Hairy nipples affecting relationship =(

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Hi there, I’m new. Thank God I’ve found this forum!

So basically, I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over two years, and I’ve been having electrolysis on my nipples for just coming up tooo…5-6 months maybe? I go once every two weeks.

Now, I’m 100% sure my boyfriend knows of my problem, but he’s lovely enough to know that I never want to talk about it or even mention it. He tells me he loves me the way I am and I’m perfect etc etc and although I appreciate it, it still doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with him looking at my boobs, EVER.

But, as a man, he wants to look at my boobs, and he wants me to feel confident sitting there topless in front of him. BUT THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Even after I’ve had my latest session and there’s no hair, the area is still a little red and you can tell somethings gone on there. This is why I don’t think I’ll ever be confident enough to let him look at my boobs in natural daylight, or when we’re having sex or whatever.

Has anyone gone/going through this? It really gets me down because I so desperately want to please him because he does absolutely everything for me, and come on! He’s a man! Men love boobs! haha

As for the electrolysis itself, to be honest…I can’t say I’ve really seen a difference. The hairs are still just as strong, by the time my next appointment comes there are just as many hairs as I used to have, and like another woman said in another thread, when the lady plucks out the hair, it never really comes out easily. Most of the time it just feels like when I used to pluck.

I thought electrolysis was 100% permanent? Especially on dark hairs on fair skin. Is there any such think as 100% permanent hair removal?

#2

Do you know if you’re having thermolysis or blend done on this area (do you have to hold a rod?)? My first practitioner used thermolysis and I had a huge skin reaction to that and not fantastic results. I would get a lot of scabbing, ingrown hairs, and it felt like plucking. I switched to a blend practitioner about five weeks ago and the hairs she zapped have yet to return and no ingrowns either! I would try switching practitioners if I were you.

#3

I agree with KLT55. I have been having Blend on this area and it’s worked really well. There are still a few hairs that need to go… they are much finer than previously though but obviously very resilient! My redness is gone in a few hours too.
To give you an example, I go every 3-4 weeks now (for face) and there are only about 3 or 4 hairs (not coarse) that need to be zapped in this area.

The hairs should slide out without any resistance.

Look around for a new electrologist. If you can get them cleared in one session, you should be relatively hair free in that area for about 6 weeks. Once every two weeks seems a lot unless the appointments are very short and you’re not getting all of them done.

Electrolysis is permanent if done correctly!

1 Like
#4

Thanks so much for the replies! x x

So, I do have to hold a rod, is that blend then?

My appointments never last longer than 15 minutes, and usually cost between £18 and £21. Like I said earlier, 2 weeks is long enough for all the hairs to have fully grown so they can be zapped. I once went a week after and the hairs were very few, very fair, weak and easy to remove. However, I can’t afford to go 4 times a month really. And they still started growing after 5-6 days, albeit fair and weak etc =(

I think the biggest problem is the fact that most of the hairs she zaps still really do need a good tug on the tweezers to get them out (so she’s pretty much just plucking them and charging me for it!), so perhaps she isn’t leaving the needle thing in long enough? Or maybe the strength she’s using isn’t strong enough?

Sometimes however, on active (or is it non-active?) hairs, I get a really harsh pain when the needle is in. Is that normal? Because if she did turn up the strength, wouldn’t it hurt more? Should I tell her when it hurts? Should I suggest she turn it up or leave it in for longer?

On a side note, I used to get laser treatment on my upper lip, and that’s gone so well that I haven’t been back for coming up to a year! Would laser work better on nipples?

EDIT: Can I also just say, that after reading some of the other posts on this site, I am very thankful and consider myself very lucky that I don’t have as big a problem as some other ladies do on here. Some of the stories and truly heartbreaking and make me wish that there was something that could be done to end all this suffering, and it really is suffering for some people. It’s also making me put my little problem into perspective =)

#5

I thought thermoylsis is just as good as blend? Shouldn’t she be seeing results afte this long??? I hear so many different things for each…I’m starting to wonder if thermolysis is worth it now?

#6

desperate18 from what I know (experts, please feel free to correct me), thermolysis is much more difficult to be proficient with. some electrologists that use it, just aren’t very good at it.

jessica - either way, blend or thermolysis, you should be seeing results now if it’s working. If you were a plucker previously, on your first electro session, many of the hairs wouldn’t have been there. You’d get cleared and then yes, a week or two later you’d need to go back to clear the new ones that come up. But this doesn’t last long. 5-6 months later you SHOULD see a difference if it is being done right. If my experience is anything to go by, by the 6 month mark, it will be an odd few hairs every few weeks.

We could talk all day about what she could be doing wrong but the fact that you haven’t seen results means there is definitely something. Look for a new practioner.

Laser will work if they are coarse and dark but I think in this area it is also possible it will stimulate more growth in the surrounding finer hair?

#7

How many treatments have you had in the last year with thermolysis? Have you received a full clearance everytime? Your appointment should last as long as it takes to get all the visible hair. You should walk out cleared each and every time you have a treatment on your areola’s.

Properly performed thermolysis with the largest probe possible will get you hair-free. Small probe sizes equal more regrowth if those hairs are very coarse. I don’t know what your electrologist is doing. All modalities of electrolysis work.

I find this area to be very easy to treat if I have a compliant client.

#8

Hi Jessica,

Firstly let me say I understand your feelings … I’ve had tons and am having tons more hair removal work done… over huge parts of my male body and face… It’s not been an easy ride…

However, it’s not your hairy nipples affecting your r’ship, it’s your attitude to your self. If anything would drive your boyfriend away it would be your attitude of being down on yourself, hiding yourself thus denying him what he wants - you! For if you reject your b’friends affections because you think he’d be repulsed by a few hairs, it’s your behaviour (being cold, tense and unaffectionate) and not the hairs that could send him looking elsewhere… for affection!

I’ve seen this in my own life. My wife likes my natural hairy state but when I am down on myself about it (or post-treatment healing horrors :wink: that is the real downer in the r’ship. That is what would drive someone away. Locking one’s self away, denying them the company they want and need.

Conversely I have gone out with several quite hirsute women and it was great because they had a confident attitude about themselves. I think hairs around nipples are really cute. It’s actually very common. One g’friend was very proud of them so it was a very fun thing. Those hairy (natural) women were a lot of fun to be around. They were very attractive. and because they projected confidence, I felt confident to be around them.

Confidence breeds confidence, insecurity breeds insecurity.

So the real battle is one’s attitude to one’s self! By all means get the work done, like I am, but stay positive and proud of yourself at all times.

With best wishes, R.

#9

Hi Jessica,

I really agree with aussierobert had to say.
Jessica are the hairs around your nipples countable? Have you tweezed them or removed them any other way before you ever did electrolysis? If so how long did you tweeze them for?

#10

You are going every 2 weeks and achieving full clearance, for 5-6months - sounds like a normal plucking cycle, not effective electrolysis!

#11

@stoppit&tidyup:
You’re right, it definitely sounds like a normal plucking cycle, and without doubt I should definitely be seeing results by now as I haven’t plucked ONCE since I’ve started going for treatment, so surely she must have got all of the hairs by now too. And, like I keep saying, I really don’t think I’ve seen any reduction in the number or hairs. I think I may have to start going elsewhere, but I don’t think there is another practitioner in my immediate area, so I might have to go to the next town.

How should I tell her I no longer want treatment? I know it’s silly, but I don’t want to offend her :S

And thanks for your thoughts on laser. I can see what you’ve said about the surrounding hairs being very true.

@dfahey:
I started treatment mid-November last year, and have been going once every two weeks without fail. So come this Wednesday, 28th April 2010 (one day before my birthday!!), I’ve had about 12 treatments.

I can confidently say that all the hairs are always removed by the end of the session. I never get ingrown hairs (and if I do, they are very easy to just scrape out with a nail) and I’ve never plucked since I have started treatment, so there’s never an issue with hairs that aren’t fully grown yet for her to see.

@aussierobert
Thank you so much for your kind words! =)
I know that what men (and women!) always say that what is most attractive in the opposite sex is confidence, which is why it really sucks that I’m not, because I want to be. So desperately. This whole hairy nipple drama has really affected my whole confidence since I hit puberty really.
As big headed as its sounds, I am a fairly attractive girl, and when I was younger, boys in high school could never understand why I never wanted to get close to them or have a boyfriend, or have sex, and it was always because I’d think, “Yeah, you THINK I’m pretty, but if you only knew the truth =(” And I think like that now when people pay me a compliment. I go all shy and awkward and want to leave.
But then luckily, I found my lovely boyfriend, who I just somehow knew would be nice enough to just accept me the way I am. And like I said, no matter how much he says he loves me the way I am, I’m just convinced that if he ever did see (or touch!) one of these little hairs, inside, he’d actually be really repulsed, and maybe didn’t expect it to be that gross. I’d be devastated if it happened. I don’t like him touching my boobs sometimes. I get really cross and flip over on my front (in bed) so he can’t get to them. It’s so stupid and mean. I love him to bits and I just really need to get over this. Your words really have reminded me of this fact to be honest. So thank you , again x x

@milli
They are countable =( This is really embarrassing but…I can count around 9 on each nipple, and there’s still 6 days until my next appointment, so there’ll probably be more by then. And no, I have only ever tweezed before. No shaving or cutting or anything like that. Tweezing used to give me really bad ingrown hairs too. Since having electrolysis I haven’t had any like that again.

1 Like
#12

I had this area treated. It sounds like you’re not getting good treatments. I had thermolysis done on most other areas, but had to do blend on this area because the hairs are deep and most electrologists can’t tackle it with thermolysis. If you’re holding a rod, that’s likely blend. However, it sounds like this electrologist is basically plucking, i.e. insertions are not good.

Where are you located? There are recommendations for Sharon at Parkside Beauty on this forum, who is in London. You mentioned pounds, so I’m assuming you’re in the UK, but not sure if you’re in London or close to it.

If you get good treatments, you’d only need to go once every 2-3 weeks for a few months. After that, you’d go once every 3-4 weeks and will be done at around 12 months.

Start your search for a better electrologist.

Also, use witch hazel during the day and tea tree oil at night for aftercare.

1 Like
#13

That sounds like a page out of my diary haha. You’re lucky that it’s only on your breasts. At the height of my hair paranoia I was living in a sorority house getting up at 5AM to shave/bleach my legs/arms/tummy/face so I could pretend I was as hairless as the other girls. I used to date guys for a few months and then break up with them before sex became an issue because I knew I couldn’t keep up the hairless image 24/7. By my sophomore year I got nicknamed the ADD heartbreaker (along with maneater, high maintenance b***h etc) because everyone thought I got bored easily and went through tons of guys. Little did they know I was just the hairy heartbreaker who wanted to keep her secret! Junior year I met my first long term boyfriend who made it clear he didn’t care about the hair at all and wouldn’t get grossed out if I didn’t shave my legs for a few days. If the guy loves you, he loves ALL of you including the hair. You just have to give them a chance, and not just assume they’ll be grossed out because you might mess up a great relationship that way (trust me, I would know haha).

1 Like
#14

@LAgirl
Yes, I am from the UK, and London is just over an hour away on the train. However, it does usually cost around £22 for a ticket, but if this lady you’ve mentioned really is worth trying (as I assume she’s got good reviews on this site) then perhaps I should pay. Besides, if I really would only have to go once every 2-3 weeks, surely I’d be saving a bit of money, and more importantly, I’d be more happy as I’d actually be seeing some progress.
I’ll give them a call and check out their prices. Thank you!

@KLT55
Hehe! “Hairy heartbreaker” =D
Like I said in my opening post, I do have to count myself very lucky considering some of the other stories on this site. Also, my younger sister (who is 18) had to go through pretty much the same routine as you described, as she was really sporty in high school and involved in all the teams etc. She is a lot lot darker than I (skin colour and hair), and has a hairy tummy, hairy arms and a lot of hair down the side of her face. I do really feel for her as she is still yet to get close with a guy, probably for this reason. We do laugh about how my mum always wants us to go to the gym with her or go swimming, and it’s like, “You don’t understand! Girls like us can’t just decide we want to go swimming or wear a skirt or something! There’s a certain hairy protocol we have to adhere to!” However, I haven’t ever told her about this personal little problem as I’m still embarrassed about it, even with her.

As for my man, he’s lovely when it comes to my hairy legs whilst I’m waiting for a wax, or hairy pits before I shave. I also have really hairy arms, but the hairs are blonde so it’s not as obvious, and he always teases my by pulling them when I piss him off =) AND! Last night actually, I let him cup my boobs before I went to sleep and tried really really hard not to flinch or shove him away.

I do love this forum. It has really helped already!

#15

@jessica

Sharon is my electrologist and she is very good. I think nearly all the London based hairtell users who have electrolysis go to Parkside beauty now and see Sharon.

The consultation is free but to be honest, I would book it with 15mins of treatment time afterwards. So you will get about 5mins of treatment during the consult plus the 15mins you pay for. It will make your journey worthwhile. That should more than clear it - you’ll probably have a few mins left to work elsewhere to be honest. Sorted!

I would let all the hair come through (just shave it), then when it’s a mm or two, go for your first session. After that, they should come back pretty slowly! And wait until there is enough to warrant another 15min sess and the £22 train ticket.
I would say that would be longer than 2-3 weeks (or maybe just the first time).

#16

i have a question regarding the blend treatment…a few people have mentioned here that i you’re holding a rod then thats the blend treatment??? what exactly does this mean? because the salon i go to claim they are using the blend method but i have never held a rod or anything like that??

im so confused now!

#17

It is possible to do blend with different kinds of “inactive poles.” It could be an electrified rubber, or an electrode patch that is affixed to the skin, or a metal pole, or something covered in sponge. Blend requires a completed circuit, so one has to be connected to the machine from two points.

The easiest way to help you understand is that the machine usually has one red wire, and the probe/needle cord is usually black. You need only figure out how they are making contact with your body via the red wire. The black wire is connecting through the hair follicle.

#18

I have found that the only way electrolysis would work on certain areas for me (and my breasts are now clear, yay!) is if I went every week. 2 weeks was just too much time in between for me. Try it and good luck!

#19

If the goal is to keep clear, and look like you are finished, one might need to get treatment once a week, or once every 2 to 3 weeks. On the other hand, if one is just looking for removing all the hairs before they fall out of phase, once every 6 to 8 weeks is enough.

#20

I just gotta say, reading this is like literal validation. Currently in college, waking up earlier than ever, doing all I can to look like these other girls. And boy it is ROUGH. reading this made me feel a little better.

1 Like