I’ll be 24 years old in 20 days. When I was in the 11th grade, someone noticed that I had long, dark hairs sprouting along my neck. Embarrassed, because I’d never really paid attention to it before, I ducked my head and when I got home…I took a ‘finishing touch’ personal groomer and shaved the area. I thought this was safe cause it was like a hair cut rather than shaving. Well, I decided I’d do the same thing to the sides of my face. My upper lip, strangely, I left alone and chose only to bleach it as the years went on. Why didn’t I just do this with the rest of the hair, I don’t know. I wish I could turn back the clock.
At some point, I decided to actually shave the areas. I don’t remember when this was and it’s one of those things that I’d do over if I could. Because it’s a habit that once you start, you have to keep doing. Every morning when I take a shower, I shave my sideburn areas, my jawline, corners of my chin, and my neck because I have to. For seven years now. I’ve invested in nice shaving lotions formulated for sensitive areas, like Coochy, and have a special razor that I only use on my face.
Dark hair covers my stomach with a line in the center (happy trail) and as I get older, where it used to be just a line up the center…the darkness continues to spread outwards. I used to just have long, dark hairs surrounding the areola but now it has spread all over my chest and seems to be making a path towards my shoulders. I had long, dark hair at the small of my back that I used to shave but nowadays I forget about it since no one sees it anyway. But again, the hair on the rest of my back had been blonde. Now it’s darkening with random really long/dark hairs in some areas. The hair on my arms is long and dark and I have hair on the fat part of my fingers as well as the sides of my hands. My toes sprout hair. The pubic hair…oi. It doesn’t help that I have very fair skin.
The last time I went to my ob/gyn, I spoke of my concerns about PCOS. But she kind of brushed it off and said that she didn’t feel any cysts on my ovaries and that PCOS was only really a problem if you were trying to get pregnant. I have to have a hormonal imbalance…I just have to!
I never stay off anywhere because I have to shave my face in the morning. Where some people can go a day or two without having a shower, I have to have a shower in the morning regardless so I can take care of this. And while it’s still not visible some 12+ hours later, you can feel it if you were to touch it. I’m terrified of getting serious with a guy and not being able to let him touch my face or forgetting to stop him and him recoiling because I have a 5 oclock shadow. Then if there was a morning after you know…having to jump up and shower before he wakes up. Because let’s be honest…what guy wants to date a girl who has to shave like he does? Then there’s the fact that cause the skin of my neck/chest turns red at the slightest aggravation, my neck is red for a little while after shaving.
I have acne. I’m overweight. My periods are irregular to the point where I’m doubtful if I can even have children…but this, THIS…this is the problem that debilitates me the most. That if this problem did not exist for me…my life would be so much better.
You gotta tell me there’s a light at the end of the tunnel here. I’m making an appointment tomorrow for my yearly physical and I’m going to talk about this with my gyno. I’ve heard about this cream called Vaniqa but that’s still something that only slows the growth, not get rid of. There’s a laser hair removal clinic in my area that I’ve thought about calling and making a consultation. The only areas I’d really want removed above all others is the face. The rest…bleaching and whatnot I guess I could deal with and I’d get a tan to hopefully make it not as noticeable. But it’s just the face…the face.
I’m tired of being hairy. So tired.