My 30 year old secret never told

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I have never told anyone what I am about to post here.

When I was about 7 years old I started getting dark hair on my upper lip. By the time I was in 5th grade I was getting teased. The pain I have from my childhood is so deep i almost find it too difficult to type to strangers. I am crying as i type this. Crying has been a way of life for me so i am use to it. I would come home crying from school almost everyday. My mother use to bleach and remove her hair from her lip so she started to do the same for me with her stupid Sally Hansen kits. It would blister my lip. I would have to go to school with looking worse than before. Nothing worked. When I was about 13 she took me to a hormone specialist that told me I was perfectly fine and that it was genetics. I remember going to have electrolysis- it hurt so bad and my parents couldn’t afford to continue the treatments. I started getting interested in boys but I felt like none of them would like me. What teenage boy wants to date a girl that could grow a mustache better than they could? The older I got the less i would get teased but i was alway sure that everyone would still remember me as the girl with the mustache. At 16 i did the unthinkable. I took my electric shaver and placed it up to my lip. Within a few months I started using a razor. After high school i finally got a boyfriend. I was alway afraid he would see it or feel the grow out. One day he was joking around and mentioned that I should do something with my Hitler mustache…my heart sank. He knew and he said it out loud. That was the last time i had a boyfriend. As the years have passed by the my shadow had gotten darker and darker. About the age of 28 i started getting chin hairs. I plucked. I would not dare to start shaving my neck and chin. About 3 years ago I notice that no matter what i do i will alway have dark hair on my lip and it is obvious to people that I shave. I can tell as people look at my lip and chin when i talk. Just gazing long enough during conversations that i feel so uncomfortable. It’s ruined my life. I feel like nothing i do can make it go away. Throughout my life i have gained a ton of weight and also taken up all sorts of addictions. I don’t feel like i will ever be able to live the normal life of a women because i am burned by what people see on my face. What they might know about me. I have a curse that god gave me. I fear that i could not ever go to the hospital to have a child because I would not be able to make it to the shower to shave. Even if i did have children heaven forbid i pass it on to a daughter. It’s like I am just waiting to die. I even had thoughts that if i got cancer the chemo would help the hair on my face fall out. I also have had thought of cutting the skin on my lip just deep enough so the hair never grew back. I am obsessed with uncovering some sort of truth about me. Was I born a hermaphrodite? did my parents chose me to be a girl. Is there a big secrect that my parents kept from me? Should i join the circus as the bearded lady? I feel like i am consititaly searching for the answer. It make me question my own sexuality. I am pretty sure I am a women- I have all the parts-but normal women don’t live with this. I don’t even look in the mirror anymore because i know i will only see the mustache and the beard. I feel like that is all anyone really ever sees when they look at me. I have spent years in therepy but never really had the gut to tell my theripist face to face that my really problem wasn’t the drugs or the gambling it was the hair on my lip. I know that sounds stupid.

I have known about laser hair removal for along time now and even went to a few consultations went it first came out. But i am worried that it wont work for me. I am worried that it will make it worse. I will get scars from the treatments.

I am almost sure I am the perfect candidate but the emotional scars i have have almost made it impossible for me to take the the biggest steps. I am a quarter Italian, quarter Hungarian (from my fathers side) and 1/2 mut from my mother. My skin is very pale. I almost look green sometimes. I don’t even know where to start but i have saved up $1500. dollars and need to know what to do next. I want a life i have always fantized about. What should i do next. Please someone tell me. I have looked at some of the postings and I don’t know crap about the industry. Do you think this is the answer i have been waiting for all my life?

#2

Hi:

I would seriously consider electrolysis rather than laser for your upper lip. There are many women with problems similar to yours.

It worked well on me, and I have a very clear and smooth upper lip now with no hair regrowth.If it is bothering you that much then you should do something to relieve that distress.

Alicia

#3

We welcome you to hairtell, roe. I agree with Alicia that electrolysis would end your problem amd you will have about $1,000 left over to spend on other things when all is said and done!

You don’t have your location listed on your profile, so, it is not posssible to advise you where to go for some consultations.

You will look done after you reach the first clearance, which usually takes no more than 1.5 hours. No one should ever work on your upper lip for more than 20-30 minutes at one time, so we are talking in general terms, that you may need to go for three or four appointments to get the offending off so you look like no hair was there. This would take about a month or less. Then you have to go back and get the new weak hair that comes to the surface about every 2-3 weeks. The appointments spread out to every 4-6 weks eventually until you are finished in about 9-12 months. If you are not going consistently, you will extend your total treatment time, so stay loyal to a good schedule and you will win.

So where are you located? Let’s see if we can get you on your way to a permanent solution.

Dee

#4

Dear roemaymoe,

There are so many who live under the burden of the hair shadow. Most electrologists are actually former electrolysis clients; many of whom can relate to your situation.

If you give us a clue as to where you are located, and we aren’t asking for your address, we could contact our colleagues and let them know that you are seeking relief from the misery that unwanted hair has brought you.

If you are located near me, I will help you.
If you prefer to continue a private dialogue, email me:
electrolysis@juno.com

#5

HEj…
WELCOME TO CLUB… There are many of us suffering from lack of self estem bacause of unwanted hair. U ARE NOT ALONE. That is for sure.
I promissed myself as soon as i will have money to afford laser hair removal… i would try it. I have been suffering for more than 10 years now… and now, just recently i started with laser… hOping to get some results.
I suggest u to start ur battle.
Maybe u shoudl visit a doctor as well, just to make sure that it is not hormons causing it. double check.
Keep us posted on how it goes. Wish u luck.
and again, u are not the only one feeling this way…

#6

I am in Seattle area.

I know I am not alone but when you carry a secret so deep inside and hide it and do everything in your life to avoid the truth with people you feel alone. I know that just getting this out is somewhat freeing. Last night after I started thinking about what I had posted I started freaking out. I never really put it down on paper. I have always kept a journal but never felt I could really tell my secret in that because someone might find it.

My therapist use to constantly be looking for the thing that messed me up. I think she suspected sexual abuse as a child but i am 100% sure it was never that. She use to say that I have all the traits of an abused child. Has anyone ever heard of that before? Do you think that the emotional scars are so deep they are comparable to a abused child?

Why would electrolysis be better than laser? I have a hard time trusting people. Is this a sight Electrologist and Dermatologist use to find customers?

#7

Poster Aliciadarling is not an electrologist or a dermatologist and she advised you well because she has been through it and knows what she’s talking about. The upper lip is a small area and electrolysis will work on all the different hair colors on your lip and all thicknesses of hair, something laser can’t offer. I actually recommend laser to clients when it is appropriate, and educate them about what laser hair removal can possibly do for them. Sometimes, using both modalities are optimal.

This is a consumer website about hair removal. The electrologists that post here, including myself, are not trying to get business. Personally speaking, I have more than I can handle in my own locale and I’m not looking to work harder than I already am, which is seven days a week. I never solicit anyone here and never will. Giving advise to consumers in Seattle, Europe and India gets me nothing monetarily because I live in Ohio. Same goes for Barabra CPE Arlene and James. We are just trying to help people like yourself figure out what is the best approach to take for their unwanted hair problem. We are trying to be helpful so you don’t get ripped off. Getting ripped off by taking the wrong approach will only cause more emotional turmoil and you don’t need that,do you?.

For those that are hell bent on the laser approach when it is not advised, then I say full spend ahead if that is your desire. If it works for you, fine. If it doesn’t, just remember good old steady friend electrolysis stands ready to pick up the pieces. It will just cost you more to do both, so save some extra money.

Can you please put Seattle in your profile. Whether you decide on laser or electrolysis, maybe a consumer will recommend some one good, that way you may trust the advise given a little more.

Take care,

Dee

#8

You said it Dee!

My ENTIRE August was pre-booked in July! I am looking forward to the AEA Convention in November just to have a vacation.

People like you and I can’t really take much more, and how many people on this board are ever going to be in the same city we are?

#9

Roemaymoe,

My heart goes out to you. I hope you will start looking for an electrologist in your city. These contributers have given you good information and have good intentions for you. My city used to be the site of one of the top psychiatric hospitals in the world. Menningers is gone now, but for many years I had clients who were patients and physicians of the hospital, and it was very common that these clients had the same feelings as you have about their hair problem.

One client (a psychiatrist) told me that in a staff meeting, one of the other doctors mentioned that a patient came in whose upper lip was a little red and irritated. He’d asked why, and the patient was embarrased but told him that she’d just had an electrology treatment. My client told me that she covered her own face with her hand during that discussion, and that the staff consensus was that the therapist should not have asked about the reddened skin. My comment to my client was that some of self esteem issues arise from the hair being there, so why couldn’t it be addressed?

Most of the electrologists here have had clients who feel just like you do. These clients have developed a sense of self consciousness that centers around the hair problem. You can get rid of that problem. Getting rid of that problem will be the first steps to getting the life you want.

It would not hurt anything to get a complete physical. Talk to the doctor about all the concerns you have - a good physician will take your feelings into consideration. Let us know how all that goes. We’re kind of like the most free support group you will ever find. The “payment” for us is to see you feel better.

#10

The answer is electrolysis.

Not sure why you didn’t continue on with the treatments. You would have been hair free a long time ago. Also, seems like you only really have some work to do on the upper lip and chin. That shouldn’t take very long at all. If you’re concerned about the pain there are topical creams out there (along with ibuprofen) that can take care of that. The answers are there for you, you just need the courage to take that first step. I know it’s difficult, but you MUST do it. Also, do your research (this site is amazing), I’m sure there are many good electrologists in your area. The money you have saved is MORE than enough to cover the costs.

Lastly, this is optional, but I’d also look into seeing a psychiatrist. It would be a good medium for you to share your feelings and let everything out. Also, you can always use this site to lean on whenever you want.

please, take that first step!

Good luck!

#11

As everyone else pointed out, for facial hair, electrolysis is best. Laser is better for other body areas where the hair is coarse and dark.

In terms of your problem, you may have PCOS. please look it up online and see if any of the symptoms make sense to you. I know you said you had it checked out a long time ago, but things have changed and technology is much better to determine these things. this is one of those conditions that is easily missed. You should look for an experienced endocrinologist who knows a lot about hormonal issues.

there are solutions to your problem. there are many people on this forum in the same shoes as you. take your time to read through the posts here and you will be on your way. run a search for recommended electrologists in your area.