Birthday Depression

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Guys, it’s my birthday. I’m too old to still be dealing with this crap. Ugh. My legs are hair free from laser currently, so I decided to wear a skirt for dinner (I NEVER wear skirts/dresses), but I still feel horribly insecure. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll spend all this money on hair removal only to find out I’m insecure about so many other things that I still can’t enjoy my life (weight, skin tone, freckles/moles, pimples, facial features, etc…) Actually, I don’t “wonder”, because I already know it’s true. I’m insecure about way too much to ever begin to afford to fix it all, sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to look attractive at all.

After years of struggling to look pretty, my face still looks like crap, and my body looks like double-crap. The only difference now is that I am a semi-hairless piece of crap. And I’ve already passed my prime, so everyday I’ll be slightly older and slightly crappier. Never quite as “pretty” (to use the term very loosely) as the day before.

I am supposed to be getting ready to leave, but I can’t even look in the mirror right now without crying and then my make up runs and my face is all red and puffy and so I’ve been surfing the internet doing anything possible to distract myself. I tried to cancel dinner but everyone yelled at me.

sigh

This is how people become drug addicts, I swear to god. I can’t fathom a single compelling reason right now to stay alert and coherent or even conscious. Existing SUCKS when you’re ugly and old.

#2

Happy Birthday!
Everyone has insecurities about themselves throughout life. Older people want to be wrinkles free and look younger so they are sucked into the cosmetics industry and plastic surgeries. Teenagers want to be acne free. Girls want to be like super models and guys want to be tall and have six pack abs. Many have unrealistic expectations. You shouldn’t feel pessimistic and depressed especially on your birthday. Go out there and have fun with friends.

I was at my dermatologist last week and I saw a guy who looked scary and repulsive because of some severe disfiguring skin condition. After seeing that, I was thanking god for being short, skinny, hairy and having minor acne breakouts. There are always people in much worse situations than we feel that we’re in. At least you are getting LHR so consider yourself lucky; many people out there who can’t afford it.

#3

“Happy Birthday”? More like “Crappy Birthday” am I right?

And regarding hair removal: I can’t really afford it anymore either. I got laid off and they are taking my house. YAY!

Sorry to rant you guys. I’m just so depressed and I can’t even think straight sometimes. I don’t even know why I posted that, I just had to do something or I never would have been able to tough out the evening. Thank you, anotherdude, for the kind words. That was nice of you.

#4

Geez, that’s horrible…

What’s your job?

#5

I was a statistical analyst. The company closed their western region and moved their corporate offices to their Florida center late last year.

#6

Happy birthday and I’m sorry to hear the news. Are you getting unemployment at least?

I have lots of contacts in the Silicon Valley and SF if you need any help. (I went to Cal). And for what it’s worth, I highly recommend www.Indeed.com for doing a job search. It’s basically the Kayak for job sites (i.e. aggregator search engine)

Do you have friends you can talk with about things that bother you? People you can confide in? I hope you can try to not be so hard on yourself.

One thing that works well for me is finding a hobby that you’re really passionate about. That makes you forget about a lot of other “issues”. Have you explored any options?

In the end, it’s really impossible for anyone to be perfect, no matter how close or far off one thinks they are. So I think the best way to deal with it is learning what makes you happy in life and try to focus your attention on doing those things. For me, it’s travel.

I know this may not make you feel better, but something to think about.

#7

I am sorry to hear this…

“Existing SUCKS when you’re ugly and old.”

That is truly a heartbreaking statement for me to read. Please think about this… Is existing only awesome for the pretty and young?

I do not mean to sound harsh or critical, but please reevaluate your life’s meaning and priorities. Everyone struggles with self-esteem issues. It doesn’t matter how pretty or young you are. You will be shocked to see that everyone is human at the end of the day.

Think about the world. You are lucky to be alive. You are lucky to have sight to even read this. There are blind people in this world. Do they not deserve to live because they’re not cool?

Please try to count your blessings and put your focus outwards. You are your harshest critic. Would you judge a stranger the way you judge yourself?

Would you judge a loved one the way you judge yourself?

Is the person you love the most pretty and young?

I hope you get to feeling better! I understand we all feel horrible sometimes and say ridiculous things. Best of luck!

P.S. I am not meaning to attack you in your state of depression. I sincerely hope these things make you think of something positive.

#8

happy bday magicalprincess kitty hope ur doing ok…

#9

Please, please, PLEASE try not to be that hard on yourself. Don’t go down that road. I’m really bad at giving out advice, but at least I can assure you nothing good will come out of it, because I’ve done it. I hated so many things about me and my body that no other guys seemed to/needed to care about, and it just made me miserable and I’m sick just of thinking about the time I wasted being miserable about it.

I hope you’re better now. I really do. Please, take it easy on yourself, kitty. And I hope you find a job soon.

p.s.: Freckles are really darn cute. Yes, even lots of them. And I’m pretty sure I’m not in the minority when I say so.

#10

Hey MagicalPrincessKitty,

Dont feel down. I am 21 and spend most of my time thinking the same as you, and I know I’m going to regret it when Im older!

Its a cliche but there are always people in a better situation than you, and always those that are worse off.

I always find birthdays stressful, because it forces you to put your life under a microscope, and you feel under pressure to say ‘yay!! my life is amazing! all my friends are amazing and i feel great!’ - so I try and let them go by with as little fuss as possible. Mayb wait until a few days after your birthday and then see if you feel the same.

I hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon. xxx

#11

I arrived late to wish you a happy birthday, Kitty. But I’m still in time to wish you much happiness the remaining days of the year.

I just read how you feel. You always encourage others, deserve a bit of help from us.
With regard to work, have you thought about dedicating temporarily to perform the electrolysis to others? I do not know if you need license in your state, but perhaps you can practice on your friends in exchange for some financial aid. I’m not encouraging to do something illegal. Only provided some idea.

As for your appearance, My Epil right.
My best friend is 87 years old (although she admits she has 80). :wink:
She is alone in the world, but many people want to be with her because she is so funny, you should see her dance to Waka Waka of Shakira, when Spain won the World Cup (sorry for the Netherlands, but the Spanish players deserved to win). :grin:

My friend joked with her wrinkles. She says her face looks like a pleated skirt (Scotch type). Most times I forget the limitations of her age because I do not see an old woman. I see an extraordinary person with a cheerful spirit and a desire to live for many years (despite her wrinkles and takes 16 pills daily). I wish she had your 25 years!!

The key is to live each moment as if every little thing that happens to you is a miracle. I think Einstein said that.

My daughter made a little cartoon to explain the asynchrony of hair system. It’s fun. Perhaps some of his cartoons make you smile: :slight_smile: