How can this be happening to me???

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I am in tears…literally, recently i have not been able to fall asleep thinking about this. My problem here is common…but i desperately need to talk to somebody, here that there are other people…like me…

I see here it is normal to have hair on the upper lip, so i will leave the fact of shaving it for years alone!!!BUT…there is something worse, for the past 2 months i developed severe hairyness on my face…not just some PEACHY hair like those ladies complain about, but ThiCK…BLAck…MAN - LIke hair…
I was SO shocked when i saw it, i just closed the bathroom and started crying. I Know i have a higher chance of getting facial hair, as i am half mongolian…and my sister also has facial hair…but hers is light and almost invisible…my upper lip is DARK…you can see that it has been shaven.

It is DISGUSTING, i simply hate myself and keep asking…Y me???I started shaving because i was bullied at school over my hair on the upper lip,also because i was ugly like hell…once i hit puberty i transformed into a beautiful girl/woman…i started feeling more comfortable and less self-stressed…and Now this…i have been through loads of stuff in my life…but MALE HAIR on my face just does it…i am totally devastated…
Also, it developed so quickly, just 2,3 months.

My doc says it must be PCOS…but i am on Roaccutane (oh yeah i started having embarassing back acne too recently), which is a very powerful drug and cannot be taken with anything else…and the course takes almost half a year…in half a year i might transform into a man…the speed its growing now.

I recently got married, we have been together for three years, i have not had the gut to tell him about my problem…i prefer to die…it will die with me…seriously. i felt humiliated and disgusting when bullied at school…i am not going through it again.

I am usually a very optimistic person…and despite my stomach fluff and pubic line to navel…this is the only thing that bothers me…but you have to agree its not just upper lip hair…its the whole face…

Another thing, i will be going through the tests for PCOS…i have read that acne and hair are the symptoms…and i also read that something else is coming for me…BALDING…
Apparently another sign of it is men balding…as i have read about it i have literally started getting paranoid…i FEEL i am losing my hair… i FEEL i am becoming bald…i have no desire to go outside, i dread SUNLIGHT…because people can see it. i will not shave it…

i guess…i just wanted to tell you people how i feel, i hope there is another person with similar problem…its important that you write to me…i am literally going crazy here.

So…what do i have left??? constantly feeling embarassed?

ooooooooh, please help.
please

#2

I feel your pain. I didn’t have as much facial hair as some do but I still have a lot. Everyday that I have to shave pains me. Look up!! Thanks to Andrea for web site and people like James and Lagirl with their knowledge one can safely remove hair. The old saying no pain no gain. I have a love hate relationship with my electrolysis. I love to death what she does, but hate temporary pain it cause though I can deal with it. Any one that does not have an unwanted hair problem has spend money to get rid of it. Look up; find a good electrolysis in your area and with help of this web site and people who post here you can be hair free. Best of luck

#3

In addition to everything else, please do increase your water and electrolyte intake. Many people find that acne and some unwanted hair growth problems disappear when they work out a way to drink a total daily intake of one ounce of water for every pound they weigh while getting enough electrolytes to allow the body to utilize that level of hydration properly. Fruits like watermelon, oranges, bananas and veggies like broccoli, raddicio and romain lettuces, to say nothing of good whole foods like molasses and natural maple syrup go a long way towards this goal.

You seem like a person who would do well to read Julia Ross’ “The Diet Cure” as the information in the book on hormonal reactions, and foods and fake foods that cause trouble like what you describe will be very valuable to you.

If you have not already, stop using anything with artificial sweeteners in them. You will read in the book why you should avoid them.

#4

another thing is the fact that i am a healthy eater and exercise regularly, to be exact everyday, i have read that obese people get these problems with hormones…but this is so not me…god damn it!

#5

I can understand your pain. I used to have fine hair on my cheeks and upperlip which I could cover perfectly by bleaching. But then, I made the terrible mistake of going for laser hair removal and ended up having thicker and coarser hair than before which cannot even be bleached now.
I spend hours obsessing over my face now and many a night I am not able to sleep thinking about how I have ruined my face.
I just hope you find a good electrologist soon to take care of your problem, something which I have not been able to find.

#6

We have to advocate for ourselves because too many people are are either too busy or don’t care enough to take the time to help.

Yes, read THE DIET CURE as James suggests, and get the blood tests to determine cause of the problem but arm yourself with information and also read the books that Dr. Geoffrey Redmond writes so that you can ask the right questions and self advocate.

Stop hiding. Stop feeling sorry for yourselves. You wouldn’t believe the range of devastating problems that people go through.
Look for solutions. Stop dwelling. Most of the world’s popoulation goes to bed hungry.

Hey sk1, have you thought about coming to the USA and studying electrolysis here and going back home to start a practice?

#7

Hold on, i thought laser removes hair, not making it blacker?!?!?!

#8

sofiko, you sound like you are experiencing signs of PCOS, including coarse facial growth and acne. I would strongly advise you to see an endocrinologist who will be able to run tests to determine this for sure. There are medications that help with both acne and hair by controlling the hormones that cause PCOS, like spiro and gluphonage. There are people on this forum taking them too. You sound very upset, which is fine, but there are solutions and you can take the matters into your hands and get rid of this problem.

Laser hair removal or electrolysis could be good options for you. You didn’t say what color your skin is, but it sounds like it’s darker since you’re Mongolian. That means a good Yag laser can be used on the very coarse hair on your face, and then you can finish everything that is left with electrolysis. Another option is to go for electrolysis right away. There are both good electrologists and laser specialists in London and you can run a search on this forum to find previous recommendations.

Laser hair removal is not a black and white procedure. Please read the FAQs below first. You shouldn’t be treating hair that is not very coarse specifically on your face with laser as it CAN induce more growth in that specific case. It should only be used on coarse hair on women’s faces and with appropriate laser and settings.

#9

thank you again for the message, i feel like you know about this topic about PCOS. One question, i have been going crazy here, i cannot believe i did it myself (as to be honest my dermatologist advised me to remove hair on the upper lip and i asked for the whole face…and since then it got worse)
so back to that question, i have read that women on PCOS experience balding…which can be permanent…do yo know anything about it? i am going paranoid here…checking my hair everyday scared everytime i see hair in my brush…
thank you

i know its easy for some people to say…look there are people with much worse problems like being hungry…well…i suppose i sound selfish but it IS a problem for me. All these phrases like its inside the person that counts…and people will look past it…IT iS COMPLETE RUBBISH!
WE LIVE in such a cruel world, i have been bullied…i grew out of it…but you know., i now have Sooo many complexes…that adding this FACIAL MALE HAIR…i might as well go commit suicide!
So please dont give me this hungry and etc. rubbish…

p.s. i support many charities…i am not being a bad person you know!!!

#10

hi you recently replied to my topic, can you please answer a couple of questions?

  1. How likely am i to get bald???(this makes me sleepless)
  2. If i do have PCOS, then one of things to cure my hair growth is taking contraceptives…but i am against them as i used to take them for quiete a while and i think that’s what set my hormones off!!! is there any other cure of this stuff?
  3. How dangerous/easily curable? is this PCOS…as all the web sites just state the facts…but…from a professional/personal point of view please??
#11

oh and a big thank you to everyone who is helping me here.

#12

you really need to stop freaking out. :slight_smile: there are many women living just fine with PCOS, and with hair. It’s a condition that can be controlled without many apparent side effects. this isn’t a PCOS specialty website. the best thing you can do is 1. look online to find PCOS forums (there are many) and talk to other women who experience symptoms and see if you have any of them. 2. see a an endocrinologist doctor who can run tests to see if you even have it at all.

on your other points:

  • Oral contraceptives are not the only thing used to control PCOS as I mentioned above and included names of 2 popular drugs that are used. But besides that, there are many various birth control pills and just because you took one or two that didn’t fit your body, doesn’t mean that one that does doesn’t exist. Women usually have to go through several various pills to find the one that fits their body and doesn’t produce side effects. One of the popular ones for women with hormonal issues is Yasmine for example, which can also decrease acne, lessen hair growth, and regulate your periods (irregular and/or heavy periods are also one of the signs of PCOS).

  • Since hair grows in cycles, you’re supposed to lose 100-200 hairs daily.

#13

i had laser removal done, however the hair is still growing, the lady who did it said the hair will fall out within a week, is it true or she doesnt know what she is talking about?
is it possible that i had this treatment done and there is no effect? like shaving she just removed hair on the surface???

#14

laser hair removal is a complicated procedure. please read the FAQs right below my post here.

the hair falls out within 3 weeks, not 1. you need to wait 3 weeks. also, you need to make sure you’re getting the best treatments for your specific skin and hair. FAQs will help you figure that out.

#15

Having PCOS doesn’t mean that you will necessarily lose your hair…that is if you even have it. You say that you were on birth control for many years prior. How long have you been off of birth control? A good explanation for your hair and acne issue could be that you have had PCOS or some mild form of it for a while now, but you probably started taking the birth control before you noticed any symptoms of PCOS. Since birth control does help balance out your hormones, it could have been masking the problem all along. If you went off birth control, say 6 months to a year ago, that could explain the sudden increase in facial hair and ance. However, the fact that you say it’s gotten so bad in just a couple of months leads me to believe that perhaps something is wrong with your ovaries or adrenal glands, perhaps even an androgen secreting tumor (very rare). Do you have any other signs of virilaztion? Have your periods become irregular?

#16

Hey arlene, this forum is for people who ARE dwelling and/or depressed about their hair issues. I’m one of them and so is the girl that asked the question. We all know there are greater problems in the world, but we all have problems in our own lives that eat us up. And unless you wake up every morning with hideous hair on your face and have people saying things to you about it, don’t tell the poor girl to “stop feeling sorry for herself” because the problem is very real in her everyday life. Sorry i just hate when people feel the need to minimize others’ problems by annoyingly reminding them other people’s bigger problems.

#17

Arlene and all electrologists know better than anyone how people who have unwanted hair suffer. Most became electrologists because of their own problems with hair. We deal with every end of the spectrum from clients who just want to shape their brows a bit to young women who are suicidal because they have a full beard and a ton of body hair and have no social life, because “how could anyone love a hairy woman?” So when Arlene advises someone to stop dwelling on the hair, it’s because she does care. We’ve seen life after hair, and the one common factor is how much our clients regret spending so much time focusing on the hair, and not living a full life. There comes a time when as adults we have to take responsibility for what life has thrown our way, and move forward. With hair, you either live with it, or you get rid of it. Those are truly the only choices. When you are my age, you will look back and realize that unwanted hair was a breeze compared to a mother with alzheimers, a father who suffered several strokes, miscarriage, divorce, bankruptcy, knee replacement, the list goes on…

Arlene wasn’t minimizing anyone’s problems, she was giving support, which can’t always be a “there there, it will be ok.”

#18

Hi I can understand where Arlene trying to be supportive, but when someone is going through a problem that they have, especially on their face it is hard to see beyond that problem.
I was somebody who went in to get my side burns removed with laser, this went on for four years every 6wks and after four years of LHR I decided to stop doing it and see how many hairs I was left with, to my horror I discovered my hairs got worse and the area got so much bigger so all my hair on the side of my face got long and fuzzy and was in the shape of a beard. I locked myself at home for two months and would not show myself to anybody, although I knew thier are bigger problems out thier, I still couldnt get over what I had, after being at home for 2mths I realised this was not a solution, I knew I had to look for a solution. I went to my dermatologist begging him to give some medication that could get rid of my hair problem he refused to give me as he said this was ot a permanent solution and he Suggested I see someone who is specialised in electrolysis. So I did and his was one of thebest things I had ever done in my life . I am now a an electrologist and helping others the way I was helped. Just think Sofiko their is a light after the tunnel.