Really depressed

Special Issues Transgender / Transsexual
#1

I really just don’t know whether I can go on anymore.

I know people say too much hair can ruin someones life and these are men that are REALLY hairy. They can just get it waxed, it’s normal. For women the amount of hair they have might be abnormal but it’s hardly going to be nothing that a few electro sessions can’t cure. For the TS it is the combination of both worlds and this makes it the worst.

I’m 17 MTF and I have more hair than ANY of my friends. We are talking 5 o clock shadow/hairy hands/feet/legs/arms/back/chest/face. At first I thought there was hope, with laser it would all be removed without any problem but I’m not even sure if laser would work for me. I have 1200 pounds saved up from my part time job but I’m not willing to spend any money until I know something is certain to work.

I went to see a shrink who should be refering me to a Gender identity clinic but I haven’t heard from him in MONTHS. I don’t want to call him cause I get embarassed. When I told him I wanted to be a girl I felt horrible because it was as if my 5 oclock shadow was there to remind me that the hair will never go and I can forget my dreams of being who I am inside.

Is there hope for me with hormones? How much reduction can I expect?

#2

Hi BlindFaith–

Hair removal is a very difficult challenge, but it’s one that many young women in your situation have overcome. :smile:

You should concentrate on your facial hair for now. If you have light skin and dark hair, laser can sometimes help reduce the amount of facial hair significantly, but choosing the right laser and (more importantly) the right practitioner will be absolutely essential. I’ll tell you right now it will cost more than 1200 pounds to remove all your facial hair permanently, but that will be a great start. Resilts vary significantly with laser, so it is absolutely vital that you fo to someone recommended by a TS woman who is done and happy. There are a LOT of scams and crappy practitioners in England, so you must do research so you don’t throw your money away.

As far as the therapist, you need to keep the pressure on. personally, i’;m not a big fan of the gender clinics, especially for younger people. They tend to be very conservative and very slow. You may be better off going it alone.

Whatever you do, don’t buy anything from Stephanie Anne Lloyd’s Albany Gender Clinic or Crissy Wild. They are both parasites who prey on desperate members of their own community.

Hormones may help with body hair, but don’t worry about that until your face is under control.

If you have any questions, we are here to help you get through all this. It may seem tough now, but things will work out great if you just stay focused and positive. There’s help and hope out there!
:wink:

#3

Thanks for your reply.

The thing is I know that if I were rich nothing would be a problem at all.

I was initially planning to go down London to go private. 200 per appointment and you get hormones pretty much straight away ( he is quite controversial ). The hormones could be payed for by the national health service or on your own and I heard it is like 20 pound per month. That seemed ok but the 9000 pounds for SRS and that’s just for down below. Another few thousand for a boob job. Plus Trachea shave !

People seem to think different things about what I should do. One TS suggested I just get this stuff that covers facial hair and “go out” She said that hormones are REALLY dangerous and I shouldn’t take them till I have a date for surgery cause they will put a strain on my body.

Another said that was a bad idea. Since I haven’t ever been out fully dressed it could create more problems. She was pro London clinic ( she went ) and she said hormones did a lot for her and also gave her more confidence. She said it was vital I get hormones now cause I’m 17.

I go to college and work sat+sun for 40 pound per week. I hear about these gender clinics and they sound horrible. More like they are judging you than helping you. They only give hormones on your 4th visit (I think) and I hear people can be on waiting lists for years just get a first visit. Someone also said if I got hormones through someone private and then went to a GIC then they would really look down on it.

I 'm not one of those people who are desperate for surgery. I just want to pass. I know I sound like a bit of a hormone monster but I realise that they will help my hair removal process.

Here is what laser places quotes I have for my face

500 per treatment ( Ellispe flex )
200 per treatment (Epitouch PlusTM Alexandrite)
240 for 10 treatments ( Epil2000 ) (Salon )

Plus is laser even permanent? Some people say it is and others say no. More conflicting views :frowning:

Sorry for the size of the post but I’m really upset and I’m so unsure what I should do.

[ December 30, 2002, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: BlindFaith ]

#4

Don’t worry about SRS.

Skip the gender clinics.

Whoever told you to get on hormones now is right. You should especially get on antiandrogens to help with body hair. It’s won’t affect facial hair.

This page outlines what you should concentrate on when starting out:

TSRoadmap: customizing your transition trouble

There’s also a section on financing. Be sure to check out the section on early transition, too. Lot of good advice from women your gae.

There are no guarantees with laser, but if done by a practitioner with experience in treating transsexual facial hair that’s dark on light skin, it’s likely you will see about one-third to two-thirds of the hair removed from a few treatments. With luck, this will be permanent.

You MUST choose a practitioner with experince in removing androgen-induced facial hair like yours. Ask women in your area who are done and happy. Eventually, you will need to finish up with electrolysis. You probably won’t see much more improvement after six or so laser treatments.

Let me know if you have other questions!
:smile:

#5

I think you are right about going to a gender clinic. It will take to long and it will effect the outcome of the transition in the long term I think.

I clicked on the link it was really helpful

I had been on your site before and I have to say…it is THE best TS website EVER.

After planning out my finances a bit more I realise I am in a unique situation being a student. Although my family isn’t rich I can say that most of the things people actually have to consider…I don’t. Sure hair removal for me will cost LOADS more than average but then again I don’t have rent, insurance, tax, food or transport to budget for so I guess I might be able to face the challege after all.

Your voice is AMAZING ! and you look AMAZING too ! I want the DVD version of the program but I’m not sure if it is compatable with my PS2 ( that’s my only DVD player )

Plus being from England means there is a DVD regional difference aswell :frowning:

Oh and is it really that easy to just jump from a male to female voice?

Do you ever wake up in the morning and just slip into your old voice/ or mid day when you just forget about it?

Do you feel like your putting on a voice?

Does it hurt?

Can you should loud? Or scream like you are in a horror film?

Sorry for the questions. Your just really famous and you inspire so many people. The fact that you can even be bothered to reply to posts on a message board is just another example of how nice you are.

sorry for the length of the post again

#6

Thanks for the nice comments, Blindfaith!

The voice stuff is a little off-topic here, so I’ll give a quick run-down. If you have more questions, you can email me. I don’t know if the DVD+Rs are playable in PS2s. If you wait about a month, we should have some that play in almost any DVD player or console. You can jump back and forth once you have the hang of it. Once you’ve been using it long enough, a female voice IS your voice, and it feels weird to use the old one. It takes a while for the muscles to get built up so you can yell if needed and so your throat isn’t sore.

I try to answer questions about this stuff because I know what it’s like to be in your shoes, trying to figure it all out. My hope is to get young women to start earlier and get done with as much speed and as little hassle as possible. You can do pretty much whatever you set your mind to! I’m glad the financing information made you realize you can do all this, too, and that it’s not as bad as it seemed at first. :smile:

#7

Hi-
I hope you are feeling better about your situation. I thought I would add my persepctive and encouragement.

I started my transition about a year or so ago. While I wasn’t hugely hairy, I was hairy enough; no amount of shaving in the world was going to make my shadow disappear. I would shave my face until it was raw, pack on heavy foundation, etc. Ugh. Chicago summers are disgusting enough without all that stuff on.

I started HRT last April, and electrolysis a few
months later in early September. It is expensive,
it is painful, but is it ever worth it. After my initial clearing, my shadow was GONE. Even before I started electrolysis, friends of mine commented that my shadow appeared a lot less prominent. I didn’t expect this, and it doesn’t seem to be backed up by the information I’ve read on the web
(I started when I was 36, well past puberty, alas), but there we are. Maybe, since these friends knew that I had started HRT, they were seeing something that wasn’t there. At any rate, it has made all the difference.

As far as body hair is concerned, I have noticed
that recently it has been melting away, but that has been after ~9 months of HRT and ~1 month since
my orchiectomy. I would definitely recommend letting the hormones do their thing before spending money there.

One other thing–I am far from being made of money. Andrea’s website really helped me get at least an idea of what I would have to do financially for my transistion–something that I had always assumed would be forever beyond my reach (Thanks, Andrea :smile: !) Anyway, I have been dumping all my transition costs onto my “transition credit card” (and I will probably need an additional one). So far that’s > $6200
for the electrolysis alone. It’s an investment,
like my student loans (sigh).

I’m not sure if this was helpful. Hang in there.
You have an incredible advantage in that you are
planning these things a lot earlier than I did.
Take care,
Megan

#8

Hello Blindfaith:
I have a TG friend who went through her journey starting at the tender age of 26. She did her
Facial with Ousterhout and she is happy with her new look.
I have discussed the hair issue with her and she
swears by electrolysis.
And please, dear, don’t worry too much. The earlier you do your change the better off you are. She turned 30 this past weekend and she is a beauty. (and she is a beauty in her soul too. I have never
met anyone with a spirit such as hers in my life).

Hope the electrolysis or whatever method you choose works for you.

I also have several CD friends and while electro isn’t the most common option for them the removal of hair IS.

tommyL
(otherwise known as tammi)