OBSESSED wth what I've done 2 my hair.new to site

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#1

A kind hello to anybody who may be reading.

I have posted my questions in the correct forum, but i am so miserable i really need to get how i am feeling down in writing… any comments are welcome and greatly appreciated. I am new to this site. Apologies in advance for any rambling…

It all started in Oz. Was low on cash, no hairspray or gel left. Had no time to shower so just put my hair in a pony tail. Had lots of stray hairs on my hairline all sticking out from greasness, so grabbed my tweezers and plucked them out thinking only about how to fix the problem there & then with NO thought about consequence. Probably no more than 10 hairs or so.

It’s four years on & I’m paranoid about & obsessed with the short regrowth all across my hairline. I’m certain the 10 or so hairs have turned into maybe 15 or 20 since I started plucking, either from accidentally plucking the wrong hair, or from plucking a hair which I thought I had plucked before.

I changed my hairstyle from a centre parting to a side one as the short regrowth has become more visible the more I pluck. I now wear it sweeping from the right to left & always have it clipped in place & hairsprayed to the max so there’s no way my hair can move & give anybody an opportunity to see the regrowth. I am bored of doing this with my hair everyday. When I walk into work in the morning & say hi to a colleague, the first thing I look at is their hair & their hairline. I find myself staring at the girl who sits opposite me. She has beautiful hair & I worry that maybe she can see I am staring at her hairline. I am jealous even though they are close friends, I wish I could wear my hair confidently the way they do. I will sit and watch tv & see people in commercials & soaps, but will concentrate more about how great their hair looks compared to mine than what the programme is actually about. I will walk round the supermarket & literally study people as they walk past me and I will say to myself " they are better & so lucky because they have perfect hair" - and I genuinely believe this.

I try to wash my hair everyday if I can, the stray, plucked hairs seem to be more noticable when my hair is a little greasy. Because I have been plucking them for so long now, they appear to be growing back in the direction which I have been plucking, (downwards), and not in the natural flow of the rest of my hair.

I will leave my plucked hairs to grow back a few centimetres & will usually pluck out before going out somewhere nice, or before going on holiday if know i’ll be at the beach & my hair might get wet & people might be able to see it. I’m getting a fringe cut in tomorrow so I can let it grow for as long as I can before figuring out how i’m going to fix this once and for all because i’m sick of it. Even after having plucked just half an hour ago, I still fear sitting in the chair at the hairdressers as the shampooist washes my hair. I worry that they will notice something strange when they are touching my hairline. I understand of course that I have created this paranoia & the chances that they are examining my hairline as they wash it are pretty much zero. Having a fringe may help to alter my mind set so I dont have to literally force my hairstyle to try and hide my hairline, I’m stressed and drained from wondering what I will do with my hair in the morning to cover it up, a fringe at least will stop these thoughts.

I realise that some people have far bigger problems than this, but I think the problem is I have allowed myself to become completely obsessed by it. I had kept this to myself for 4 years until last week. I told my boyfriend & he is being so supportive. He says he has never noticed & we have been together 3 years. I showed him the hair, but I was crying as I did it as I feel ashamed of what I have done to myself. He thinks a fringe is the best solution for now, we let it grow & then perhaps consider some form of permenant removal of the hairs which I have plucked.

I would be very interested to hear if anybody else has been through anything similar to what I’m going through. Everyone always tells me what beautiful long, dark, thick hair I have… but when they say it I don’t hear it & think to myself instead " if only you could see what I have done to it you wouldn’t be saying that". I will quickly change the subject because I have nothing good to say about my hair & don’t want to talk about it.

Any advise regarding how i might be able to move forward, and what might be necessary to do this would be greatly appreciated. I used to be so confident about my looks, just hope that maybe one day i’ll feel good about myself again.

Thanks again for any help or words of comfort offered.

D

#2

You didn’t do anything wrong. Those new hairs would have grown in regardless due to your age and changing hormones.

You really should just stop touching them altogether for several months and the growth will become normal and natural-looking.

If you’re really unhappy at that point still, you can get electrolysis done to get rid of any offending hairs for good.

Btw, the obsessive part of this is a type of OCD. If it feels like it’s taking over your life, you may want to see a specialist about it. At a point, it becomes less about the hair and more about control.

#3

Hi LAgirl,

Thank you for your advise. I had that fringe cut in & do feel like I have had a confidence boost now the hairs are not visible. I do know however, that I still have a pretty deep rooted problem regarding how I have let myself become obsessed by what I have done. I am punishing myself perhaps. I don’t know. Whatever it is I will be sure to be visiting this forum to get my feelings out & to share my electrolysis experience once my hairs have grown & I find the courage to sit without crying whilst being examined by a professional.

Thanks again for your encouraging words.

Dee

#4

Dee

I have to tell you, I think , without diagnosing you as i do not know you, that your symptoms appear to be more along the anxiety/OCD/body dysmorphic syndrome sort than anything actually being wrong with you physically.

For starters, the more you pluck hair from your hairline, the worse it will look, so stop it. In fact, if you could leave it alone for a year, I guarantee you that it would normally grow back in. I have short sort of tufs of hair at my temples that stick out a bit if i pull my hair back too much, but I either clip them down or wear my ponytail differently. In fact, especially when my hair is down, Im told I have beautiful hair constantly. People all have different hairlines, some are stronger hairlines than others, its not a big deal and no one notices it I promise.

Second, hairlines can change with age and hormone fluctuations.

Third, again, stop touching it and obsessing. If you cannot stop obsessing, and i do not say this to offend as I work in mental health, buyt you seriously must find a reputable therapist to help you work through these anxieties, because I guarantee you that what you think you see in the mirror is not what everyone else sees.

Do yourself that favour before you make drastic decisions like electrolysis to what may well be a very normal hairline that you are unable to acknowledge.

Please. For your health and mental safety, your level of obsession with this is far outside normal behaviour and needs to be addressed, and not by people on a message board. OK?

Hope you get the help you need.