How do you cope with comments??

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Was just wondering if those that have ever received comments or had insults coped?

I have overheard people in the past say things about me having a moustache. So called friends, friends of friends and strangers.

Someone said something on the way home the other night. I’d had a really good night out and was feeling really good, new haircut and clothes and good company then this guy in this shop asked me is that moustache real? - I just didn’t reply just wanted the ground to swallow me up. It brought me right down. Then was just thinking about it the rest of the weekend really and it keeps coming back and I ended up crying yesterday. It just makes me feel so fed up when people say stuff.

Also (sorry for rant!) do you find other people touch their faces when they talk to you if are a girl with facial hair? This really winds me up as well! grrrrr!

I have electrolysis but even though the hairs are fine and short I still have a shadow unfortunately which is hard to tackle!!

Would love to know anyone elses coping strategies.

Alison

#2

My coping strategy would be simple. Get the hair off - end of comments. Get more electrolysis to finish the job if that’s what it will take. I don’t know your specifics, but if you had electrolysis and people can still see your upper lip hair, then the job was not completed properly or you had new hair cycle in over a period of time for whatever reasons???

If you cannot let comments slide off easily, then remove the focus of the comments. People are always going to be rude and think what they think no matter what you say or do. There will never be an end to this kind of human behavior.

You might want to sneak over to the electrolysis forum and tell us the specifics about your electrolysis care so we can help you discover what was missing in your past treatment attempt, that is, if you are eager to truly solve your problem.

#3

Hi Dee

Thanks for your reply. Yep I totally agree!

The hairs are fine and short and hardly noticeable on their own but collectively I still have a shadow and enough for people to make comments.

My electrologists thinks that to get rid of the shadow would be waxing, but that made things worse before. She and other electrolygists i have been to say the hairs are fine and not bad and I shouldn’t worry. However, the shadow is there!! I can see it and so can other people!!
I think to get rid of the shadow I would need the fine hairs doing so just gotta keep going with the electrolysis and try and let the comments slide.

I know electrolysis can do any hair, no matter how fine, just gotta find someone who will.

Alison

#4

Alison,

The problem with fine blond hair lies with the dismal fact that many electrologists cannot see them well enough, so they get poo-pooed as not being significant instead of being treated. They use less than effective magnification and that serves only to frustrate the consumer. We don’t want to go after every fine blond hair. Just a nice thinning will do the trick.

Can you concentrate on finding someone that has medical grade magnification so they can see what you and your friends see.

Can any consumers in the United Kingdom help Alison find an electrologist that can get the job done with total satisfaction?

Dee

#5

Thanks Dee. You are a star!

I think that is what is required. I used to live in New Zealand and the electrolygist was amazing and used different lighting angles and wear ultra magnification glasses.

I am a podiatrist and use medical grade magnification for nail surgery, maybe I should take it with me!!

Alison

#6

Now that’s an idea! Would you be ammenable to listing your previous electrologist in New Zealand that you were so happy with? We are always trying to help consumers worldwide to connect with the best in their communities.

Thanks Alison,

Dee

#7

HI
Have posted referral.
If anyone has a good referral in the UK, preferably southwestengland way would be great.

Alison

#8

Is London too far for you? If not, then you can PM me for a referal.

#9

For me when I was younger and kids were mean, it would hurt my feelings. Now, I don’t think people say much because I try to have it concealed. BUt of course that’s difficult to do 24/7, if someone does say something behind my back and I hear it, I really don’t get hurt by it because it’s true. I do have hair there, they’re not lying. So why would it hurt my feelings? That’s how I go about thinking and coping with everything

#10

Alison if have a read through the post on the electrolysis board you’ll find Maxine has been searching for the very thing good magnification for fine blond hair and unfortunately not getting very far. I am surprised that you’ve got blond hair that is showing up as a shadow other wise I was going to suggest bleaching it.

You could drop Maxine a message if nothing else she might be able to tell you were not to waste your time.
Is the shadow caused by the hair or has the skin just taken on shadow?

As for comments well the world is full of idiots and it is horrible, I remember once paying for petrol and chap behind the counter asked me when had the hair formed on my face. It stopped me in my tracks. All of a sudden at that point you cannot hear/remember the nice comments that people have made to you in your life they just get stripped away.

Lila I like your approach of yeah so what!

#11

There is no such thing as “medical grade magnification”. You can have high or low magnification or a zoom lens. It depends on which you prefer to use and how much money you are willing to spend.

#12

You are wrong.

#13

This makes me quite curious.

Is there a specific range of magnification that is defined as medical grade, or does the designation refer to an assigned range of optical clarity?

If the latter, how do medical grade optics compare with those meant for scientific research, and is there a way to tell (e.g. officially assigned symbol) which application the loupe or microscope was made for?

#14

You all can argue terms if you wish. The basic fact is that most electrologists are using something called a “3 Diopter Lens” inside a fluorescent circle lamp. The “sweet spot” or focal point of the magnifyer is only large enough for one eye to focus on, causing headaches for electrolysis practitioners who work long hours, and deprives them of their proper depth perception. The magnification delivered by this device is 1.5 times life size. That’s right, just a little bit better than your naked eye! It is not even twice life size. The average hand held magnifying glass is stronger than what electrologists expect to use to perform microsurgery. If you are lucky, they may have spent extra money to get a “5 Diopter Lens” and in that case they at least have 2.5 times life size magnification.

Now the lighting is still not all that great (which anyone who has ever seen the difference a halogen light source with fiber optics and dimmer switch makes would know)

Dentists, Surgeons and other doctors who use magnification have equipment that grants them the ability to see much better than 1.5 times life size, and much more light than a circle lamp. Think back to your last trip to the dentist for that simple cleaning.

Of course, the more magnification, and the better the lighting, the higher the cost of the equipment. Always follow the money. That’s the reason most don’t have the better vision and lighting equipment. It just costs more money, and most never get to try out the better vision or lighting equipment before they buy it, if they ever buy it.

#15

Medical grade magnification is about resolution, field width, field depth and lastly, magnification.

Providing sharp images (resolution)turns the world of hair removal into something fantastically clear. Adding the advantage of providing the widest field of view is desired because it is quicker and easier for the eyes to adjust when shifting back and forth from magnification to the naked eye. This reduces eye fatigue. Resolution and widest field of vision are more important than actual magnification, which no one can agree upon any way. These concepts should be the focus when purchasing medical/surgical magnification. Next item to consider is depth perception (less neck and eye strain)and is dependent on a quality light source. Lastly, magnification is added to the mix and relates to the size of image - not the clarity - that’s where resolution comes in. Working angle is important as well. This allows the electrologist to be comfortable because one is able to maintin ergonomically correct posture, thus, preventing back and neck pain. An electrologist or surgeon knows darn well what this means after working for consecutive hours straight, day after day.

Medical grade magnification, as used by healtcare professsionals especially, are made up of multiple lenses and if you wear corrective prescription lenses or have had laser vision correction where one eye is left weaker than the other on purpose (monovision), then the loupes can be customized for that individual.
How good is that?

You can’t get all this with a circle lamp or $40 plastic lenses, thus the distinction between labeling the better, more costly customized magnification as medical grade magnification, surgical magnification. It all relates to levels of quality.

#16

Yes, I know that dentists and surgeons use high magnification optics that are much better than what most electrologists have.

Actually the reason that the subject piqued my interest was that the 30X binocular microscope and binocular loupes I sometimes use to inspect connections and electronic components at work probably aren’t medical grade because the scientific supply house that we bought them from carries no medical items. It would just be interesting to know what the main difference is and whether there is a simple way to tell the equipment apart.

But I guess this is getting off topic…

#17

Dee,you replied while I was writing my previous note.

So, to summarize, medical grade optics are built to provide better resolution, field, depth and ergonomics than their scientific counterparts, and can also be customized to compensate for the user’s diffractional aberrations.

Thanks for the clarification!

#18

You are very welcome, Cirke.

I don’t know the particulars of the scientific counterparts that are used in your line of work, maybe there are similarities, maybe there are slight differences. You offered a good question, but I must claim ignorance. I can only speak about the magnification terms that are familiar to me.

Thanks,

Dee

#19

Hey hunni,

That was completley crappy, I know this probably doesn’t help after its been said but people like that are often insecure themsevles. Maybe he’s got some really bad acne in those embarassing places, maybe he’s got 3 nipples or maybe (and the most probabale)… he’s got a really small <please insert chosen name of body part> :wink:

In regards to magnificiation that is a difficult one in the UK I have to admit, Maxi has been on the eternal quest to search for a decent electrologist with good lighting/magnification. Hopefully someone will come across the gem that you’ve all been looking for.

Wish you well on your hair removal journey and good luck,
Benji

#20

Hi

Thanks for all you’re replies you are all stars.

I know what you mean about when someone makes a comment it strips away anything nice people say. I guess they are just morons and the people that I really care about would never say anything.

Another go you mentioned the skin just taken on shadow - I think that maybe the problem more than the hair. nothing I can do about that I guess. do find it fustrating that the hairs are small and light, I have found someone good to do electrolysis here in Plymouth so will stick at it for now.

Feeling stronger and more positive. Yay!

Alison