Ahhhh. Help? Please?

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

Hey, hi, hello.

I’m not exactly sure where to start. I’ve never talked to anyone about this before. I never thought I would, to be honest.

I’m so relieved to have found this site. I’m still hesistant about sharing… but I need to do something. I’m hairy. Much hairier than any female should be. Though my face doesn’t give it away.
It’s other places. The rest of my body.
And I have no idea what to do.

You see, I thought I could deal with it.
Shave my legs, arms, and Nair everything else if a doctor’s appointment was necessary. I feel much cleaner if I have my arms and legs shaved. I don’t feel so replulsive.
I figured I’d stick with that, you know, and accept
the fact that I’d just have to spend my life alone. And I was okay with it.

But now there’s a boy. Well, he’s been around for awhile, actually. Two years. This sounds so silly to you all, I’m sure. But we met online. We’ve been extremely good friends. We’ve always had feelings for eachother, but it was never the right time. Now seems to be. We decided to try the whole long-distance thing. He lives in Australia, and I’m going to see him for my 18th. I can’t wait, honestly. I’m so happy things are looking this well for us.
But my hair. My stupid fucking hair is holding me back. )=
I care about him so much, and he returns those feelings. And I’m so, so lucky to have him in my life. But right now I feel like a terrible person. I feel like I’mm deceiving him-- he doesn’t know ‘hairy’ me. You know? I feel like he deserves so much better than that. I’m a freak.
And I can’t even tell him. I’ll never tell anyone.
It’s too humiliating. No one knows,
and I don’t want them to. )=

I don’t know what to do.

I hate being so disgusting.
I hate not being able to wear tank tops -whenever- I want.
I hate not being able to go into the same dressing room
with my mom or my friends because I know what’s underneath my clothes. I hate not being able to wear a swimsuit.

I feel like this has pushed me away from everyone and everything,
and all I have is my thoughts. And my thoughts get so weird,
so awkward, so… dlkfjldkjflskjf. I just want to feel, -be-, somewhat normal.

When I’m talking to him, he makes things alright, he makes things great. He makes me feel good, normal. He drives my heart crazy, but still manages to keep me sane, and I just don’t want to have to let that go. Life is so dull without him around. With him it’s a song… a song that you can’t help but smile and sing along with, no matter how many times you’ve heard it before. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want to give that up.
But if I don’t get rid of this problem, I think I’m going to have to. )=

I don’t understand why God did this to me.
I mean, jeeze. I already have absolutely no boobs,
and a not-so-hot body, and a blah face.

It could be worse, I know.
But this really bites.

=(

Fudge.

#2

Eh… btw, sorry for the foul language.
I hope that didn’t offend anyone?
I was quite upset, is all.

And I hope I posted this in the correct forum?
I was/am asking for help and advice,
but the majority of this post was emotional,
so I figured this would be where it belonged.
I dunno, thoughh. Could be wrong.
Have been before. =p

Uhmm. Yeah.
And no one’s replied yet.
Is that normal?
Or does it mean my case is hopeless already
and I’ve scared everyone away? Lol.

Ohh, sniggity.
I hope not.

#3

First,
-ARe ur parents aware of this problem and do they know how u feel? U should talk about it with them first. LHR is expensive so if u dont have regular income u might need someone to suport u.
-U should talk to ur doctor as well. U might have to run some tests to check whether u have polycystic ouveris sindrom. DO u have regular period?

What skin type are u? What color is the hair u want to remove? How coarse and how dense is it on each place?
-Please read FAQ

EH… as u have probably already figured out… there are so many people feeling just like u…
The good thing is that nowdays, with this technology,this problem can be solved…

#4

Thank you for taking time to reply,
I really appreciate it.

No, they’re not aware of it.
This is the first time I’ve ever mentioned anything about this to -anyone-. I don’t know if I’d be able to talk to them, honestly. =(
I mean, what could I say…?

I don’t keep track of my periods the way I should.
But they definitely aren’t normal.
They pop up at random times.

It’s all dark,
and relatively coarse in some places.
It isn’t extremely dense,
but it’s definitely noticeable.

I’ll read FAQ now,
thanks again.

#5

Sounds similar situation to me, excpet im male. And ‘my girl’ doesn’t know the true me.
Its catch 22, you dont want to lie or never get close to them, because that defies the point of knwoing them. Yet you dont want them to know the ‘truth’ because you think it will make them stop liking you… Well thats how it seems for me.

Basically Goodmorning, you need to decide what area bothers you most and work on that. Post some pics on here maybe, and let the regulars advise you.

It well either be a case of laser for underarm etc, or electrolysis for you face or fine areas…

good luck

#6

Ah, yeah. Basically.
He knows I’m uncomfortable with my body…
he just doesn’t know -why-.
Grragah.

I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be
posting pictures on the internet. =p
But I am going to research what my options are,
and hopefully work something out.

I don’t have a job right now,
because my dad wants me to focus on school.
But I think I may look into finding one,
so I can rid myself of this awful problem.

shrugs

Thanks, Morissey.
Goodluck to you, as well.

#7

yeah thats sounds familier. they know you/we are uncomfortable for some reason but not exactly why…
It seems like the ‘H’ word is dirty or something…

What a pain this is.

Remmeber if you post pics of the problem areas we wont see you face (unless it is your face of course) so it is basically anonymous.
It might help you get the best advice.

either way its your call. just make sure you dont use a laser on fine hair, as its common knowledge it can make it worse.

all the best.

#8

Oh, yeah. It’s portrayed as unacceptable.
I have a few friends who’ll talk about girls
at our school who’re a little hairy, and laugh at them.
And I’m just like… wow. That joke isn’t funny anymore.
I don’t say it (because I amm an absolute coward),
but I sure do think it. )= I feel for those girls, I do.

He always insists nothing could ever change the way he thinks of me…
but I can’t help thinking that this would.
He’s an amazing guy, would never do anything to hurt anyone.
But it feels like this would scare just about -anyone- away.
I couldn’t really blame him if he reacted badly.
Who could/want to be with a hairy girl?
It makes me feel so dirty, so unloveable. )=

Yeah… but no one’s ever seen before.
And just the thought of someone knowing…
It’s a hard concept to grasp. You know?
I’ll think on it, though.

Thanks so much. <3

#9

Yes i know what your saying… i really do.

hope he understands, and it works out.

#10

-as far as telling ur parents… ur mum might have same hair problme as well… she will understand u… U dont need a bigg announcement…u could just mention to her that u are tired of shaving, ask her what method she uses…ect…
It would be really helpfull if u could share that with her… or someone close to u. U might be surprised with her reaction.
-is sounds like u need an appointment with ur gynecologist. That shouldnt be too hard. If u are having iregular periods ur doctor needs to know about this. DOnt ignore that. It is ur health.MIght be connected with the fact u have too much hair and it can be treated.

Coarse black hair and pale skin is ideal conbination.
What is ur skin type??
U could post a pic of ur legs and arms…just a patch maybe…so the people on this forum can advise u how to remove them.

#11

She doesn’t have the same problem.
She’s as hairless as my gramp’s bald head. =p
Reallyy. We’re pretty close,
and she has no problems changing in front of me. Lol

I keep getting these random spurts of courage,
where I tell myself it isn’t that big of a deal,
that I can talk to her about it.
But then she gets around,
and I back out. I mean, I know, it’s my momm,
she isn’t going to laugh at me.
It’s just difficult to really admit to someone
that I’ve this problem. Saying it aloud
would make it even more of a reality than it already is,
and I’m a little scared of accepting that.

I’mm pretty pale,
nearly impossible for me to tan.
I always burn. Lol.

I’ll attempt to post a picture
within the next couple of dayss.

#12

I stopped trying to help women become comfortable with their bodies the day I listened to Tyra Banks talk about how “bottom heavy” she is, and how it effects her self esteem.

If a woman paid for her looks still is obsessing over how she looks (to the point that she thinks maybe she doesn’t look all that great) I give up!

Of course, with that being her “kryptonite” I know how bad she must have felt when the Sports Illustrated cover came out and they had digitally edited out about 3 sizes from her hips and thighs.

Ok, so maybe it is not all women spending too much time contemplating their navels. The external sometimes pushes in the same bad direction.

#13

  • once you start reading more of this forum, you will find that there are millions of women in the same position as you. that means that there are millions of people having relationships where their significant others knows something that others around them may not. don’t feel like you are alone. and if someone really likes you, some hair is not going to stop them. you can read many reports on this forum of women who finally decided to share their “secret” with their significant other, and were surprised at how supportive they were. it’s not as big of a deal to someone who loves you as people in school may seem to portray trying to be cool. high school can be rough.

  • now for the important part. considering what you mentioned (irregular periods, small breasts, excessive hair, etc), you should talk to your mom since you are close because you should see an endocrinologist doctor. the excessive hair may be caused by a hornomal imbalance and can be helped sometimes with just specific birth control pills like Yasmine. if you’re not going to talk to her about the hair, definitely talk to her about he irregular periods. And once you are at the doctor’s office, you can discuss the situation with the doctor in private if you want. however, i urge you to mention both problems to your mom. i am sure she loves you no matter what and will help you resolve this situation and move on.

  • you sound like a good candidate for permanent hair removal methods. but as mentioned, they are not cheap. so talking to your parents is important, so they can support you. in addition, you need to get your hormones checked and balanced first, before you start permanent hair removal. because your body needs to stop producing excessive hair. otherwise, it may seem as if hair removal is not working, or not as fast, as you’ll be producing new hairs at the same time. you’re at an age (assuming 17) where your hormones are changing.

  • light skin and dark coarse hair are easiest treated with laser. finer hair is best treated by electrolysis. most woman shave their legs, so there is nothing weird about that. most women also wax or shave their underarms and bikini lines. what other hair do you have? for a long time, before I was able to afford permanent removal, I found that waxing was best for my bikini and underarms since the hair was gone for 2-3 weeks (you may want to consider this for your trip to visit this boy), and bleached my abdomen. If you have light skin, bleach is a good temporary solution that lasts about 1-3 weeks.

But once again, you have some signs of a potential hormonal imbalance problem or PCOS, so you should really get it checked out with a good endocrinologist first.

Good luck.

#14

That sure is relieving.
Before I found this forum, I was so sure I was
just about the only one going through this. -.-

Endocrinologist? Is it stupid of me to ask
what they actually do…? =p
This week I have finals at school, so I’m not sure
I’ll want to stress myself with talking to her right away,
but I’ll try bringing it up during the weekend. =s

Yeah… 17. Yay.
Funky hormones. Heh.

Ahhh. It’s pretty much everywhere. =(
I’m embarassed to admit some places…
so I’ll just say everywhere. Everywhere.
Back, shoulders, stomach… etc.

I know this is going to be extremely hard for me,
telling people, face-to-face, about the hair.
I think I’ll try to avoid it.
But I really don’t want to… I want to just get it over with.
Start making some progress. You know?

Ohhh, mann.
Some relaxing Yoga
would do me some good right about now. =p

Is there anything I could do
to possibly make telling my mom
and the doctors any easier…?
Or is it best to just suck it up,
and let it out real quick,
like ripping a band-aid off? =p

#15

If you’ve never been examined by a gynecologist, this is the time to do it. Irregular periods should be addressed. As embarrassing as it seems, you MUST let the doctor see the hair. They tend to not take hair problems serious unless they actually see what you mean when you say you have excess hair.

After your initial ob/gyn visit, you may need to ask for a referral to an endocrinologist, someone who specializes in the glands and hormones.

I’m not trying to alarm you, just want to make you aware. Detecting something like PCOS at an early age rather than when you are in your 30’s and can’t understand why you can’t get pregnant would make a huge difference in your future.

Talk to mom. She really is your best ally.

#16

GoodMorning, I know exactly how you feel. I’m 19 and it seems like I’ve been dealing with excess hair forever (well, i have) but it seems/feels like it has gotten worse this last year. I too don’t have the money because my parents want me to focus on school. I know exactly how you feel, I don’t know how to tell my mom either. I think if I told my mom she’d tell me i pay too much attention to my body and not notice it.