My Story...Don't give up

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I hope that reading this will give others with hirsutism, or who are just plain hairy, some hope. I’m a 23 year old female. I’ve been dealing with being hairy since I hit puberty. It’s just genetic. My dad’s hairy, my brother’s hairy, and other people in my family are too. I had my hormones tested a while back, which came back all normal. Most of us just have skin that is sensitive to the normal levels of hormones in our body. Some have it worse than others with darker or coarser hair, or more of it. Yes, there are medications for this, such as birth control, and spironolactone. They can help slow growth and prevent new growth.

Here’s the thing…as far as I can see on here, so many of you girls are letting this problem rule your life. Don’t get me wrong, I was like that for a long time. There are still days when I get depressed, but I had to make a choice not to let this problem take over my life. Instead of just moping around and wishing I was naturally not hairy, I have to make do with what I have and figure out ways to eliminate the hair. Since doctors are usually no help, unless your hormones are out of whack, you have to help yourself. Atleast there are hair removal methods out there and medications to treat this. What if you had herpes, AIDS, cancer, etc.? If the hair is coarse, at least you can laser it away, for others with fine hair, they can’t. Bleaching is a great way to make finer, dark hair less noticeable. You just have to tell yourself that you are beautiful, but you have to work harder at it than everyone else.

Let me tell you that I am married to a wonderful, beautiful man. Of course, when we met, I was hiding the hairiness, but he eventually discovered my secret prior to marrying me, and he still thinks I’m just as beautiful as before. I have a friend who is the same way. She has taught me so much. I needed to find a new love…my problem was that I thought having love meant that I had to be conventionally beautiful, but love has nothing to do with how you look. Believe me, I am not always so optimistic, and sometimes I let this issue take over me, but I need to snap out of it. Stop living each day worried about the future, about wanting your hair to be gone tomorrow, and wishing you weren’t born this way b/c it’s too late for that. You have to deal with life one day at a time and realize that you make your life what it is. Control the hair, don’t let it control you. I spend about 30-40 minutes in the shower every monring shaving, but I tell myself that it’s only 30-40 minutes out of my day that I have to deal with this. It’s a sacrifice and I can’t worry that most other girls don’t have to do this b/c if I was other girls, than I wouldn’t be me, and I wouldn’t have my life, or my husband.

What I’m saying girls, is that we need to band together and help eachother. Stop complaining. If you really want to see that you’re not the only one out there like you, than why don’t you post on here where you live and see if there is anyone else on here who lives in that area and get together. You can’t wait for things to change on their own…you can’t wait for others to do things for you, or for the answers you want to hear to come around.

#2

With some people, dealing with hair issues can be as bad as anorexia - telling them not to worry about it is not really going to do much for them.

PS - if you really do have a hormone/sensitivity issue, why not get the spiro you were asking about in another thread from a doctor instead of through the internet???

#3

I am not telling people not to worry about it. I know exactly what they feel, and have gone through the same issues and had the same feelings as them. I’m saying that it’s okay to worry about it, but we can’t sit around waiting for a solution to come and wishing that we weren’t born this way. We were, so now it’s all about how can I deal and learn to live with what I’ve been given. If only society wasn’t they way it was…the pressures to look a certain way. If only everyone suffering from hirsutism realized that they really aren’t alone and there was psychological help out there for them. There is, but if they are like me, they are too scared to discuss their situation with anyone. I kind of disagree with what you said about annorexia being the same as someone who is hairy. You aren’t born annorexic. Annorexia isn’t about food, it is all about control. I would never tell a person who’s suffering from annorexia to not worry abou it. Unfortunately, they are sick people (not necessarily their own fault) and made a choice to be annorexic. Someone with hirsutism did not.

My whole point was that I just don’t want others out there to fall into depression or think that an issue of body hair is worth killing themselves over. I’ll admit that yes it is a big deal and if you’re uncomfortable and don’t accept how it is, as I did, than you have to be able to help yourself because most other people won’t. Studies have shown that people more inclined to become depressed are the people who don’t have control over other aspects of their life. I want to give others tips on how to feel better about their situation. Gain control of the rest of your life…take up hobbies, work out, eat right, read, etc. Since your genetic make up (body hair) is something you have no control over…let that be the only thing. And then find ways to get rid of it.

#4

Thank you for sharing your story - I think people knowing that other people go through the same thing is helpful – like when my tech told me that tons of women come in for removing hair around their nipples, i was so relieved. Prior to that I thought I was abnormal b/c none of my friends had hair there.

#5

Jessica, I just had a chance to check out your diary for the first time in a while and I just wanted to let you know that I think your treatments #3 and #4 were effective because the areas looked like they’re supposed to after effective treatments with redness around the follicles. So, definitely stick with the treatments. I would use settings of 16 joules at 18mm and up on your skin type since you’re so light and you should get great results in about 3-4 more treatments, even though you are already seeing results. It’s unfortunate that they only used 10 joules on your first 2 treatments.

#6

Nice post and I know exactly what you mean! But it’s still not that easy. For the past 2 years I’ve been searching for a female friend going through the same, still no luck. It’s one thing to know others are out there, but a completely different thing to actually luck up on someone going through the same, who you two can be each others support so you don’t feel all alone, and can have at least one person you can relax around, knowing you suffer from the same thing.

On another board, they mention things like seeking professional help… I don’t believe in so-called psychologist, counselors etc. No offense if anyone on here is one, but to me they’re no help. They seem more like psychics getting money for nothing, except they have a degree. All I’ve ever seen them do was, just listen as ‘you’ do all the talking, then tell you something basic like don’t worry and you have to get over this, then send you on your way. A huge waste of money, and never understood why folks would spend hundreds to thousands on them, when your friends usually are giving WAY better advice, with more feeling.

Ugh, just saying in cases like this, all needed is a real time friend, going through the same, so you feel more comfortable going places, dating, fulfilling goals without worrying about what others think or how you feel about your problem, because you know you have someone to fall back on when times get tough, someone who can understand exactly what you’re going through.

Thanks for your post, knowing you got married and all was very nice to hear! But never knew with so many women going through the same, that it would be so hard making a friendship connection. Don’t know if you still get on here or not, but if so, do you know of any boards where there are hairy females seeking a real friendship, for this is what I need. I tried on here, but seems the same as the other board I was on, I’m still alone. So if you know of any other board, could you please be so kind to let me know so I can hopefully find what I’m seeking. Thanks a lot!