havn't worn shorts since I was 8 & other realities

This is my first time writing on this forum, and infact the first time, I’ve written anything down in regards to my battle with body hair. Sorry if it’s a rant, but i feel like im finally letting go of a pain that ive held on to for so long.

I am a 22 year old female,of Persian descent,who’s life has been defined by the presence of excess hair. Singing to the choir…I know (now).

Around the age of 8 was when I first realized I was different.One day my older cousin was playing with the wispy hairs of my lower back, when I reached behind her to play with hers. All my fingers felt was a beautifully smooth and hairless back. I asked my mom how this could be, and she explained that everyone is different, and that I was perfectly healthy and normal. Ofcourse I didn’t believe this. I was now noticing that my little legs and arms looked more like my brothers than any of my girlfriends.

Moving to Vancouver, Canada only hightened my sense of being different. All my new friends were either Asian or Caucasion with literally no hair on their bodies. I soon realized no one could know about my “disgusting” problem as I confided to my diary.
I avoided so many experiences, the school camping trip, my friends going to mexico for a grade 7 graduation trip, swimming,sports,going to the salon to get pedicures, all the things you look back on later in life as fond memories.

over the years i started to experiment with all the different methods of removal. i waxed, the hair started to grow in a few days and i was left with ingrown hairs and a bumpy feel. i shaved and about an hour later, no matter how close i shaved, you could feel the hair running your hands along. i bleached and used creams. nothing worked, for more than a day.i felt helpless and hopeless. looking back now, knowing i contemplated suicide when i first started seeing hair on my face, makes me want to cry.

I lived in hiding through highschool, and therefore have few memories of this time.

Fast forward to 2008, the ripe age of 19 and I now had my first boyfriend. I had avoided any sort of intimate contact that might expose my hairy situation. Puberty had taken a toll on my problem and had escalated the severe disgust I felt about myself.

Fast forward another 3 years to today and I can count on one hand, the number of times my poor boyfriend saw me completely naked. This took a significant toll on our relationship. He knew and was very accepting about my back hair, but the hair on my legs, he didnt know about.

I shaved my legs,my back and my bikin area the day before our first valentines day, so i could wear something sexy i guess. The next day when i woke up excited to get ready, i was horrified to see the condition my legs were in. stubbly and red and bumby, bikini area looked like i had road rash, my back stubbly and red. I just melted into the bathroom floor and sobbed… and sobbed. I felt trapped in a body that i hated.

My first real attempt to feel feminine, on what was supposed to be a special day, had been foiled by this nightmare. Ofcourse, my boyfriend was confused by my stand off-ish-ness, and my excuses sounded made up and forced… because they were. Although i had practiced countless times, ways i could tell him the truth, when the moment came, i was just too ashamed…

also, i never let him really touch my face, or anyone for that matter. my chin is stubbly every since i went to my first laser treatment, and the lady insisted that the super fine hairs on my chin could be taken off. she shaved my chin and neck, and ive been plucking thick stubble from the area ever since.Anyway, i couldnt bear him knowing this too. I even avoided doctors when i was in need of one. i got into a car accident and didnt even let the doc do a proper check because he asked me to remove my pants to check for any injuries. i had lower back pain, but told the doc i didnt just so he wouldnt look at my hairy back.i havnt done a pap test in a few years, havnt gone to the dentist and on and on…i realize this is not healthy.

my boyfriend put up with these excuses for the last almost 4 years , even though i hinted why it might be that my pants never came off(not even when being intimate) to this day, i cant talk about it forthright. We recently broke up I cant do this dance with anyone else. I need this incredible weight off my shoulders.

which brings me to today. This site has been like learning about hundreds of sisters i never knew i had. all these years, i thought i was one of few who was suffering, and now i know i am not alone. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART to the people who started and contribute to this site. i owe my new found zeal to finally do this seriously to you girls(and guys hehe).

Youll be hearing from me again. never again this long. thanks for reading, and again thank you.

Dear hairy,

Your openness and honesty is absolutely beautiful.

I was very hairy.

First - It is critical that us hairy folk get to see an endocrinologist to help us determine what is the cause. If you have a metabolic imbalance, then it could be treated to prevent other health issues.

As an electrologist, I see so many people ONLY begin to enjoy life after they lose the hair. I try to encourage clients to enjoy the life process and recant a personal story…

So, in my mid 20’s, I decided that my ego was preventing me from living life and finding love. I decided to brave it and open up to possible heartbreak and rejection or love and acceptance…

I met a guy and we started dating. When he moved towards me for the kiss… I pulled away and told him that I needed to talk to him about something…

I told him that I was really self conscious about my hair and that I was afraid he would feel my stubble.

It could have ended with him feeling I was a freak or he could have revealed that it was not an issue for him.

He could have revealed himself to be mean, ignorant or compassionate…

What a person reveals about themselves in these moments can help you determine if this could be a good friend or life partner…

His response, “When I visited my mom in the hospital, she told me to go into the hospital store and buy a disposable razor and shave her mustache!”

I started weeping.

He then said, “I would do the same for you”.

Sweetheart hairyhead2toe, we are presented with situations in life and then we have to make our decisions.

Being brave is scary.

Hiding is lonely.

I am so grateful for HairTell and glad you found it. You are not alone.

Hug.

First of all, thank you for sharing your emotional journey with us. hug
As a 23 year old hairy female, I understand many of the things you have felt.

For me, personally, laser has changed my life. Before that, I ALWAYS wore a sweater (I had super hairy arms) and if I had to wear a skirt, I wore pantyhose to hide the stubble (legs only smooth for a few hours). I never wore shorts no matter how hot it was.

But thankfully things have changed. I hope you find the information you need on Hairtell.

I am sorry that the issue broke your relationship apart. Just know that the right person will love you no matter what. They might sometimes even tell you to leave your hair alone and that they love you the way you are. But of course, only we know what we can live with- and that’s why we strive to get rid of hair- for ourselves and our own mental health.

It is not easy to grow up hairy in a hairless world. But thankfully there are many permanent methods now to get rid of it.

I wish you the best on your journey, keep us posted. :slight_smile:

Hairy head 2toe,

Your story reflects the hidden thoughts of many, including myself when I was a young woman. Hair hurts. My solution was to pursue ways to give me relief. All I had was electrolysis at the time - there was no laser. I am hair free where it counts. I put in the time, effort and earned the money for my own satisfaction and relief, not for the boyfriend or anyone else. I am glad I made a plan and stuck to the plan. By the way, doctors see imperfect bodies everyday. They honestly don’t care and are not shocked. Don’t sacrifice your health because of hair. Get your health checkups, please.

Are you planning to do something about your hair problem?

We have a good group of consumers and professionals here to help you sort things out. We are always here for emotional support. Arlene, you did a superb job with your beautiful response. No one could have said it better.

What a beautiful and touching thread.

I wish you great luck on your journey to be hairfree, hairyhead2toe.
Hope things work out for you :slight_smile:

hairyhead2toe, yours was one of those posts where every sentence I read I thought i was reading about myself. Feel free to PM me whenever for emotional support or whatever.

In regards to the bf part, I just broke up with the love of my life this week because even though he said he didn’t care at all about my hairiness and loved me and thought i was beautiful I still couldnt get past how grotesque i feel and felt it was unfair to put him in a relationship with someone who can’t get physically close to him anymore because they are so repulsed by themselves. He always said its not the hair i have but my attitude about it that turned him off, but I no matter what I just felt like he doesnt deserve what ive been putting him through because of the extreme emotional distress of having so much excess hair. We were together for many years and he was my first and only love and will always be the only one i want, but it goes to show you what this sort of problem can do to a person and her life.

I wish we would all follow the advice that we would give to our daughters – and live by example.

Wow!! who knew there were so many amazing people in this world, so many of which seem to be on this forum!

I’m usually not this emotional of a person, but since i wrote this and have since read every ones responses i feel like the biggest weight, which like you said comes from the constant hiding and feelings of being alone, has been lifted. I feel like i owe you all a great deal for what you may not have realized you’ve done for me.Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3

Arlene Batz, your support and story brought tears to my eyes.You are so brave to have had finally decided to really start living your life and to have had that conversation with your boyfriend, i can see why you cried when you got that response. He sounds like a keeper!

i have been to an endocrinologist, they said everything was normal, but the doc didn’t seem too interested in explaining anything past that point. i had so much hope that it may be something hormonal or medical, which i guess sounds funny. at least that way , i could point to something real and say this is why i look this way. are there any other tests i should have done?

Ennovi, I’m so happy that you are no longer bound by this problem and that laser has worked for you. hearing about these success stories gives me so much hope that i too will one day be able to look back on all this and move on from the pain. Finding hairtell has definitely been a saving grace for my mental health.

I try explaining it to my mom, who’s very supportive and has been amazing with helping me when i’ve been at my lowest, but no one really understands what its like to get up every morning, and think about the best ways to hide your hair.especially if its summer(which i dread every year) when wearing a scarf makes you look like you’re crazy, and wearing long sleeves and pants just leads to excess sweating and overheating. I have pretty hairy arms too( im going to start posting pictures soon) my hairs arn’t thick or coarse but they are black and dense, i just went in for a laser consult, and the lady said there are no lasers that will be able to work on thin hairs like mine.which was pretty disappointing… she suggested the softlight laser, but said that would only blonden the hair, which is not what i want. were your arm hairs thick?

dfahey- its make me happy that with your dedication, u managed to make this not be a problem for you anymore :slight_smile: at least the electrolysis made sure it would be permanent! up until now i was only looking at my options within the realm of lasers, but ever since hairtell, im leaning towards wanting to pursue electrolysis, especially on my face.

you are very right about the doctor issue. i know they have seen it all but its literally my worst nightmare to have to reveal this about myself… to anyone.but recently i have tried to get over these feelings, because i figure,if i dont have my health, then im really screwed and will inevitably have to see many more doctors anyways.

knowing you guys are here, will make this process soooo much easier. i know i can trust your opinions and advice which takes a load off from the world of info that is out there.

i am definitely planning on doing as much as i can. i will be posting pictures of everything soon, and so would be so appreciative for any advice on the types of laser or method of electrolysis that anyone thinks might or might not work for me.

Im so excited to share my journey with you all :slight_smile:

hairyhead2toe,
I sent you a private message, but I also thought I should share my feelings/stories here as well along with the others.

Growing up with this issue was pretty hard and I can say that it has almost completely shaped my life. I cannot tell you how many times I was called “hairy” throughout middle/high school. It was really hard. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and I felt like no one understood what I was going through. I was never that girl that wore the latest fashionable clothes, nor was I the girl that couldn’t wait to put on her bikini in the summer - all those hours of pain: shaving, waxing, threading, just for 1-2 days of being completely smooth and hair-free just so I could go to the beach wasn’t worth it.
If only you knew how many hours I cried over my “hairy” problem; how many times I wished I could be “normal”…so I truly understand.
After high school, I remember confessing to my mom how big of an issue this had been to me, but she didn’t fully understand. She thought that I was making it a bigger deal that it actually was. I told her she didn’t know what it was like to be called “hairy” each time during gym class by the other kids.

You are not alone.

I wish the best of luck to you.

Dear wildbeast, im so sorry to hear about the loss of someone that you love so much. reading what you wrote is exactly what i would have written if i had elaborated on the breaking up of my relationship minus the knowing he’s the only one for me. although my problem wasnt the sole reason for it, it played a huge role in the daily dynamic of our relationship.he said he didnt care either and was always trying to prove it to me. But it obviously takes a toll on the relationship, no matter how that person feels, if you pull away anytime someone tries to touch you. the feelings of disgust with yourself eat away at you. i love my ex dearly, but unlike you, im happy ( i cant really say happy, b/c it just ended two weeks ago)we are no longer together. he cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship, and even though ive forgiven him, i wont ever be able to forget.

have you already done, or planning to do anything about your hair?

Here is a photo of how my arm hair looked: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/195/picture661.jpg/

You can find more pics in my thread. The upper arm hair was definitely not course enough to treat. But I am treating the lower arm hair and so far, I like what I see. :slight_smile: I am not sure how many more sessions I’ll need, but I didn’t even remember that my arm hair looked like that!!! :open_mouth:

Your other option might be electrolysis if the hair is not thick enough. You could also ask for a test patch at at a reputable laser place and see if you notice any results. That is what I did first.

Hope this helps.

Please, stop spamming! It is not nice!

Sorry havn’t posted for a while, life has been hectic as of late.

Just a little update: After the first disasterous experience with electrolysis on my face, where I had lots of scabbing and what seemed to be lots of little breakouts, I got a little discouraged. After I did alot more research, I found a promising office that only did electrolysis; this was a big plus for me.

I had my consult on the 5th of December. The office was sooo much better than the first one I had gone too. Everything looked clean and sterile yet inviting. The lady was very warm and understanding to my needs,explained her method and told me her expectations for how long my case may take. She said I would start to see real results after 3 months, and that she guaranteed her work and would refund my money if I didn’t see results!

She had me lay down on the table to start my free 15 minute session, which went really well. She uses the Apilus cleo, and disposable gold plated needles. I didn’t feel any of the insertions, unlike the other clinic. She cleared a good amount in that time on my sideburns and I was very happy with my skins reaction after the fact.

One week later, I went in for my first actual treatment session. She said it would take 1 hour to clear my sideburns, a little on the cheek and my whole chin/neck area. She hammered away for nearly two hours which had me slightly worried for the cost. When it came time to pay, she said it would only be 70$ which is her one hour rate. shocked… I said but you worked for nearly two hours, I’ll pay for the work you did! She said that because she had quoted me for one hour and I was a student and it’s christmas time, she’d only charge me the one hour! I thanked her profusely and left very satisfied with her work.

My skin was only lightly red and had very few breakouts. I even went to work 2 hours later and noone noticed I had done anything!

I am scheduled to go in for the 27th for my second clearing which is booked for 1 hour,I will update with pictures soon!!

Also, Is the apilus cleo a good machine?

Is the Apilus Cleo a good machine? Let’s put it this way, it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a Mercedes A-Class and a Honda Fit (the A-Class has looked like that since the 90’s) but the A-Class is still a Mercedes.

Sure, people riding around in their S-Class and CLK’s and AMG’s will look down their noses, but most other people will still say, “You have a Mercedes?” :smiley:


Hi, hairyhead2toe! I’m so excited for your treatments. It sucks that we have to spend our money and time on treatments while not-so-hairy people are spending it on other things, but we do what we have to. You’re right when you said that this is something we really have to save up for and invest in. I started my laser treatments for my coarse leg hair when I was about your age. I’m still working on other body parts now, but my wardrobe has drastically changed for the better. They include skirts, shorts, and swimsuits now. I totally understand what you were saying about not being able to go for pedicures. Seems so trivial/strange to others but I had my first pedicure at a salon last year, aged 25. LOL. My bare leg was touched and closely seen by the nail technician whilst she worked on my nails. This is something so normal to other people but to me, it felt like a dream! I’m glad you found a good electrologist. The important thing is we are doing something about the problem. We are on our way :slight_smile:

hairyhead2toe i’m so proud and happy for you. i’m glad that even though you had a rough experience with your first electrolysis that you didn’t give up and found one that was right for you. i totally feel your pain and your story touched my heart profoundly. you are definitely not alone and like you, i too am glad i found this forum. even if one hasn’t done any hair removal methods yet on themselves, just reading these threads is empowering. i wish you all the best and look forward to reading updates on your livelihood. “Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”~Elie Weisel

arlene you have an awesome spirit! your response was heartwarming and couldn’t have been said any better. thanks for sharing ladies!

Hello. I more or less know what you’ve been going through, OP. I am a 23 year old, reclusive, depressed female. I’ve wasted most of my youth hiding in disgust, avoiding just about everyone and everything, having to wear pants…

I realize that I have one of the lesser forms of hairiness. My hair is just dark and abundant, not thick. Shaving causes me to get ingrown hair and bumps, and the hair always grows back really fast. Unfortunately I haven’t had the courage, luck, or money to try laser treatment.

Am I the only one that has other issues apart from this? One of the other issues I have is acne. My jawline, neck, and back are my biggest concerns, especially my back. I have to wear tops that cover my back because my back has breakouts and scars. The tops must ALSO have sleeves because I have nasty underarm shadows! :frowning:

Anyway, I am happy to be here. I apologize if this post came out a little scatteredbrained.

Does this place offer any type of meetups?