is it really that ugly???

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I’ve struggled with excessive body hair from probably the age of 12-13. I’m Indian, with very dark and and very coarse hair but my skin is quite light coloured, so the contrast is huge. :frowning: I do some form of hair removal to most parts of my body but have decided that on others, I’m just not going to bother. Others being: my cheeks, chest, back, stomach, buttocks, etc. Probably, I do need it but I find it hard and time consuming enough to get rid of the hair on other parts of my body.

Anyway, the thing I’ve been wondering is, do most people find excessive hair actually that ugly? (I mean on others, not on our ourselves). I was always convinced that most people would find it revolting, which is why I try hard to remove it or hide myself.

The strange thing is, I don’t find it ugly on others. I mean it isn’t something I’d bother much about or I wouldn’t think anyone less attractive because they are hairy. I always thought though that I’m extremely tolerant. :smiley: But maybe more people feel that way too? Maybe, I’m just being paranoid and hyper sensitive? (can you tell that I’m begging to hear a big, fat YES to this question?? :smiley: )

Thinking back, actually very few people have told me that they find excessive hair ugly. I got teased quite a bit in school but those kids teased anyone about anything they could pick on, as in acne or for being fat, etc, not just hair. No one ever mentioned it again later but I just thought that grown-ups are more polite but are probably thinking silently how disgusting I look with all my hair.

It was never an issue with any boyfriend either. I did try to hide my hairiness from them, but of course couldn’t completely. But no one ever mentioned it or seemed put off by it. My husband now, doesn’t seem to care at all. When I ask him he tells me it’s not an issue. He actually even tries to encourage me to go swimming even when my hair is fully grown and a few cm long. I don’t do it of course but it’s nice to know that he doesn’t think it’s freaky. I’m looking at permanent hair removal options now and he encourages that but only because it would make ME happier and feel more confident.

Phew, sorry for the long post. I’m really just trying to clear my head. My question I guess is, if all of this is just wishful thinking? Have I been extremely lucky to have kind and considerate people in my life or could it actually be true that many people might not find excessive hair that ugly after all.

#2

Beauty might well be in the eye of the beholder. If excess body hair is your only setback then, really with all the proven technology available, its not a problem at all.

Its so easy to remove them now, with easy repayment plans, proven technology, eay access to clinics and information. And why stop there? There are a great range of diet and fitness programs, skin rejuvination treatments, powerful mindset techniques. Enough to transform a persons body and get them looking like an armani swim-suite model.

The source of our preconceptions about beauty and well-being?..

But I definately have a vivid picture of how I want to look and I know without any doubt that reaching that goal will result in a feeling of great accomplishment.

#3

I completely agree with two. The thing you have to understand is that what might seem “normal” to you might not be in the normal category to others. Excessive hair is a BIG issue in our society. It’s like hair is almost, “evil”. For most it might be a big turn off, but it’s something that can be dealt with greatly. Just think about all the technology. Electrolysis is the solution to permanent hair removal. There is laser hair removal for permanent hair reduction, and obviously, other techniques such as waxing and threading for short term hair removal. You certainly are not the ONLY hairy person in the world. There are so many hairy women out there that REALLY want to get rid of those hairs! Your husband accepts you for who you are. What more do you want?? He sees beyond your “hairiness”. If you are seriously willing to get “true” hair removal, I would recommend electrolysis. It’s permanent, which means your hair are gone for good! Good luck!

#4

I just came across this post.

I agree with you. I don’t seem to find it particularly off putting. I think we have been conditioned to think it is. If I see a woman with upper lip hair, for example, I usually look at it and think how easy it would be to get removed with electrolysis. I don’t find it disgusting though. Same with arm hair, I’m not sure why I found it so disgusting on myself when seeing other women with the same amount didn’t make them less attractive.

I met my husband before I started any kind of permanent hair removal. It did not seem to bother him either. He was more concerned with the marks from the ingrown hairs. He would rather have hairy and blemish free skin than the other way around.

Everything I have done since then has been for myself and my confidence as I didn’t like the hair. I’m not sure why I can tolerate it on other people but not myself. :eek:

#5

Not really, usually! Depends on whether there’s a big difference between the hair and skin colour. I usually only pay attention to those with similar colouring to my own (mediterranean-type; fairish skin and dark hair). Within that group (thinking of both others and myself) I attend to it much less when there’s a bit of a tan and ‘goldening’ of the hair from sun. When people are fairer with fair hair, or darker with dark hair, that feels much more harmonious to me; I hardly give it a thought.

Edit: just to say - ‘disgust’ isn’t the response I have to the light skin/dark hair combo. I suspect I only notice it. But - it’s much pleasanter to be around people who are comfortable with themselves, whether they’re closer to the middle of whatever bell curve (for hair, weight, what have you) or not. Self confidence is a great disguise for ‘excess’ hair.