Feelings about facial hair

I have facial hair, mainly a moustache and sideburns and hair on my neck. The rest of me I feel is a bit hairier than normal (whatever that is), but facial hair is my main issue because you can’t hide it under clothes and your face is usually the first thing people look at when they see you.

I have let my facial hair control nearly every aspect of my life. It is always at the back of my mind when i am talking with people and when walking down the street in the daylight, when meeting new people or even when just sitting in a cafe, wondering if they will notice it or not. In the past I have overheard people comment on it and laugh about it which has deeply upset me and I usually end up crying about the hairs on my face.

I go over the situations in my head when people have laughed at me and nudged each other, I look in the mirror exmaining my face at different angles and under diffderent lights, I look at other women and notice how much facial hair they have, I feel paraniod when I see people whispering to each other, I weigh up the pros of cons of different ways to get rid of it or disguise it, I could go on but bascially it controls so many aspects of my life - I’m obssesed.

Self criticism, self-battering chatter, social phobia and anxiety have all been a part of my hairy problem. I have suffered in the past from bulimia and one doctor said I may have PCOS, but now I am eating right again my hormones seem back to normal and I’m just left with a very hairy face.

Western society places so much on physical image these days, especially in girls, that is not surprising that we are kept crazy by excess hair problems. Getting over this is hard so as to not let our appearance be such a focus in our lives.

I have found cultivating self-love and self accpetance important and remember my inside qualities and my positive attributes. I don’t need approval from everybody in society and if somebody doesn’t like me because I’ve got a hairy lip then I don’t want to know them. If they are that shallow to form an opinion of a person on somebody’s body or facial hair then they are not worth knowing. We should not let them get us down.

We cannot consciously control how hair grows on us, but we can try to control our feelings about it. We always have a choice. We can try not to judge ourselves, remember our positive attributes and even try to have sense of humour about our bodies when we can.

In a practical way, there are permanent solutions when we find the right people, its just perseverance and of course cash.

This is a bit of long rambling post, so if you’ve got this far thanks for reading and letting me share my feelings,
I hope it makes some sense! - ali <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Ali:

I think your feelings reflect the feelings of many here. I always tell readers to start on their face if they have several areas of concern. I also tell people that in some ways our anxiety is irrational, but that doesn’t make it any less real. The other day I found a long hair on the side of my face, and my first thought was, “Oh my goodness, how could I have missed that? How many people saw that and didn’t say anything?”

After my little panic, I plucked it and checked the rest of my face methodically. I know women who do this every morning. While it’s not that bad for me now, it used to be. The solution was relatively simple: remove the unwanted hair on my face. In my case, that took a while, but it also eliminated almost all the anxiety I have about unwanted hair.

In some cases, the anxiety won’t go away until the hair does. In fact, it might be cheaper and easier to remove the hair than to go on some anti-anxiety drug or spend hours at a therapist’s trying to gain self-acceptance. The only danger is that some people sort of fixate on unwanted hair as the source of all their problems. This sets up unrealistic expectations about what hair removal can do to change your life. Yes, it can make a difference, in some cases a huge one, but if you tend to worry a lot before you remove the hair, it’s likely you will find something else to worry about after.

Having said that, removing my facial hair remains one of the best investments I have made in myself. It can be a simple, elegant solution to something that causes discomfort. I hope everyone reading this can find a story here from someone who shares your issues, and that you can find some help and hope! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Alisonnice, I understand you. Have the same feelings. But, if one thinks about it, why do people in our world have this stupid “realtions” with hair on face? Or why do people take so much pills to make the hair not to fall out of their scalp? Isnt it stupid? It is natural - so why do we fight so much with it?! When hair grows on face or when it falls out of sculp - we dont want it, we did not do it on purpose and therefore we should not be blamed. That is just our stupid world and the stupid nonwritten rules in it, therefore we, unfortenately, suffer so much. But we should not give up.

Artuher i think that is a really good way to look at! I completely agree with what you are saying our world is ignorance and unfortunatley for women with facial hair we do get hushed whispers behind our backs. I have only recently found this web site and i think it is brilliant to find people with the same problems and anxieties. Your comments definitley put a smile on my face!