I have facial hair, mainly a moustache and sideburns and hair on my neck. The rest of me I feel is a bit hairier than normal (whatever that is), but facial hair is my main issue because you can’t hide it under clothes and your face is usually the first thing people look at when they see you.
I have let my facial hair control nearly every aspect of my life. It is always at the back of my mind when i am talking with people and when walking down the street in the daylight, when meeting new people or even when just sitting in a cafe, wondering if they will notice it or not. In the past I have overheard people comment on it and laugh about it which has deeply upset me and I usually end up crying about the hairs on my face.
I go over the situations in my head when people have laughed at me and nudged each other, I look in the mirror exmaining my face at different angles and under diffderent lights, I look at other women and notice how much facial hair they have, I feel paraniod when I see people whispering to each other, I weigh up the pros of cons of different ways to get rid of it or disguise it, I could go on but bascially it controls so many aspects of my life - I’m obssesed.
Self criticism, self-battering chatter, social phobia and anxiety have all been a part of my hairy problem. I have suffered in the past from bulimia and one doctor said I may have PCOS, but now I am eating right again my hormones seem back to normal and I’m just left with a very hairy face.
Western society places so much on physical image these days, especially in girls, that is not surprising that we are kept crazy by excess hair problems. Getting over this is hard so as to not let our appearance be such a focus in our lives.
I have found cultivating self-love and self accpetance important and remember my inside qualities and my positive attributes. I don’t need approval from everybody in society and if somebody doesn’t like me because I’ve got a hairy lip then I don’t want to know them. If they are that shallow to form an opinion of a person on somebody’s body or facial hair then they are not worth knowing. We should not let them get us down.
We cannot consciously control how hair grows on us, but we can try to control our feelings about it. We always have a choice. We can try not to judge ourselves, remember our positive attributes and even try to have sense of humour about our bodies when we can.
In a practical way, there are permanent solutions when we find the right people, its just perseverance and of course cash.
This is a bit of long rambling post, so if you’ve got this far thanks for reading and letting me share my feelings,
I hope it makes some sense! - ali <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />