I feel like I'm cursed

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#1

I’ve never told anyone my deepest, darkest secret before. I haven’t even been able muster up the courage to tell my dr. It’s very late, and I’ve looked around this site some, but I’m too tired to search for anymore for someone who has as much hair as I do. Or at least anyone who admits to it. Who isn’t a guy.

I shave almost everywhere on my body. I have hair everywhere a person could get it! It’s not dark and course everywhere, thank god, but it is in a lot of other places. I was always embarrased of my hairier than normal arms when I was a kid. Then around the time I was 8, I got hair on my upper lip, which made school hell for me. Then when I got to about 15, it got even worse. I started getting hair on my stomach. The stuff around my belly butten was dark and thick, but the rest of it wasn’t. I also started getting darker hair on my lower back. Then it spread to my chest, breasts, and even my nipples! Most of that hair never got too dark or thick, but it was more noticable than peach fuzz. Btw, I’m brunnete.

I’m always looking closely at other girls to see if they hair in all these unwanted areas. Most of them don’t have any. Some have a very light, natural peach fuzz in some places. But I haven’t noticed any others who have as much hair as I do. Or shaving bumps in the places I do.

Oh, and it gets worse from there. By the time I was about 18, the hair in my bikkini area had spread to my inner thighs. I never see other girls with as many shaving bumps in that area as I have. By far! It also spread to other areas that I don’t even want to talk about. Around this time, I aslo started getting hair on my hands, feet, and the rest of my face. Fortunately, the hair on my cheeks hasn’t getten too dark or course. Yet anyway.

So like I said, I shave almost everywhere. My family, boyfriends, and everyone else I’ve stayed with always ask me why I take such long showers. They get pissed at me too. When I don’t shave anywhere for about a week, it can take me over 2 hours in the shower. On days where I’m just keeping up? An hour to an hour and a half. I’ve nevet told them the real reason why I take so long.

I’ve tried other things besides shaving too. Tons of drug store products. I do like that new care free stuff. It’s not perminant, but it’s the best depilatoriy I’ve tried in a long time. The only other one that ever worked better for me was epil. Remember that stuff? Way back when I was a kid, I used it on my upper lip. It worked really good for a while, and my hair would stay gone for about 3 weeks every time I used it. Unfortunatly, sometime after I bought my second container of it, I became immune to it, and it stopped working :frowning: I also tried waxing a couple times when I was about 12. Ouch!!

I’ve also had lazer hair removal. When I was 16, I begged my mom to spring for it for my upper lip. It worked pretty good. The hair would all go away for about a month. It was only supposed to take a year of monthly treatments for the hair to be gone perminantly, but I had to keep going back for like, two years! It decreased my hair a lot, but some of it kept coming back. Then, the cliniq I was going to closed. I went to a new place, and had to pay all over again. This time, the treatments didn’t work at all. Not one hair fell out. They tried every type of lazer they had too. To compensate me, they offered to do my navel. They were the first people I ever told that I had hair there. It’s working very good so far. Hopefully, it’ll take care of it perminately, and it’ll never come back.

As for my lip, it’s managable enough now, that I can trim it every day with manicure scizors, and you can’t see any hair. If I let it go too long though… it starts getting noticable again. I’m only 22, so I don’t have the money to do much expensive hair removal. Plus, I would be humiliated to have some places done…

I’ve researched this topic, and found that it could be herreditary, and if that’s the cause, you can’t get perscription medicine for it. I don’t have any nationalities in me that can tend to be more “hairy”. And I’ve never known of anyone in my family who has this problem. My mom has a bit more hair than the average woman - some facial hair, and hair on her feet and hands after she entered menopause, but nowhere else. However, I’ve noticed that my two sisters have my problem too. Luckily for them though, they’re both blonde. How is it that we don’t come from any hairy relatives at all, but all three of us ended up with this curse?!

This persuades me that it’s probably not hormonal, but herreditary. That would be pretty weird if all three of us ended up with a huge hormonal imballance. Speaking of hormones, a lot of the hairier women I’ve seen were lesbians. That just makes me feel even greater. Like I’m not supposed to be this hairy unless I’m a lesbian (I didn’t mean that to be offensive to homosexuals) I’m totally straight. In fact, I’m very girly.

People always tell me I’m crazy when I say I hate my body. I’m very good at covering up my flaws. I can’t tell anyone the biggest reason why I hate my body, so no one understands. I’m skinny, I’m pretty happy with my facial features, and I have a great ass, but that’s about it. The list of things I DON’T like about myself is way longer than the list of things I do like. On top of all the hair, I started getting cellulite when I was 12, I hate having small boobs, I have a horrible nose… the list goes on a long ways, but those are the biggest things on it next to the hair. Like I said though, I’m good at covering up my flaws, and people often compliment my looks, and I don’t have any trouble getting a boyfriend (keeping the hair thing a secret from them get’s to be such a pain in the ass after we start spending a lot of time together…). After all the work I do shaving, and primping I actually feel pretty good about myself a lot of the time. But my hair problem always comes back the very next day, and just the thought of that can bring me down. Even though there are things I like about myself, I still feel like I have the body from hell, mainly because of the stupid hair.

If you’re still reading this, thankyou so much for listening. I’ve never told anyone about my problem before. Sorry it was so long. If anyone has any suggestions for alternatives to shaving - prefferably something not too painful or expensive, but ANYTHING that works good - I would love some tips.

#2

Here is a big HairTell {{{HUG}}} for you.

I know this won’t make you feel any better, but as a guy, I can tell you that one of the biggest crushes I ever had in school was the lovely Ms. Brenda Hassan. Dear Brenda could have written your letter. She had hair everywhere from the time she was 10 and just to add to her struggle, her nose stopped growing sometime before she was ten years old, and so it was smaller than usual.

I can’t say that I ever heard any girls saying nasty things to Brenda, but I can tell you that most guys liked her a lot. She was one of the girls who had the most male friends. Funny thing is, she thought we were all friends with her because we did not consider her “girlfriend material”, when in truth, we all liked her so much, we were too scared of rejection if we asked her out and she said no. (Guys are like that you know. It is easy to ask some girl out when you can live with a no, when a no not only embarasses you, but loses you a friend, it is just too expensive a cost.)

Anyway, Brenda did not find out how popular she was until she got word that she was moving away to Florida and every guy who ever wanted a date with her decided that since we were losing her anyway, it no longer mattered if she said yes or no, as she would be gone in 2 months anyway.

I will always smile thinking of getting her last “Last Kiss” before she left.

All that being said, you need to know that on the one hand, your problem can be taken care of, but on the other hand, you need to be willing to accept a “normal amount of fuzz.” I have found that most women with your situation want to go from where they are to looking like a wax statue.

If you can find someone who can do lots of work on you consistently, you will get your face back in no time, but the rest of the body will take some time.

#3

Dear Pink,

Yes, for a woman to be very hairy in our culture usually causes great distress. I too was hairy which led me to become a hair removal and skin care practitioner.

You started to see more hair growth than what you perceived as normal, at the age of 8. When did you start menstruating? Did you keep track of your periods? Over the years, has it been regular?

When you were 16, you told your mom. You then told laser techs. Did anyone ever ask you about your periods or suggest you see a gynocologist or endocrinologist? You are now 22. If it turns out that you are diagnosed with a metabolic disorder/hormonal imbalance, this can be addressed medically and will slow growth. However, this will not prevent hair from growing from already stimulated hair follicles. Since you did not have success from laser, have you considered electrolysis? My suggestion is that you find an electrologist and start clearing you face. It is the only method that will assure you of permanent hair removal but requires consistant treatment, trust in your practitioner, and patience. Check the listings on this website to find an electrologist near you and go in for the (usually) free consultations. Keep in touch here and we will try to guide you.

One final comment; you mentioned that hairy women tend to be viewed as lesbians. The thing is, the amount of hair a woman has does not predispose to a gender preferance. Have you ever been to South America, the Middle East, India or even New York City? Lots of hairy women here and there and most are far from being lesbians. Now, if you personally know lesbians who happen to be hairy, remember, that is just a subgroup of lesbians who happen to not care about being hairy. Then, there are lesbians who seek hair removal because they do not want to be hairy.

All the best.

#4

I agree with Arlene’s adivce, pink. There is a way down for you and it is called permanent hair removal via electrolysis for your face or anywhere and perhaps you can have success on certain body areas with LASER. Alas, you need to have a long-term plan for the areas that concern you. Permanent hair removal is not inexpensive or easy, but with the right approach and the right frame of mind, you will be on your way to succeeding at a goal that you won’t regret pursuing.

We are here as advisor’s and supporters. There is enough talent here to answer all your questions.

Dee

#5

Believe me you are not alone. And just like the girl in Mr. Walker’s post, I could have written your letter. Who knows though, maybe we’re not as hairy as we think or I’m not as hairy as you or vise versa. I think it’s how we perceive ourselves. I believe that at least 30% of how we think we look is all in our head. However, judging from how you feel about yourself, I can too relate to your story. I started out with the hairy arms and from there it spread. It’s mostly brown and fine all over, but coarse and dark in certain places. I too would take hour long showers and my husband would always wonder why, but I eventually confessed and he pretty much knew and didn’t care. Oh and he’s not some guy who’s into hairy chicks…he thinks I’m the most beautiful person in the world…it just wasn’t as big of a deal as how I made it out to be. I’m mostly happy with how I look other than the hair. I shave practically my whole body, except my back, which doesn’t have really noticeable hair anyway. With all the environmental issues going on though I’ve managed to get it down to 40 minutes and sometimes 30. You might actually be luckier than I was, I used to have oily skin and mild acne, which is related to hormone sensitivity as well–I’ll explain below.

I think yours is hereditary rather than hormonal…most of the time it is. In the simplest of terms your skin is overly sensitive to the normal levels of hormones in your body…such as testosterone. However, you should still see a doctor and be tested for any imbalances…if I was you I would ask the doctor if you can see a specialist such as a gyno or endo (as listed in the previous post). You may find that doctors will tell you it’s normal and send you on your way.

Now as far as there being no treatment, that isn’t true, but you have to be committed. The first step you should take is to make sure you have a healthy diet and exercise–I know you’re thin, but that doesn’t mean healthy, and you should drink lots and lots of water every day. I’ve read different opinions on how much water, but I think the best “rule of thumbs” are to drink 1 ounce of water for every pound you weigh or cut your weight in half and drink just 1 ounce of water for that amount. Believe me that makes such a difference in how you feel about yourself and taking up something like exercise gives you control over your body since we feel like we lose a lot of control when it comes to our body hair.

Now if you are interested in actual medical treatment, the best thing to do is obviously see the doctor first. There are medications out there for the treatment of hirsutism (which in case your didn’t know, that’s what your “situation” is called). People have different opinions about them and some opt to not go that route. I take Spironolactone. If you want to learn more about it, just go to google or something and type in Spironolactone for hirsutism. I’m not going to tell you my experience or how I feel or reccommend anything because I want you to decide for yourself if it’s an option.

Good luck to you Pink. You can always come here to share or ask questions.

#6

Hi pink85… You did not state how old you are. The only thing that makes hair grow are male hormones and there are a few of them plus some hormones that have some of the activity of male hormones like PROGESTERONE, WHICH IS A FEMALE HORMONE and CORTISONE which is present in both genders.

The fact you had so much hair when you were so young indicates you may have ADRENOGENITAL SYNDROME. This is present in 10% of ALL LATINOS, male and female and many others, however, it is not a problem in males because it is merely a guy with a lot of hair. Most of them are very hairy but are also bald at a young age. It may seem strange but the hormone that makes hair grow also causes men to lose hair on the head at an early age. When females become aware of it… it is because they have reached an age where the extra hair can be a cause of rejection by society or the patient develops dysmorphia (does not like her body). You mentioned other parts of your body like small breasts and your nose (a common complaint among women who have no medical problem. They just want bigger breasts). IN ADRENOGENITAL SYNDROME the female commonly finds her bra cup size gets smaller and her clitoris gets larger (I include this because Doctors have to measure it with a ruler to be sure, so do not be surprised if the doc does this.)The diagnosis is made with blood a test. Sometimes an ultra sound will show up the enlarged adrenal glands.

There is another condition called PITUITARY ADENOMA. In this condition it is also common for any female to start secreting milk. Not just a couple of drops. It can stain the dress and be very embarrasing. I had a patient who is an R.N. who had this condition. It was diagnosed by an Endocrinologist at a medical school. He is a specialist who understands these rare conditions because when other docs can’t figure it out they refer it to him, therefore he sees a lot of things other docs are not familiar with. He knows what questions to ask and asked about leaking milk. The treatment is a pill called BROMOCRIPINE.

With adrenogenital syndrome there is a greater amount of adrenal hormone secreted. There are some symptoms that are different than polycystic ovarian syndrome. With adrenogenital syndrome a womans breasts can get smaller so she has to get a smaller cup size.

#7

Actually, she did say her age. It’s 22. Why would you say she had so much hair when she was so young? She grew hair on her upper lip and even more hair grew in other places when she was around 15. This is the time when most people start to develop the hair and other hormonal issues…it’s called puberty. Maybe she has small breasts because women in her family do. I wouldn’t go labeling her with those medical terms. Of course she has to see a physician and get her hormones checked, but when you start spouting out possible reasons it can scare people. She probably thinks she’s turning into a man. Besides, I think she would notice if she had an enlarged clitois. Those conditions are extrememly rare and she’s not latino, so that puts her into an even smaller percentage for either of those conditions. She stated that the hair is dark and coarse in some areas, but finer in others. The most common explanation for hirsutism is skin sensitivity to hormones…more common than PCOS, which she could have, but more times than not it’s skin sensitivity.

#8

Thank you healthyliving for calling Harvey Grove, LE CPE, (retired electrologist) aka, Lefty2g on these statements. Two questions I had about his post after I read it are:

  1. What medical school did you go to?
  2. Why are you trying scare this young lady?

Thanks for stating all that so well. I’m sure it reflects what many think, but haven’t expressed.

#9

This latest post seemed more misogynistic than informative.

Just my thoughts.

Benji

#10

I’m getting tired of these types of posts. Interestingly enough that Harvey doesn’t seem to go back to reply to any comments made about his posts and questions addressed to him.

I’ll try again.

Harvey, can you share with us - what is your purpose on this forum?

#11

dfahey,

I honestly thought I was going to get kicked off this forum by that post. I had no idea that poster was an electrologist. My goal when posting is not to correct everyone else’s information and I rarely do. Most of everyone on here is incredibly informative. However, when I saw that post, I had to say something. I hope the original poster will come back and read the comments because I want her to know she is not alone. When I first really started thinking about the amount of body hair I had and wondering if it was abnormal, I went to the internet. I can’t tell you how horrified I was when I would come across sites talking about virilization, smaller breasts, enlarged clitoris, etc. This may be graphic, but I went home and looked at my private parts just to make sure it was all female. I never noticed anything out of the ordinary, but at the time I had no idea what an enlarged clitoris would look like. Then I would start questioning my breast size…they are on the smaller side. I became so depressed. However, I finally mustered up the courage to see a doctor. As soon as she came in the room, I started crying. After I calmed down I explained to her my situation and different things I had read and so on. She asked me questions about my periods and such and she looked me over. She said I am totally normal, I’m not the only one, and that you can’t look for the truth on the web. I have done a lot of research on “hirsutism” since that day, and it’s unbelievable the amount of misinformation there is out there. I mean even if you look up hirsutism, it will usually bring up PCOS, which as I said isn’t even the most common explanation for hirsutism. One of the only other explanations is “idiopathic hirsutism”–no cause/explanation for the hair growth…as if there’s such a thing.

Anyway, I just don’t want the girls on here to feel like a freak or they’re any less feminine than the next woman.

I apologize if anyone took offense to my comment and questioning another person’s post.

#12

No one took offense! We all agreed with you. It needed to be said. lefty has been going around making these unnecessary posts all over the board recently and it’s annoying most of us by this point.

#13

I would guess that more women have unwanted hair as a direct result of their Diet Soda addiction than do from PCOS alone. Of course, being part of the treatment for PCOS sure makes us hair removal professionals look and feel good. Might even raise our stature in some people’s eyes :wink:

No one even considered kicking you off the board, rest assured.

#14

healthyliving,

You have a beautiful way of writing and you seem to be so calm, reassuring and fair in regard to your comments. I hope you will continue to contribute, so as to balance out some of the hogwash that creeps onto this bulliten board from time to time. I, too, hope this young lady rejoins this discussion so we know she understands that Harvey’s comments were bordering on bazooky. One post on the internet should not lead to all that detail. Many women and girls that are too hairy are physically normal and very healthy. Doesn’t mean we can’t study and memorize medical causes of hirtsutism and keep those possibilities in the back of our mind when we see clients. We are not doctors and should not be coming close to diagnosing people over the internet.