is there anyone who has had these treatments that can tell me how affective they are (As in it works or it doesnt) and how long it will take for all of it to be gone PERMANENTLY! as in upper legs, arms, chest, stomach, bottom, chin, and upper lip?
Please start by reading the FAQs first. Most of your questions will be answered there. And there are plenty of threads with many personal experiences, including mine.
no thanks i want a straight forward answer 
Okay then. When you you choose laser or IPL’s, you are only going to get a reduction. You are going to take a gamble that it won’t work on certain hair structures and colors even though certain clinics swear that their laser/IPL are much better and will make you happy in the end.
I’m not a fan of lasering or IPL’ing your facial areas, but I’m not going to write a book about this on hairtell, because it has been discussed in detail with real people that have experienced negative outcomes.
Light-based systems are limited in what they can do for you and much depends on hair structure, skin color, hair color, device used and practitioner skill. If you want a better answer, then you would know by reading the Laser Faq’s what you need to tell us about your particular situation so we don’t have to spend a lot of time getting an intake history from each poster that comes here. Can you work with us here? If you think you can, then we can proceed forward in a meaningful way.
There is no straightforward answer. There are many variables. Laser works well on certain type of skin and hair (I’ll disagree with Dee’s phrasing as I don’t think it’s a gamble at all on the right type of hair and skin and with the right type of machine and settings). You need to read the FAQs. That’s why I wrote them. If you’re too lazy too do that, I don’t know what to tell you because I don’t feel like repasting the entire thing here to answer your question which gets asked several times a week. Once again, that’s why I answered it in the FAQs. This is not an easy procedure. You need to be prepared to do some research and read a bit to get results. If you’re not willing to do that, you should just stick with temporary methods to avoid disappointment.