Another Newbie, Overwhelmed !

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Hi everybody. Just wanted to introduce myself. Found this site today, and I can tell it is going to be very helpful so I’m going to bookmark it. I’ve been dealing with facial hair since I hit puberty. But I think I made things worse with my own actions… let me explain.

Well I’m mixed, Latina and Black. When I was younger I remember I had a little mustache lol. It was irritating, but not so bad… but I distinctly remembered an incident that caused it to be worse. I remember visiting family and I was in the restroom with my slightly older female cousin who was also “hairy”. We started talking about the hair on our face and she told me what she did to solve the problem - SHAVE IT! So I did… and it grew.

At this point in time I regretted it because after I did this I found out from others that shaving it makes it worse and causes it to grow thicker. It grew again and I started having more facial hair, a little on my chin and long sideburns. Of course, in Jr High school, I was devastated. I remember going to the store w/my mother to get hair removal creams that smelled terrible and irritated my skin, and ultimately ended up bleaching the hair. This worked well for a while, until I started to look like I had blonde facial hair (I am tanned). Was made fun of by obnoxious younger male cousin of course.

So I did the cheapest thing, shave. It worked. Eventually after high school I went to get laser treatments. It was at a respectable cosmetic/plastic surgery office but what I didn’t realize until later was that the woman who did the treatments was a former nurse. When I went to her, I just wanted my chin and mustache done. She offered to do my whole face for just a tiny amount of more money. Since I had a barely there light fuzz on the outline of my face (jawline, etc) I thought why not? Went to her about 5 times.

Was completely humiliated by the way. I remember walking out and you could see where she treated me, those areas were so red. I also remember hearing someone walk into the treatment room while I was getting treated. Like they were curious and just wanted to watch. Anyway. I stopped going (didn’t have much money left) and the good news is that the mustache and sideburns are gone… my chin hair has gotten worse and also the hair around my jawline grows much thicker now (it was only a light fuzz before). So since I’ve been tight with money… I’m back to shaving again every morning. My chin and my jawline area. It was fine for a while, but it really is a pain and now my skin is getting irritated from shaving it, I get bumps, and now for the first time ever I am getting ingrown hair!

Nobody knows because I shave every morning. It’s become a routine. If I don’t shave in the morning you can tell later as I get stubble in the chin and jawline area. I have been with my (now fiance) for years and he has no idea. I make sure to wake up before him to shave, and I always carry a razor with me in case heaven forbid some stubble decides to pop up later in the day.

It’s frustrating. And just today I decided to look into what I should do and I found this great site. I haven’t looked through everything just yet there’s so much information. But I plan on doing my research and I don’t know. Just make a decision. Because I can’t keep doing this. It’s making my skin look terrible. I’m afraid I am starting to look like someone who shaves. And sometimes the stubble is hard to get and I’m afraid people will see the really short stubble.

And that’s my story. Hopefully it will turn into a success story sometime in the near future. Thanks for reading.

#2

Electrolysis will help you greatly, so don’t lose heart.

I want to clarify that it’s an old wive’s tale that shaving makes hair worse. Shaving is just cutting the hair, and cutting dead hair does nothing to the root. There are two reasons people mistakenly assume that shaving makes hair worse:

  1. Shaving cuts the hair in a blunt tip instead of a tapered tip (the way it grow naturally), so it looks “stubbly” when it grows back and feels stiffer or thicker. An optical illusion of sorts.

  2. Most people start shaving around puberty. Their adolescent hormones between the ages of 11 and 25 make hair darker and thicker. They wrongly assume that the shaving caused it, but in reality it was gonna get worse anyway. This is a well known false-attribution error.

The reason I bring it up is because you should know it’s NOT your fault and you did not make it worse; Shaving is scientifically the BEST way to temporarily remove unwanted hair (waxing or plucking is a huge no-no and can make hair in some areas worse). So don’t blame shaving, blame puberty and genetics. :stuck_out_tongue:

Keep shaving or trimming for now, and look into electrolysis when you can afford permanent removal (women’s faces are not usually good laser candidates but electrolysis will give you permanent results with about a year).

#3

Hi MagicalPrincessKitty :slight_smile: Thank you for the information! Now I don’t feel so bad, I really thought I caused all of this and that I was getting punished for it! Lols

I’m really glad you told me though, because I was literally going to buy a waxing kit at the store yesterday but I decided to put it off and do a little research online to find out which wax kit is best for the face (and that’s how I came across this site). So I shouldn’t wax it then? It’ll make it worse? I have to look into electrolysis for sure though :smiley:

Thanks again!

#4

I hope you will try electrolysis. I think it will work great for you. But, it will take time and money. It is a big commitment, and if you don’t go regularly, you won’t get results. I read somewhere that the same woman was coming to a certain electrologist every year around spring time. She would come for a few treatments then not come again for another year. That didn’t get rid of the hair. I started 3 weeks ago and go every week. 2 appointments were 30 minutes and one was 15 minutes. Eventually I will be able to go every other week, and then once a month, but I expect to be going weekly for at least the first 4-6 months. And I think you should tell your fiance. He will love you either way. My husband is not at all turned off by my facial hair. I, however, am!!! So hang in there and keep us posted!!

#5

Kitty is correct. You didn’t cause anything by shaving. Your hormones did it!

Also, laser is only good for coarse dense hair (like underarms or bikini hair). It can stimulate more growth on finer hair and areas with little hair. Only electrolysis is good for finer hair.

If you have hair that’s good for laser, you can only use a Yag laser given your skin type and ethnicity.

I advise you to keep shaving for now and to save up for professional laser or electrolysis treatments. You can use the electrolysis and laser portions of this forum to learn everything you need about each method and find a good clinic.

Also, if you suspect you may have a hormonal condition causing the growth, find a good endocrinologist to run some tests.

#6

Hola Maliyah! Bienvenida.

Le escribo en español con la esperanza de que pueda entenderme.
Desgraciadamente su caso suena tan familiar. Millones de mujeres comparten su problema de exceso de pelo en el rostro. En la mayoría de los casos, este sufrimiento se padece en silencio. Ocultando al mundo la frustración y la impotencia que siente quien padece esta aparente “anormalidad”.
Yo podría contarle cientos de casos en los que he sido testigo del derrumbamiento psíquico y emocional de estas mujeres cuando por fín se atreven a enfrentarse con una solución. Sin embargo le contaré el más reciente en mi memoria.
Hace unos 4 meses, una joven universitaria de 24 años acudió a mí para someterse a un tratamiento de Electrolysis en su cara. A pesar de su extremada juventud, esta joven, es increíblemente madura. A la edad de 18 años, sus padres hicieron el esfuerzo de costearle un tratamiento de Fotodepilación en una de las clínicas más punteras del panorama español. Aquel tratamiento era inadecuado para el pelo fino que comenzaba a “despertar”. La bioestimulación producida por el calor de la energía lumínica acceleró el proceso y tras agotar el paquete de sesiones previamente contratado, su problema se acrecentó.
Puede usted imaginar la frustración que sintió esta mujer. El gasto inútil y lo que es peor, perder la esperanza por lo que ella pensaba, era la única posibilidad de tener éxito en la resolución de su problema.
Alguien le habló de la Electrolysis y en este momento su estado de ánimo es muy diferente.
Durante el curso de su tratamiento en otras zonas corporales, tenemos largas charlas en las que me cuenta cómo se ha sentido y se cómo se siente en la actualidad. Aún se derrumba y llora como la niña que es en realidad. Ha ocultado esas lágrimas durante tanto tiempo para no hacer sufrir a sus seres queridos. Ojalá ella misma pudiera contarle la felicidad que sintió hace pocos días cuando su padre le dió un beso y le dijo: “Uy! qué suave está esa carita.” Su padre jamás se hubiera atrevido a manifestar esta sensación en el pasado.
Maliyah, su problema tiene solución. No se resigne a padecerlo sin luchar. La Electolysis es infalible, independientemente del color de la piel y el grosor del pelo. Infórmese bien antes de elegir las manos que van a trabajar en su piel. Si aún tiene usted dudas sobre la efectividad de esta técnica, eliga cualquier zona corporal y yo le demuestro gustosa que nunca falla. Pero eso sí, asegúrese de que sea un profesional adecuado.

Le deseo toda la suerte del mundo y un gran triunfo en sus proyectos futuros.

Un saludo cordial,

Josefa

#7

Thank you guys so much… I wish I would have known about this site years ago…

impatient440, thank you and I’m scared to tell my fiance! I tried to before… I just told him that I was nervous to tell him something and he asked what (he loves me to death, but of course my insecurities get the best of me). So I asked if he noticed anything about my face, he said no. I told him I have facial hair, and joked that I’m hairy… and he just shook his head and said I’m fine. He asked “Where? Your eyebrows?” Since I just pluck those daily. And I said No… and I wanted to tell him specifically the problem… but just couldn’t. So that’s where me and him are when it comes to that! lol. I kind of want to get rid of the problem and pretend it was never a problem to be honest with you… LOL. But he knows something is up.

LAgirl, thank you for the info as well! I really wish I would have known that when I first got the laser done on my face. The sideburns are gone, but now the rest, which wasn’t a problem before, is a problem now since she did the laser on my whole face practically. The woman who worked on me clearly was not trained well or just did not care…

Gracias Josefa! It’s true that a lot of people are going through this but I am glad I found this site and you all to help me out. I did think I was alone since everyone else seems hairless to me lol. I was overwhelmed when I found this site too, there are way more treatments out there than I thought there were.

So I thought great, I have to look through ALL of them and figure it out. But I am thankful to you guys for pointing me in the right direction. I am going to start saving up for electrolysis and read more about it as well! I’m kind of excited now! haha.

Thanks again guys :slight_smile: