Facial Hair

I am a man, and I know that it’s acceptable to have male facial hair…we can even grow beards…so part of me feels I shouldn’t complain, or be self-concscious.

I don’t think it’s something I can control.

I was one of the unfortunate few to grow a TON of very thick hair that expands across my face…as high as within an inch of my eye.

I can’t shave everyday because the hair is curly and I get plenty of ingrowns. Even if I do shave, it’s back within 4 hours. Talk about Testosterone.

What makes it worse is that throughout my life, I’ve gotten various comments that really fuel this insecurity. The comments are usually about how different I look with facial hair, how awful it is, or how I should “learn to shave better.” (I spend at least 30-40 minutes hacking through that thing every other day…I think I know plenty about shaving)

I have plenty of hair elsewhere on my body, but I feel like the face is the worst. It’s the first thing people notice about you, and, unfortunately, they can’t help but judge you by it.

Anyway, lately I’ve found myself avoiding social contact when I have facial hair. It’s a depressing way to live, and a lonely way to live. I can’t really explain why I go into hermit mode to my friends (I don’t think they’d understand)*, and they end up assuming I don’t care about them. Anyone else relate?

*I should mention I did try explaining my feelings to a friend at one time. The friend, not being hairy at all, called me “neurotic” and told me to get over it. This is a good person generally, but there’s just no way anyone without an excess of hair ever would understand.

Dear Monster,

It is very comforting to avoid the world.
I tend to be very reclusive myself.
Hmmm… coping mechanisms… what to do… what to do…

First, go talk to a physician and find out if you have a medical condition causing the excessive hair growth as it could be a symptom of something else. Get that out of the way.

Next, consider finding an electrologist for permanent hair removal on your upper cheeks and create a less dense beard for you overall.

Or, live among the rest of us imperfect folks and count your blessings.