All advice welcome!

Hey Guys,

I’m new here, so “hi!” :grin: I don’t really have a question as such, just want some advice.
I’m 18 years old and for the past 3 or 4 years have had very dark hair on my back, arms, stomach, chest, upper lip…everywhere really!! :angry: I bleach the hair on my upper lip, however, it is still very noticable and I am so self-conscious of it that I can’t look in a mirror or talk to people closely, I always have to put my hand over my mouth. I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’m so ashamed, it’s ruining my life!!

I went to my GP, last August, I was so embaressed, I told her about the hair on my stomach and back, she looked at it and said “It’s not too bad”, “just bleach it” I couldn’t believe it! I thought she would’ve at least offered to do blood tests. I go through a box of bleaching stuff every month!!
My mum and I don’t discuss this but I am sure she knows about it coz it’s very noticable although I keep all other parts of my hairy body covered. I want to tell her how much it upsets me and I want her to accompany me to the GP to ask for blood tests and I want to get laser or electrolysis but I want my mum to be with me. How do I tell her? I was just gonna write her a letter but that’s just stupid, right? I dunno what to do anymore! Please help if you can! Thanx

Writing your mother a letter is a good idea if you don’t think you can sit down with her and talk it out without having the letter come first. You will probably find that she is not talking to you about it, because she doesn’t know how to bring it up to you without possibly hurting your fellings.

When it comes to dealing with doctors, you should understand that YOU are the person who really has to take responsibility for your health. They are only seeing you for 5 minutes and have 30 people in the waiting room after you.

If you and your Mom make it a point to push for you to get the proper testing to determine what the cause of your hair growth is, you will have that peace of mind, and be better able to devise a proper treatment plan.

In the worst case, you have a disorder that needs medical attention to arrest the development of new hairs, in addition to electrolysis to clear out the hairs that you already have. At best, you need nothing more than electrolysis alone, or some combination of electrolysis coupled with stress and/or weight management.

You would be surprised at how many women have hair problems because they are stressed out, anorexic, or obese. The good news is that if these things are the reason for the hair growth, the problem may be eliminated without much help from doctors and prescription medication. All you would need in that case would be a good electrologist, and a yoga class :grin:

Keep us informed as to how things go with you.

A lot of physicians are unaware of the social stigma some people feel about unwanted hair. Others may not think it’s as bad as you, but that’s not really the issue.

It’s possible your mom deals with unwanted hair, since it tends to be hereditary. Even if she doesn’t, I think talking about it with her will be really helpful. Make it clear how it makes you feel, and it’s very likely she will be willing to help you find a good solution.

Let us know!

I think you need to stop using the word ashamed… to me, that means like you regret something you have done deliberately… and you have not done this hairiness to yourself… I feel for you, esp. when there are so many images showing how young girls ‘should’ look… impossible for anyone really…

Like it has been suggested, get your mum talking about it to you… if you have her to talk to, it will be so much easier to go through the next steps.

Next you need to see your doctor and ask that they look into tests to rule out hormonal issues. If your doctor won’t, then find another doctor…

Once you know if there is or is not an underlying cause, you can plan your treatment program… to get rid of the existing hair. If money is an issue, then you should be looking at electrolysis on the face straight-up, and perhaps waxing the other parts until you are able to afford a permanent solution…

Ask away, this is the place for the right answers…

Good luck with it - you’re amongst friends who DO understand when you come here.


[ January 31, 2003, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: IHH ]

Hey David, Andrea & James! Thanks for your replies to my post!! Really appreciate it!

James: I think you’re right about my mum not saying anything for fear of hurting my feelings. I know it’s awful to say it but I really was hoping that I would have a medical condition that is causing the excess hair, that way I wouldn’t feel like such a freak. It is possible that it is caused by stress coz I was diagnosed with a rare chronic pain disease 5 years ago…spent 18 months in hospital,etc. so that was quite stressful and around about the time this “hairiness” started! Thanx for your advice!

Andrea: Hi, how are you? I know Doctors don’t seem to realised how mush it affects someone, especially a young teenager who is already finding things difficult enough!! I know for a fact that my mum doesn’t have a problem with unwanted hair so I doubt that it’s hereditary. Me and my mum are very very close but I still haven’t been able to open up to her about this, don’t ask me why! However, I’m gonna have to if I want to get this dealt with! Thanx for all your help!

David: I’ll try to stop using the word ashamed!! All I can say is thanx!!


I’m sure you’ll hear from me again as the “saga” unfolds!!

Sonia xxxx