Hi Yankeegirl,
I’ve been exactly where you are & know how tough it is.
Here’s my advice on your situation, it doesn’t come from a technical standpoint, just things I’ve learned along the way from my own experience.
Instead of shaving everyday, I’d suggest plucking or look into laser. Waxing would be a good choice except for the fact that you’ll have to let the hair grow out a bit so the wax can grab on. If you’re like me, the last thing I wanted to do was show the world what I had been covering up for so long, in the process of getting rid of it. If I remember right, the same holds true with electrolysis, or at least where I went it did. The lady who did it said I would need to stop plucking during treatment, and shave instead, but not shave for a week before each treatment. This may not be true of all places (?) so maybe check this out.
With plucking, you still may have to do it every day or so, but you’ll have the hairs growing in different cycles so it’s not as much at once. Also, it reduces that dark shadow that you still see under make up. The other good option in my opinion is laser. I’ve plucked my facial hair since I was 15. Now, at 24 after deciding I couldn’t do this forever, & feel so self-conscious about it, I’m getting laser. The only thing that’s been keeping me from it was money, but I decided it was important enough I would take out a loan if I had to. One of the main things I liked about this, was that I could shave up until my treatments and right afterwards if needed. Sometimes if I’m going to be at home for the day, I won’t shave so I can see how much of it is coming in. I was also told at some places that I would need to let enough grow to make a 5 o’clock shadow before my appointments , so they could see where to laser. For me, that can be accomplished by just not shaving the morning of the treatment.
As for the fiance thing…I’ve been there too. No guy I ever dated saw me without make up on, & never knew about my facial hair. I’ve been married 10 months, & when I first met my husband I wondered what he would think of me when he found out. I intended to keep it hidden as long as I could, I thought I could even tell him, as long as he never saw it. He lived in 3 hours away, and before my first time to go visit him I knew I had to tell, I’d be there a week & I’d have to pluck every day. When I told him he was so great about it. He started telling me all the things he didn’t like about his body & told me I was beautiful no matter what. During our engagement & after we got married he’s seen the hair, watched me pluck, and now that I’m getting laser has even seen my chin completely covered in black hair. He knows how much I hate it & how it makes me feel, and always tells me that he supports my decision to get laser, but that he’s loves me no matter how I look. I’m sure your guy is great, give him the chance to be a source of support through this.
I appologize for this being so long, your story just really hit close to home. Good luck in everything & keep us posted on how things go…