i can't stand these hairs

When I was little, I made the biggest stupid thing in my life and shaved an invisible mess around my stomach and whole breasts. Because of that, my hair strengthened, causing me to cry, it was velus hair now they are terminal. I’m sure for 100% that it’s a shave strenght them, because in places where I didn’t shave them they are not visible. I have no hormonal problems or diseases. I’m a living example that shaving make hair more visibiel and thick. I want to commit suicide for this reason, I think about it many times, you may think it’s just hair, but for my appearance is very importan to me. Sorry for my english, but this is not my mother tongue. I tried to shave it, but it was a vicious circle, I would have to do it everyday and I’m sick of it, black dots are so visible, I’m crying, I tried depilators, waxing, sugaring, threading, epistick and my skin was only red, very irritated and they were almost verywhere ingtow hair that couldn’t pass through skin.
These hairs are not very long but visible because I have a pale complexion and they are black. I was on laser hair removal, I was about 5 times and there is some reduction maybe 20%, but the person doing that told me lately that she don’t guarantee me that they will disappear 100% and after I spent so much money and the effect is poor she told me that new hair will grow and it’s not possible to get rid of hair with laser and they will grow more every year. I’m angry that I didn’t knew it earlier. Now I want to stop it because it costs my a lot of money, effect will not be permanent, if i had to to touch up every month it doesn’t have sense. Laser hair removal was my last hope and now I don’t have any hope. Undressing itself was so traumatizing for me because that person was the first person which saw me with this hair.
It’s just hair, but it feels like zero. Hair on the legs, bikini, armpits - I have no problem,I shave them but everyone have them and who has hair on stomach and breast? It’s not one hair or two, the whole area and it’s all by my stupidity. I regret it so much.
I feels like nothing. I hate looking at these places, when I put bra I do it very fast and don’t look, it’s too traumatizing for me. I want to kill myself. I will never have boyfriend live normally because I don’t accept it and I will never accept it, I have only two ways first is suicide and second get rid of hair which is not possible. I would like to live but I cant’ with all this sh**. All my other complexes are nothing comparing to it. I would like someone to help me get rid of this ****. I read about electrolyses that they say it is permanent but I don’t know anyone in my country which can do it and I’m so scared of scarring - it’s too big areas I don’t want to have it ruined with scarring and other things. I can’t rejoice my life with that. I can’t look at myself sometimes. If they would be gone I would be so happy. I would pay every money and do everything if I could get rid of them without even worse consequences like scarring etc. They are thin (however thicker than it was when I didn’t shave it) but black and visible.
I know it’s chaotic, and I’m so sorry for my English but I don’t have anyone to talk about it. I never show it to anyone except that person which made laser removal on me. I know people have more important problems in life but it’s not comforting to me :frowning: Laser hair removal was my last hope and now I don’t have any hope.
I think about euthanasia. You probably think that I’m stupid and it’s just hair, people have more important problems, but to me my life is not worth anything. I can’t be happy with that. I know they are people with hirsutism and they can have family, be happy, but I definately can’t do it. It’s too much traumatizing for me. I’m too weak mentally. I wish someone could give me hope to get rid of this for 100% but I don’t have no one who could. I know that without that I would be attractive, I’m poorly hairy from nature, my hair on legs, hand, armpits are weak (black but thin), but in this two aearias I wrote about… they are visible for me and I can’t accept it, if i shave it there are black spots and they are visible, if i wax/sugar/thread it they are ingrow and causing pimple, cremes for epilation make my skin irritated and they give the same effect as shaving, if laser removal is not permanent, and i will have to do it forever every months it doesn’t have sense, bleaching them burned my skin, now I don’t have any solutions. I wish they were gone, I wish someone give me hope, I wish someone understand me. Writing all this cost me a lot.

First of all, if you’re truly suicidal, seek professional help immediately.

Shaving did not cause the problem. It’s an old wives tale that shaving makes hair grow thicker. A hair is tapered, like a carrot, and, if you cut a carrot in half, you expose a thicker piece, but that piece was always that thick. Shaving doesn’t disrupt the root or blood vessels, thus, it won’t cause the hair to grow thicker or nearby hair to start growing.

Now, you’ve said you’ve tried laser. As an electrologist, IMO, the abdomen is one of the worst places to do laser on, since laser actually CAN stimulate new hair growth and cause hair to grow thicker. This is called paradoxical laser hypertrichosis and it seems to be caused by using settings that are too low or by hair that is too light or thin to absorb enough energy to destroy it.

Likewise, anything that causes the hair to be ripped out of the follicle (like the waxing and threading you mention) will also cause the problem to get worse.

Electrolysis absolutely can get rid of the hair for you. In fact, many of us thoroughly enjoy doing body work because it is so easy to permanently kill and instantly gratifying. If you tell us where you’re located, we can ask around for references to colleagues in the area.

Tell us in which country you live. There are many experts here and we might be able to direct you to the right person.

Shaving caused NOTHING! if shaving made hair grow, bald men would only have to shave their head to get the hairs to grow back.

Shaving does NUTTIN’ to hair growth!!! It is a myth. A big zero.

Hey I’m a man and I shave my upper arms. It’s been a year they’re still thin as they were before :smiley: I shave them every week. Shaving doesn’t have an affect on hair growth or thickening process. They get thicker when the time has come. Consider it like puberty to adulthood thing and I can only imagine your trouble but trust me people don’t notice them as much as you do. I get sick to my stomach when I see stupid hairs on my upper arm. There are some thick ones but they were always thick. I’m able to shave it clearly therefore I’m not gonna laser 'em :smiley: and trust me it doesn’t disgust others like it does disgust us. Just make a plan and start following it. In the meantime find something to keep yourself busy. I live in Istanbul and obviously I and others are able to understand you. I had a girlfriend and her belly, lower back was covered with thin hairs. I didn’t talk about them so she wouldn’t turn it into a big problem. She was really beautiful, one of a kind but has the same curse as you and me. Just use a quality machine to get rid off them. Save some money, find a good clinic with good machines to perform laser on those areas where can be seen by laser machine. I’ve had 5 tx in total so far on my belly area. They’re still there but thinner than before and shaving doesn’t really help and electrolysis cost too much and takes a lot of time. I don’t know what to do with those thin hairs. You can just trim it to 0.5mm or shave it and be happy for a week. I’m okay with hair on my chest but not on my belly and I went to the clinic yesterday to zap the sides of my beard completely. I opted to keep my goatee. I like it anyway. Life is all about satisfaction and you shouldn’t be ashamed of your problems. In the end it’s not you who wanted to be hairy. It’s just the way it is. Trust me there are many people like you but they don’t talk. It’s the same reason as you have. They’re like I’m gonna reveal things about myself and show 'em how bad I am. You’re not. I truly understand your trouble. Try not to focus on it to avoid to be left with it. Do you see what I mean? I’ve found a job recently and it’ll keep me busy and I’ll be lasering my beard and belly. This is what I want. It’s okay if I hate hair. I didn’t born like this and I had no hair until age 16 then it all went wrong :smiley: see how happy I am? Find new things to bring some excitement into your life. For those thin hairs which laser doesn’t see you can always use a machine and have a clean skin. Don’t forget your obsession about hair will lose its affect on you. You will stop eating yourself alive. Time heals everything. Just do what you can do to convince yourself. I wish you happiness in your life. Have a great day

Broken 1, I hope you are OK and take comfort that u are not the only one with this problem, in fact it is the most common areas excluding facial hair that women get distressed about. Shaving does nothing to the hair like previous members have said, the hair doesn’t know anything has happened to it when it’s shaved it’s the bluntness that you notice after a shave because u have taken the fine tapered end away. Also what was your reasoning for shaving in the first place, you must have had hair there for you to reach for the shaver in the first place, so the shaving didn’t produce the hair it was already there and the hair removal methods used since your shaving has caused the hair to be coarser as you strengthen the derma pilla (blood supply) to the hair this is the follicle trying to protect itself from trauma (tweezing, waxing, sugaring, threading).

I feel you should also be contacting a forum, helpline for mental health so you can talk your feelings with professionals in that field. I 100% agree that electrolysis is the best thing you can start as I have myself had hair in the same areas and no long need to have electrolysis as hair has gone. Like others have asked where are you?