please help me

hello friends.

when i was 13, i began shaving the sides of my face. this is the biggest regret i have, and i must still deal with it every day. the hair eventually began spreading down to my chin and neck. i was completely horrified and too embarrassed to even bring it up with anyone, even a medical professional. hairs began growing around my nipples, upper lip, abdomen and lower stomach area. my arm hair is becoming more dense. now that chest hair is sprouting, i’m not sure that i can handle much more of this.

i wax and pluck my chin/neck weekly, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much good anymore and i can’t bring myself to start shaving that area as well.

i can’t deal with this any longer. i often look in the mirror and cry. i haven’t let anyone touch my face and haven’t worn my hair up in nine years. i dread walking outdoors, but can muster up the strength and courage to do so with my boyfriend by my side. i’ve always hidden the fact that i shave and wax from him. i’d like to bring it up but i don’t know how to begin the conversation.

my periods have always been irregular and i fear that i may have PCOS, but i no longer have health insurance and i won’t have any for quite some time.
i’m not sure if it’s a good idea to pursue electrolysis or laser treatments without visiting a doctor first. however, i feel like this is my only option at this point.

i am going to be moving to michigan in two months, and i would like to get rid of this hair once and for all. i’m unsure which would be better in my case, electrolysis or laser? i have light skin with dark hair.

i’m tired of feeling unattractive and miserable. i’m tired of people staring at me like i’m a freak and commenting under their breath.
i don’t want anyone to question my gender.
i’m very worried that this problem is going to continue and spread. i already feel as though i have no control over my body.

thank you for your support. i’d really like to hear from you, even if it’s just to say hello. i don’t want to feel alone anymore. i wish we all could live in a empathetic society that didn’t make individuals feel so ashamed about something so natural.

thank you again.


You are not alone here on HairTell. Many people will relate to your experience and condition. I am glad you dropped by and that you now have an outlet to talk about it.

It is a sad fact of human nature that people, often the most insecure ones themselves, need to point out other peoples differences, in order to reinforce the notion that they are part of the bigger, ‘normal’ group… Please, as hard as it can be, try to ignore those people.

It sounds like you do need to get checked out medically, hormones may be running awry, or other issues may be at work.

Once you get any underlying medical condition stabilised, then the hair may stop spreading, but the hair already apparent is unlike to recede, so you need to look at a permanent hair removal method. For the face, I would have no hesitation in recommending electrolysis. Other, larger, areas may respond well to LASER, or they may not.

We all know that any form of treatment can be a lot of money, but the advantage with electrolysis is that you can get $50-100 sessions at a time, when you can afford to, as opposed to hundreds and thousands up front for LASER work. Done properly, electrolysis is going to be permanent.

For the present moment, I would recommend:

  1. Get any underlying issues diagnosed and treated.

  2. Find a good electrologist and get started on your face and neck.

  3. If you want, get your arms/legs, chest and other areas waxed professionally to keep them under control for a few weeks/months at a time.

Good luck, there is light at the end of the tunnel, just keep your focus and keep moving forward. Once you start to see progress on the face, then you will feel much better - other parts can be covered up until you can get around to them.

Please, we are here to listen and support, so come back and let us share your journey; one a lot of us have already undertaken…



[ May 09, 2003, 11:27 PM: Message edited by: IHH ]

I too was in your shoes. :frowning: I have recently started LHR treatments and I feel like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders, just because I am finally doing something about it. I am sure that whatever method you choose, it will be a positive change. I had my upper&lower lip, chin and neck treatd. My first reatment was 3 weeks ago. At first I was freaking out abit cause the hairs where “stuck” and more noticable than before and couldn’t shave them off. I went to this forum for support and got very encouraging replies. Well, they were right and the hairs did eventually fall out. My face was horrible before, especially from plucking an hour a day, but now my face is really smooth and clear. I truly feel great about the rest of my treatments. I now only shave lightly to get rid a very few hairs left on the areas. And I believe it will only get better. I too had thick, dense black hair on my face that made me feel so ugly.
I had to tell my fiance about all of this as he was in the dark about the lengths I was going through to remove the unwanted hair. He was extremely understanding and supportive. Hiding it was much harder than finally telling him everything.
Laser Hair Removal has been good so far and I hoped I helped you in some way. I can’t believe how long I waited to do something about it.
Good Luck and keep us posted!!

Hi missmodular,
Wow, I completely feel for you :frowning:

As the resident guy here, I would like to say this: Stop blowing off the guys who talk to you. Chances are, he has already noticed the hair, and doesn’t care. Look at this hair as your jerk-o-meter. No Shallow Hal’s need apply!

Because I am an electrologist, most women I date think I have some kind of hair fetish and want them to be completely hairless. The truth is I could care less. Just be who you are.

I remove hair because it is my profession. I am not on a holy mission to rid the world of female hair so that I can sleep in peace. I sleep pretty well no matter the state of the hair on the gal next to me :wink: (ok, I do perfer that she let the hair on her head grow as long as it will go, but allow me one typical guy thing here will yah? Why do you think we guys allow you to breaka date by saying “I have to wash my hair”? We don’t want you to cut it so that you don’t need all night to wash it.)

missmodular, you are like my twin. you’ve described me perfectly. it’s great to hear that there are others out there w/ the same problems that i face everyday. when i was younger, it was my mom who commented on my facial hair (random black hairs), so i decided to shave it off, not knowing or thinking back then what the results would be (lots of dark hair/beard). it’s encouraging to see i am not alone! i’m glad i found this place!