying I was so ashamed. It was a quick solution but in the end the wrong one. I had to keep shaving because the hair only got worse and worse.

My mother advocated laser but after a consultation and my failing to show up for the appointment (out of fear that the technology was not sound), I collapsed into depression.

A year later my mother dragged me to this nice electrologist and I have begun treatment as of december 2005. It felt euphoric that finally there was a solution to this problem. I go there weekly. At first it took about 2 hours to clear the hair on my chin and neck for the first month but we’re down to one hour once week. My skin is very very pale and the hairs a multitude of dark, medium, and light. They’re all super strong and thick from the shaving. I’ve been religiously going to the electrologist for 3 months now.

But the hair keeps coming back with no noticeable change. My mind fills with questions of ‘how long should this take?’ and whether or not I’m just throwing money at the problem. My mother is very supportive and I keep going anyway.

I’ve been poking around the forums and I hear that it could take up to a year to clear the problem completely. Quite honestly I’m shocked. I thought it would take four months at most. As a university drop out (financial reasons) I work retail and I don’t make a lot of money. All I can tell myself is: keep going, keep going.

Coping with hair on my face isn’t easy. No one says anything out of polite silence. It’s the unspoken topic but I know they know (especially my family) and it wounds me more than anything. My boyfriend of 5 years hasn’t said ANYTHING about it until I recently built up the courage and was fianally ready to confront him about it. I guess that’s true love huh?

If anyone wishes to share their feelings alongside mine, please don’t hesitate.

#2

I just want to point out that although your situation will take anywhere from 9 to 24 months to take care of, you won’t be going every week, and you won’t be going for as long each appointment, and after all, if I told you that you could look fine and never have to do it again by practicing some ritual in your basement, would you do that for a year in order to have the rest of your life hair free?

As for your boyfriend, men learn that one thing you never do is ask a woman a question like, “Why haven’t you taken care of that personal or physical flaw yet?” After all, everyone knows that all women are perfect in the eyes of the man who loves them, otherwise, he must not REALLY LOVE THEM right? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

#3

Hi James

Very correct assesment. True love from a man to a women never requires perfection. What is interesting and emerging increasinly from this forum is that young women struggle with unwanted hair a lot. So do men. Very revealing point I think. Both sexes hate excess hair. I think the only question is what is excessive? How do we define excessive? Is it personal perception or some more clearly defined assesment? Perhaps some thoughts on this?

Regards
Stuart

#4

I believe the world would be a happier place if people weren’t so pressured and obsessed with fitting the cruel mythical standards that our species imposes on itself. That many cosmetic companies are financially benefitting (in the billions) from this hapless exploitation of self dissatisfaction makes me sick.

And yet I am also guilty of conforming due to this ‘blemish’ of excess hair. I’m not alone either. In order to evade the conformation you’d have to spend your whole life away from the public eye I think.

In essence I think people need to stop gawking and start caring.

A little off the mark but those are my thoughts and feelings.

#5

Hi Wild Cherry:

I agree with James that you have to be patient and it may take up to 24 months to get rid of your hair problem.

I have personally been at it for 1/2 a year with laser at first, followed by 26 months of electrolysis. At times early on I also wondered if it was really hopeless or would work. But I stuck with it and am extremely happy with the results.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with it.

Alicia

#6

Hi Wild Cherry

Conformation is a myth that this forum is good at dealing with. We all are individuals who have the right to be seen in the public eye witout prejudice or preconcieved notions. We need not hide from the public view because of a bit of hair or lack therof. The opposite is true in my view. Just relax about your hair issues, I assure you there are millions with the same - just look around this forum and you will see!

Regards
Stuart

#7

Hi Again:

Just so you know, a lot of women go for electrolysis or laser, but are usually quiet about having to do that. Maybe they are ashamed to admit they have a hair problem and assume they are an isolated case.

I was talking to my dental hygienist who is a very pretty woman, and it turned out we were both going to the same place for hair removal. Another female friend also admitted that she goes for hair removal too.

Most of the clients I see going for hair removal are women. You are not alone there.

Is society wrong for looking down on women with hair problems? Of course they are. As Stuart also pointed out there is a lot of pressure to conform to societal expectations, rightly or wrongly.

Alicia

#8

You guys are awesome. Thanks for opening my eyes and answering my questions. I’m gonna keep up with my appointments and not miss a thing. I recently found out that my mother’s hairdresser goes too. Not only that but her daughter who I know and met while at the electrologist!

One client also smiled at me and said: “Ah the things we do for beauty.”

I’m going to make a b-line for that light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you all!

=D

#9

hi wild_cherry,
I know exactly how you feel. I myself, am a 23 year old female with facial hair. I also was one of those teenagers(starting at 13 until I was 18) with severe acne. It was mortifying. But then the acne cleared up and the facial hair came.

At first it was really fine and blonde and I didn’t really mind it. Then a few course black hairs came. A boy in one of my classes made a comment to me about shaving my facial hair and i went home and immediatly started shaving. Big Mistake!!! Now I have to shave my chin, and under my chin every morning. I bleach my mustache, but it is still very obvious.

I finally got the courage to tell my husband about it last week. He is not a real lovey dovey emotional guy, so I expected him to be shocked and actually thought that he might laugh. But when I told him, he said "Oh, really…well i still think your beautiful. " and that was it.

We are really really tight on money right now, so he doesn’t want me to have electrolysis right now, and I totally understand b/c we are broke. But, he said that next year (if i can wait that long) we should be able to afford it. so i am counting the days!!.

Now i am starting to notice that my fine hair on my face is starting to turn darker, and i am very pale so it really stands out. Please keep us posted on how your electrolysis is going. i need all the inspiration i can get, b/c i am really depressed about it. Anyways, sorry for the long post. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.