My female facial hair story...

Hair Removal Methods Professional Electrolysis
#1

Hello :slight_smile:

I am so happy I came across these forums as, up until now, I have literally had no one to talk to about my facial hair as it’s been too humiliating for me. I once mustered up the courage to tell a doctor about it and was practically laughed out of the surgery with the words ‘what do you expect me to do about it, go see someone else, I’m not here for that kind of thing’ ringing in my ears.

That visit scarred me, and since then I haven’t uttered a word about it to anyone. Until now! I feel like I just need to tell someone my story. It’s nothing special, but y’know when you’ve kept something bottled up for so long that you just need to tell ANYONE?

I remember the very first time I ever shaved my face and in hindsight it was the most devastating decision I have ever made in my entire life. I was about 14 years old and I was in my mum and dad’s bathroom and I saw my dad’s razor at the sink. I’d only recently just started shaving my legs etc and was ecstatic that it was so quick and easy to remove the hair. I’d always been aware that I had a bit of hair on my face - not much, and it was fairly light apart from the odd areas but I thought it’d be a great idea just to shave it and it’d be gone! So I did, and the result was amazing. Until a couple of days later that is… The hair started to grow back, and obviously as I’d shaved it the hair grew back more stubbly than before. So I had to shave it again, and this made things even worse. I hadn’t known that by shaving just that once I would actually ruin the rest of my life.

In high school it wasn’t too bad - I got one or two comments from a friend who noticed that I seemed to have a bit of stubble every so often, which was mortifying, but I fobbed off her questions. Then when I went to University a girl I lived with asked me outright ‘do you shave your face?’ and I was so taken aback by her bluntness that I just said yes! Since then she made my life hell - she would make jokes constantly, ridicule me, tell others and make really embarrassing comments in public. I spent my life constantly on edge, just waiting for her next ‘bearded woman’ joke. I finally moved in with new people, but unfortunately the same thing happened again. One girl, who was supposedly my best friend, found out and kept making references to facial hair. All the while, my skin was just getting worse and worse. I got shaving rashes, stubble and spots. I looked awful without foundation on, so I would never go without makeup anywhere - even when I went to bed with my boyfriend I would cover myself in foundation before I went to sleep. But the foundation didn’t help that much and I would still get the dreaded 5 o’clock shadow and hundreds of tiny raised bumps where the hair was cut off. It was obvious I shaved.

My boyfriend made a joke about it once, and I thought my life was over. I didn’t realise he’d noticed it! He never said anything about it again in the 2 years I was with him, but I noticed he would never touch my face (I appreciated this, as I had told him ages ago that I didn’t like people touching my face and he obviously remembered me saying that and put two and two together). Then when we split up I didn’t know what to do - I thought no one would ever love me again because I was so hideous. I started having one night stands all the time, it was a way of getting the attention I craved, but also a way of not having to be in a relationship and have someone find out about my shaving. I turned into someone I hated, it wasn’t me, I was completely degrading myself on nights out all because I was so ashamed of myself and anyone getting close to me.

I finally met a guy who I really wanted to be with, he was my best friend and the best boyfriend I could’ve asked for. But I couldn’t bear to have him touch me at all in case he felt the stubble… but he assumed I was repulsed by him. I had to end it because I was hurting him so much by being so distant.

I then stopped attending my University course - by this point I couldn’t bear to leave the house. What if a stranger in the street noticed and made fun of me? I started to get in trouble with the University, I was missing too many classes and my work was suffering. All the time when I should’ve been getting an education I was under my covers in bed crying about how disgusting I felt. I started avoiding my friends and family, spending weeks on end just in my bedroom praying that no one came round to see me. My parents thought I was being lazy and lectured me, my friends thought I was being antisocial and started to ignore me and I stopped wanting attention from guys. So I had nobody. I couldn’t talk to anyone because I was so embarrassed about it. I then decided to get a pair of tweezers and pluck every single hair out of my face. I know a lot of people do this, but I have a full face of hair, just like a man. So it took me an entire day to pluck one side of my face. I eventually plucked the whole lot after a week. Then I realised I hadn’t left my room and had barely eaten for that entire week. But the plucking had started and I couldn’t stop - I then spent every single day for a year in my room plucking the hair out, knowing that new hair would grow in by the next day.

It was at this point I went to see the doctor and was told it wasn’t his problem. About a year later I went to another doctor and she was lovely. I tried pills and creams, but nothing worked. She also diagnosed me with Agoraphobia and severe anxiety, caused by the hair. I’ve been so frustrated that I’ve used scissors to cut at the skin on my face to get rid of hairs, I’ve practically stabbed myself with the tweezers every day, ripped my skin raw with razors trying to get rid of every hair. I’ve even had the lowest days when I’ve thought that I’d rather be dead than have as much facial hair as I do. I know that’s a silly thing to think, but on those days it seems like the best option.

I was checked for PCOS, but that was negative. There is no medical issue causing the hair at all, meaning I can’t get laser free on the NHS here, as it’s considered a purely cosmetic procedure in my case. I’m glad I never saved up for laser though as, after researching that and electrolysis, I realised laser wouldn’t give me the results I needed whereas electrolysis would.

I finally decided enough was enough and booked an appointment with an electrologist. It’s on Tuesday and I can’t wait, despite being incredibly nervous! As I have just graduated from Uni (yes, I managed to get a good degree despite all the issues with attendance! :smiley: ) I have a lot of debt and no money. I’m back living with my parents and the small amount of money I do get is going to have to go on the electrolysis, meaning I’m going to continue being in debt, can’t move back out of my parents house and won’t have any money for necessities, but I see this as a small price to pay for getting my life back.

Sorry that what I’ve written is so long! I just HAD to tell someone. It feels a lot better now that I’ve just been honest about everything, even if no one reads it haha :stuck_out_tongue:

Thank you if you read this far :slight_smile:

p.s if anyone could give me any advice about electrolysis it’d be much appreciated! I love hearing first hand from people who have gone through it!

#2

You are very, very brave.

Your story reflects what thousands (maybe millions) of women around the world suffer and cry through on a daily basis. The slow progression of first observing the new hair coming forth, the first attempts to do something about it, the friends noticing the hair, the fear of intimacy with boyfriends, the shunning away from people, the hours spent picking and pulling and damaging your skin and finally, the first step to permanently rid yourself of the beastly hair are all too familiar with this Hairtell community.

Many tell us that they have no money for electrolysis. This very real fact can lead to exasperation and then failure. You have to be creative in your attempts to pay for this. Two jobs? Borrowing from a relative or good friend and then paying them back over time? Keep close to your end goal of eliminating the hair and be very disciplined not to waiver and give up too soon.

There are consumers here on Hairtell, who live in the UK that can guide you through the hardest part - finding an electrologist that can meet your needs. Choose well and you will find success.

Would you be amenable to submitting some discreet pictures of your problem?

Good luck to you and special mommy hugs to you, Paradise.

#3

Hi Paradise,

The best advice I feel I can give you is, “Do not be desperate”.

You know very well the outcomes of being desperate to get rid of the hair - the damage on your skin from shaving, cutting, tweezing. Now you have come to something that can give you permanent results and regain your skin condition. But you need to proceed with caution and find someone who has the skill, experience and equipment to deal with female facial hair.

Electrolysis is wonderful - see my sister’s diary linked in my signature for an example of facial electrolysis. But it’s wonderful in the right hands. Electrologist skill is everything. After everything you have been through already you don’t want to waste or money or time or put your skin at risk.

Learn about electrolysis from these forums so that you understand the process and what to look for in an electrologist. Have a number of consultations and sample treatments - you will never know if the electrologist has good insertions and actually treats the follicle as opposed to just plucking the hairs if you do not have a sample treatment.

Unfortunately electrolysis has a lot of issues, I’d say especially in the UK. You may come across practitioners who do just pluck or undertreat hairs. Or others who just do not respect the skin at all and overtreat or do sessions longer than the area can handle with their chosen set-up. Yes… the many of the electrologists posting on HairTell are equipped to do long-ish sessions on an upper lip and safely but here in the UK very, very few practitioners have anything like that set-up, so it’s a matter of going slow and steady.

Good Luck… you might find reporting back helps.

#4

Dear Paradise

Thank you for sharing your story. Many other women and men have experienced similar suffering, do not despair you have made a very good first step by seeking help on this forum. There are many passionate professionals and people who have been in your situation who will help guide you through this process.

Best of luck with your journey, you will emerge on the other side with a renewed self confidence and self love.

#5

Thank you for your response, Dee :slight_smile:

That’s the great thing about these forums - the sense of community and the knowledge that you’re not alone and that there are so many people out there who can help or who are in the same sort of situation as you.

Two jobs is something that I really will have to consider if I’m determined to start this electrolysis journey. I don’t want to begin then start missing appointments etc due to low funds (as I’ve gathered from my research that missing appointments is a huge hindrance on results!) Borrowing could also be an option if I could find someone to confide in about my hair issues. I’m sure if I was borrowing a significant amount of money the other person would want/need to know the reason, so I’d feel I had to be honest. But at the moment there’s no one I’m comfortable telling :confused:

But, like you said, I have to keep close to the end goal. I’ve gone over and over it in my head, the cost, the embarrassment, the hassle… and I’ve come close to cancelling my first appointment! But then I think about how much better my life will be at the end of all this and it keeps me going :slight_smile:

Here are some photos (taken on my phone, so they are not the greatest quality!) but they show to an extent the way my facial hair looks.

These photos are taken after 8 years shaving then 1 year excessive plucking with shaving in between. After reading around, I realised the plucking wasn’t doing me any favours, so I stopped roughly 3 weeks ago and have either let the hair grow (and not left the house) or shaved during that time. These pictures were taken today and the last time I shaved was on Friday (2 days ago).

[images removed per user request]

Sorry for the awful quality!!

#6

stoppit&tidyup - thank you so much for directing me to your sister’s diary, it has been a great help! I’m now a lot more aware of the possible outcomes :slight_smile: And she looks fantastic!

I’ve been doing a lot of research on good electrologists in my area (a very small area, so it has been difficult finding anyone!), however I did come across one lady who is very close to where I live and is also a member of the BIAE, which made me feel more at ease. I’ll update here after my initial consultation/first treament! :slight_smile:

#7

Thank you, electrolysislady :slight_smile:

It really helps knowing I’m not alone, so I am so glad I stumbled across this forum! :slight_smile: Everyone has been so supportive which has made this whole journey that bit easier :slight_smile:

#8

Oh, also I have a few questions (which I am sure will be answered when I go for treatment, however I’d like to ask here too)…

The type of hair on my face isn’t easily disguised as it’s stubbly, therefore I can’t face going anywhere unless I have shaved and I am wearing makeup. How long after treatment will I be able to shave and wear makeup?

Also, I can’t confide in my family about all this (even though I know they’d help me, I just can’t face telling them), and as I live with them I am concerned that they will notice any after-effects of the electrolysis. Are the effects really noticeable? I know everyone will be different of course, but generally can they easily be disguised?

And (again I know that everyone will be different and that there’s no way to tell for sure) but is anyone able to tell me roughly how long you think it would take (based on my pictures) to get to first clearance? I’m not going to try and get predictions as to when I’ll be completely hair-free permanently as I know it’s impossible to tell for certain (although if anyone would like to make a prediction I don’t mind! :stuck_out_tongue: ) but I feel like the first clearance stage will be a big milestone so it would be nice to know roughly when to expect it (if possible)

#9

Dear Paradise,

as a fellow sufferer I feel for you more than I can say. The way people have treated you about this is horrible and says more about them than it does about you. Please rest assured, what goes around comes around.

The good news, as you’ve already gathered, there is a solution for your problem and its name is electrolysis!

The bad news is, you’ll have to find a competent electrologist first, and depending on your location that might require quite a bit of travel.

I totally understand your shame but, once you start this journey, you’ll be surprised at how quickly this will go away. After hiding for years I suddenly started telling people right and left, whether they wanted to know or not!

With a good electrologist it doesn’t really matter if you are able to afford regular appointments or not, all the hair will eventually be destroyed anyway, but regular clearances help psychologically.

Have you checked this thread too? Particularly the pictures of the first and last post?

http://www.hairtell.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/95237/1.html

#10

Thanks so much for the pictures. They are clear enough to see your problem.

When was the last time you had a hirsutism work up? This is a very key element that needs to be included in your plan to become hair-free. Also, examine the foods you eat. Are you insulin resistant? If you are over weight, gradually bring down your weight, like a pound a week.

You have a lot of coarse hair, especially on your neck area. The ball of your chin
appears to have less hair, but are you tweezing this area?

I would guesstimate it would take about 8 -10 hours to clear the hair from your neck, sides and chin. Once it is cleared, then you would need to maintain that clearance every three weeks. This is what I could do if I were using my chosen modality, which would be one of the three thermolysis modes that I like on my Apilus Platinum. I would choose to use a Laurier IBP probe, the largest size possible. A Ballet Gold probe would work as well, a 5 or 6. I would want you on the table for at least 3 or 4 hours at a time.

I am telling you my personal specifics because you will see that there are different strategies to tackling a problem like yours. Getting a first, full clearance is a big psychological boost and it is my observation that this what women like you need. Other electrologists may have a different plan that will get you to your goal.

Check out as many practitioners as you can and see what suits your needs the best. Do your research and you will feel more in control of your life.

#11

Dear Paradise,
heart breaking to read your post, you are telling the story of many other sufferers, and will be helping so many that suffer in silence.
The electrologist is often the first person a client discusses her/his problem with, even making the first phone call can be difficult. However you are on the right track, ideally if you can have a couple of long sessions this will help. But cost and circumstances can be an obstacle. Find a skilled experienced electrologist is your number one priority. Then you can work out a treatment plan you can manage which might just be 15/30 minutes a week, hopefully longer.
As Dee said maybe get some blood work done, see if you are insulin resistant, don’t ask your Gp for this it needs to be specialised, get a referral to a endocrinologist.

#12

Hi paradise where abouts in the UK are you located? roughly, no postcodes. Feel free to PM me I may be able to help you if you’re not too far away…

#13

How did your appointment go Paradise?

#14

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven’t had a chance to respond properly to everyone yet! I’m currently using my phone to type this, which is a nightmare, so I’ll keep this short for now!

I went for my first electrolysis session on Tuesday. Instantly, my fears were put to rest - the salon looked incredibly professional, immaculate and very hygienic. My electrologist was a nice woman who I think has been ridding women of unwanted hair for about 25 years, so she has obviously seen it all before! I was still really nervous about showing her my face though. Then I became even more embarrassed when we established she was actually one of my mum’s friends, but she was very professional and assured discretion, as I haven’t spoken to my mum about my problem. Anyway, she gave me a concise run down of electrolysis, it was all things I’d heard before through research, but it was good to know that what she was telling me was the same as what I’d read and heard from reliable sources. I was very surprised when she began - I’d been expecting a huge amount of pain, but I couldn’t feel a thing. I did feel a bit of resistance on the first few hairs, which she also pointed out herself, and I think she turned the machine up (I don’t know what she turned up haha, the heat?). After that there was no more resistance at all, I literally didn’t feel a single hair being taken out (to the point where I was actually worried that she hadn’t even taken any out!!) On a few hairs I could feel the heat - it was very intense, but I’ve discovered my pain threshold must be quite high, because I dealt with it perfectly fine. For the majority of the area she worked on though I barely felt the heat at all apart from in the slightly more sensitive areas. Is this normal to barely feel anything?

We did 45 mins. I was slightly disappointed that a bigger area wasnt done, but then again I do have very dense areas of hair, which I understand would probably take time. It was a bit red, which I’d been expecting, and my electrologist put on some aloe vera and put a tiny bit of mineral foundation on top to cover the redness as I was going out in public, which I appreciated, as I am never seen without my makeup! I took it off gently when I got home though, just to keep the area as clean as possible.

The redness went away a couple of hours later, and it has now been almost a week since my appointment and I have literally not had any other reaction to the electrolysis. I’m confused! Grateful, but confused! I assumed I’d have an awful reaction as I always thought I had sensitive skin, but perhaps not. Could this be because my hair follicles are already used to a lot of trauma because of the plucking and they handled the electrolysis well? I genuinely believe that the lack of adverse reaction is because of the skill of my electrologist (I have put my trust in her completely) but is there any reason for concern? Was the current strong enough etc? No new hair has grown in the area since, all that’s left are the few lighter hairs she didn’t get at the time. I thought hair would’ve grown in by now as my hair seemed to grow at a ridiculously fast rate before, but could that just have been due to the plucking? Will it appear to grow slower more that I’ve stopped plucking?

Next appointment is this Tuesday, as I couldn’t make any other day last week. I’m booked in for an hour and I’m hoping that we can work on the top of right side burn as that really bothers me!

#15

Follizap, I’m located roughly in north east Scotland (I think… my geography is terrible!!)

#16

Also, I have asked for my pictures to be removed for the time being, just because I felt slightly uncomfortable with them being on the internet - however I will definitely post pictures in the future of before/after shots when I’m feeling more ready :slight_smile: maybe once more hair is removed I won’t feel as self conscious about having my pictures up :slight_smile:

#17

It all sounds good.

I remember your photos and I can understand why 45 mins may not have made much visible progress. Go as long and as often as you can.

As long as the hairs are sliding out without any resistance, there is no reason to believe that there is anything wrong. Everyone reacts differently. Redness and swelling is the minimum expected. When you have longer sessions, you may find you get bit more of a reaction but that is also normal.

All the follicles you had treated, in the ideal situation will never produce a hair again. If they do, it will be later on down the road. So any hairs that you see appear from that area in the next few weeks are from different follicles (ones that did not have a visible hair in them at the time of treatment). So yes, as you begin to clear the hairs with electrolysis, you should find “regrowth” improves because follicles are being killed.

#18

Good luck with treatment paradise. You must have a very high tolerance if you’re not feeling much, good for you.

#19

Went for my second treatment yesterday! And by God, did I feel it!! This time round was much more uncomfortable than the first session, but I just gritted my teeth and breathed through the pain! We just worked around the same area as last time (I’ll upload pictures the next time I’m at a computer). I felt a lot of resistance from some of the hairs this time, but my electrologist was reluctant to turn the machine up, as I have sensitive skin… But considering the lack of reaction I’m getting she might turn it up next time? I can see this is going to be a ridiculously long process - I’d say about 10% of my face has been worked on, and the area hasn’t been cleared yet, it’s not smooth to the touch and there are still a fair amount of visible hairs. In my unprofessional opinion, based on the rate and results so far, I’d estimate that I’m going to need about 16 hours for a full clearance, which is a bit upsetting but I just need to learn to be patient.

I told my electrologist that I’d had no reaction after the first time, which she was pleased about, but she warned me to expect more of a reaction this time as we were working around the same area. So far so good though, 24 hours later and my skin is absolutely fine (touch wood!!).

I was in for an hour this time, so I’ve now done 1 hour 45 mins.

Next appointment is next Tuesday, for 1hr 15mins. I tried to book 2hrs, but my electrologist didn’t have time.

#20

Here are a few pictures of my progress so far. It’s going slowly, but despite being impatient I am happy with the results.

Week 1 - 45 mins

Week 2 - 1 hour

Week 3 - 1 hour 15 mins

(this one was taken immediately after my treatment today)

So all in all I’ve only done 3 hours, as money has been tight. Next week I’ve booked in for a 2 hour session and I’m looking forward to seeing the difference after that :slight_smile: