Depressed -- Looking for some help

Hey all,

  Over the past nine months I had been undergoing what I thought was laser treatment. As it turns out, the treatment I was actually undergoing was some high intensity light that does not work as well. In fact, it did not work at all. So, I decided to go for a change and I found a very reputable doctor's office that performs laser treatment. I met with the technician and she said "yeah, we can make this work." I guess over the past nine months I had become so used to the treatment not working that I almost assumed this one would not work as well. But, as fate would have it, that was not the case. In fact, it seems to have worked very well...kind of. It is now five days later, my skin is bumpy, I have red blotchy marks all over and I am depressed. 
     Let me back up a step though. I had the treatment done to my chest and stomach. I had an incredible amount of hair there and for many years I had shaved and waxed to get it removed. Both methods only offered temporary relief and I sought something more permanent. The cause of wanting the hair gone was the perception that it looked awful and that I would not get girls. Over the years however I did get more girls and continued to shave, believing that this was partially the reason why. 
     I probably should have come to this forum BEFORE I got the hair treatment, but hindsight is always 20/20. I am depressed now. I fear that my hair will grow back in spots on my chest and stomach and more importantly, that my manhood has somewhat been "stripped." My girlfriend does not know about the treatments and I won't let her see me without my shirt off for I am afraid that her reaction will be that she is dating a weirdo (we have not been going out that long but she is unbelievable). So I guess I am looking for some do I handle this situation? Will it look unnatural and awful when it grows back in? If anything, I am pretty convinced now that if it does grow back in the normal range that I will never want to get rid of it again, it just sucks that I had to have laser treatment to figure that out. Please help, there's not many other people I would feel comfortable sharing this with. Thank you all. 


  1. please tell us a bit more about your treatments. skin and hair type? what type of laser used now?

  2. your reaction seems normal. redness around the follicles is a good sign. it sounds like you go an effective treatment. it’s too early to tell if it’s patchy. even if areas are overlapped properly when treated, the redness pattern can vary. you need to wai 3 weeks and let us know how shedding goes. that’s when you can really tell how it went. if the doctor did miss a few spots, just talk to him next time and ask to make sure that he treats every little spot and overlaps by 10% to avoid missing anything. chest and stomach usually respond well to treatment.

  3. now, for your dilemma. i think you’re unnecessarily worried too much about your girlfriend finding out. first, chances are she already knows and chooses not to care, as most girls don’t care about that (after all, hair on chest and stomach is completely normal on a guy, as opposed to back hair for example which is not as accepted publicly), and i’m speaking from experience as a girl. if you shaved before, i’m sure she was still able to tell that the area was shaved and she doesn’t care. it’s probably more weird to her if you choose not to take your shirt off without an explanation that makes sense <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> i know that in magazines and public media it seems like men don’t have any body hair, but in reality, that is just not true. women are not looking for a guy based on how much hair he has. if she’s already interested in you, that is not going to turn her off. this hair removal will make you more confident in the long run, but it is still a process that will take a while with some up and downs (hair growing in, then shedding, etc, repeated over 8 treatments or so at least, spaced 8-12 weeks apart). i think you need to talk to your gf and tell her what you’re doing. if you think she likes a hairless appearance, i don’t see why she wouldn’t be supportive. and if she doesn’t care, even better.

I’ve had many talks with my wife about this topic. Women do so many things to improve their appearance that they are pretty use to it. It is not thought of as that big of deal.
Guys usually do nothing overboard to improve their looks so it is somewhat strange when we go through a procedure-laser etc. Guys feel ashamed or abnormal.
A woman would probably understand more than any guy when it comes to physical characteristics a person wants to change or enhance. Every morning a woman puts the makeup on etc. Your girlfriend might be the best person to bond with over this subject. If she doesn’t understand it will not be any easier down the road when real issues come up. Just my opinion.

If you have hair all over you, shoulders, back, chest, …I am almost 99.9% sure that she will have no problem with you going for treatments. Truth behold, she may have a problem with the hair, she may not. I’ve found that every girl I’ve dated had a problem with my hair, whether they admitted it to me or not. Because, after I told them adn showed them things went downhill after that. You have to realize though, that I have a cloak of hair on my upper arms, back of neck, and shoulders. Alot of girls really don’t mind hairy chests and stomach. Just trim it and u’d be fine.