my situation

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#1

hi everyone, im 21, male
growing up my body hair was normal, that is until i shaved my arms and legs when i was about 11, dont ask me why i saw my mums rasor in the bathroom saw my arms and thought, huh?, i was very naive and innocent.
The result however has left me with low self-esteem an now i cant even wear shorts, why?, well see since then i have never touched my arm (though i do notice the odd thick hair as a result of shaving them )nor any other parts, except my legs, during high school everyone would say i looked like a 30 year old man, because of my hairy legs, it didn’t bother me, but than one day visiting family, i was wearing shorts and my mother proudly mentioned to my aunty, “look at my sons legs”
“hairy huh” and my aunty straight away pointed out that at some stage in my life i must have shaved them, see until that i hadnt remembered about what i did at age 11 or so.
I think she said that because my leg hairs didnt look natural, too dark and think, still they didnt look that bad…
but then by the end of high school i shaved them again, being the smart guy that i am, that didnt improve things, it made it worse, so then i waxed them, and worse again and now 21 i’m having to trim my leg hairs to make them look some what presentable, but im NOT happy, the effect of all that shaving and waxing has made them look really dark and thick, they even grow in threes (does this happen to any one by the way???)…
i think body hair looks good only if it looks under control, unlike my leg hairs, i like to think of body hair, my body hair anyways, like grass, see its nice to see thin normal looking grass, but then weeds will start to overwhelm them and looks ugly, and the more you mowe the lawn the more weeds grow, i truely belive that thats what happened to me i’ve teased by shaving and waxing and theres no going back now for my leg hairs…for now anyways…
thanks for taking the time, i would love to see what you lovely people think, and i need advise please.
thank you

Alan.

#2

I think your aunty and mom (God bless them) are ill-informed about what causes one to have more active hair follicles than others. Shaving at anytime in your life is not the reason. You did nothing wrong. Your decision to shave was a natural one. Maybe one of them passed on this genetic charactaristic to you for having an excessive amount of hair?? And how can you ever thank your mother enough for pointing out your hairy legs to your aunty? Work hard to brush that episode of your life away. Maybe you can forgive them and move ahead.

Three hairs growing almost as one is common on certain areas of the body, so don’t think of yourself as being strange. I agree with you about controlled body hair; it’s something that millions of people want.

How old are you? Do you live in the United States?

Are you having thoughts of doing a combination of electrolysis and laser? Both can thin the hair out, but you need perserverance and money. OR… you can do trimming as a temporary method OR… you can accept yourself as you are. People are still going to love and care about you.

Dee

#3

hello Alan,

i dont want to seem insensitive, but i never understood why men had such a big problem with hair. its NATURAL for them to be hairy and hairier then women.

I never saw a man and went ewww, he’s hairy. i never gave it one thought cause its natural, and you are supposed to be hairy. i dont find it disgusting and i dont understand why other women find it disgusting.

hair on your legs, chest, back, whatever its all normal.

i am a young girl with 3 brothers. My dad is probably considered more hairy than the average man (if there is such a measure), that his chest hair comes out of his shirt on top near his neck. he goes swimming in his shorts and doesnt care and we never care. its all just normal to me.

my younger brother trims his hair and is so self conscience about his legs, chest and back hair. he’s even asked me to trim his back hair for him few times. the hair there never ever grossed me out, i never even notice. but he hates it and i tried to tell him, he looks fine and that its normal and us girls dont care about that. he wont go swimming unless he’s shaven.

see two males in my family, with two different concept of hair issues. my dad is a very confident man, successful in his career and has many loving friends. mybrother is a 20 year old university student, not so confident. a very handsome and fit guy.

so i guess confidence had alot to do with it.

so please just be proud of yourself and know that its your personality that us girls notice and not the hair. If there is a girl that focus on your hair problem, then she is shallow and not worth being with anyway.

#4

Ahhh, no. I don’t believe this for a second. Girls may not mind a guy to have some hair on his chest and stomach, but 99% of all women find hair on shoulders, upper arms, and back repulsive, bottom line , that is all there is too it. Life isn’t fair, and it’s not supposed to be. I have never met a woman below 30 that has EVER said I like hairy guys, and never heard a woman say she likes hairy backs. I’ve lost three relationships because of my body hair. A good looking woman is not going to stay with a guy once she finds out he has a cloak of back hair, and a cloak of hair on his shoulders. That is what I’ve found. Sure, they don’t tell you that is the reason they broke up with you. They sure do tell their friends though. Like I said, life isn’t fair. IN fact, nobody but 3 people know of my body hair problem. I don’t take my shirt off ever or get intimate with a girly unless I’ve recently had a TEMPORARY clearance from laser. I refuse to show weakness.

The worst part of being hairy is it’s hard to set that expectation. If you are overweight, everybody knows it. If you aren’t good looking, everybody knows it. When you are hairy, no girl knows that you have more hair that 99.9% of all guys on your shoulders and upper arms. So when it gets down to it, when it’s gettin’ that time, once she feels the gross and repulsiveness of it, it’s all over. At least when you are overweight, whatever girl you are talking to realizes that, and knows about it. I’m about to just go start talking to girls and go, My name is Charles, and I have my hair on my shoulders than a gorilla, do you still want to talk to me.

What I’ve never understood, is why women get bent out of shape for their hair. At least most women can shave and not get crazy ingrowns most of the time. It is IMPOSSIBLE for me to shave my shoulders and upper arms without getting ingrowns that last for 4 weeks. Impossible. I tell you what, I know countless guys who can shave and be completely fine. I marvel at that. If I could do that, I wouldn’t even care about electrolysis, I’d just spend 30 minutes a day shaving. It’d be a pain in the ass, but who cares, at least I wouldn’t be a freaking warewolf.

#5

How’s the area looking where you are having electrolysis after 11.5 hours, Chuck?

#6

Not as well as I’ve hoped, I mean I have no idea if I am achieving any sort of permanent reduction yet. Frankly, I will be pissed if I’m not getting permanent reduction and paying the type of money I am. It appears it’s going to take me about 70-80 hours to reach my first clearance, AT LEAST.

#7

Chuck, you said you didn’t know any woman under 30, who like hairy men - I do!

For me, hairy men are natural. My grandfather is the hairiest man I know. You can see the, now white, hair curl out from under the collar of his shirts. His entire back is covered in long white curls. His leg hair was still dark last time I saw it, which was probably more than 10 years ago. (Old men don’t wear shorts) It was just as thick as the hair on my head.

My brother also has a lot of hair. His wife loves it. (both of them are under 30) his wife is 25. He is thinking about laser hair removal on his face, but not because he wants less hair, but because it is painful to shave. I’ve never seen someone that has as much facial hair as my brother, you can imagine what the rest of his body is like. When he was in the military he HAD to shave twice a day. He remembers a few times during training where they made him shave 3 times in one day. (excessive mental abuse if you asked me.)

Anyways my point is there are young women who like hairy men. The only hair that I don’t like seeing on men is nose and ear hair. – so pluck that and leave the rest alone.

#8

chuck, I hope you’re taking pictures. It can be hard to tell when you’re making a dent if you have a lot of hair to begin with.

#9

I don’t have any really good pictures. I have some from my cell phone on “FIRST ELECTROLYSIS” in the pro electrolysis forum. I don’t have a camera, but I’m very up to date on the amount of hair I have, and had on each area. I watch it like a hawk.

O ya? When are we goin’ out then? haha :slight_smile:

That is horrible about them making your brother shave 3 times a day. I can’t even imagine. I would get infection if I had to do that. I can only shave with a blade 3 times a week max, and about 4 with electric. I had to bring a dr note to my job regarding shaving once as well, because they were always yell at me for not shaving. They didn’t believe me that I COULDN’T shave five days in a row.

#10

chuck, i am below the age of 30 and hair on men doesnt freak me out at all. I respect and appreciate the fact that they have more hair than us females and its just how it goes. Like i said before, my father and brothers have thick black hair all over their body and i never saw it as gross and i would NEVER drop a guy because of some hair issues he has. that is shallow i think, but hey i guess everyone is entitled to a certain comfort with the opposite sex. I personally want my man to be hairy, hairier than me at least!

so chuck, have hope and dont be too negative on yourself and konw that there are girls out there that care more about your heart and intellect than the hair on your shoulders and back.

:slight_smile:

#11

For the original poster: please research the causes of hair. Your hair would have been just the same if you didn’t shave at all. It’s been proven that shaving doesn’t change the hair at all. You just did all this at the time when you were at the age when you were developing more hair anyway. That’s how this old wife’s tale came about in the first place.

Hair on legs for a man is completely normal, even if it’s a “lot” by your standards. Trimming is a good option with a trimmer, of you can have a few laser treatments once you have the money to thin it out a bit.