Absolutely miserable.

Start here! Share your feelings
#1

I’m a seventeen-year-old girl who’s been struggling with hair issues for years. When I was in my pre-teens, thick hair started to grow on my bikini area. I thought that was awful enough, but then a couple years later I found hair growing on my stomach, back, breasts, chest, and now face.

I have gone to my family’s doctor about the issue, but he didn’t seem to take me very seriously. We tried some kind of hormone test, but I seemed fine. I don’t find my parents very supportive, and when I mention the subject to them they often get angry with me. I haven’t even told my friends because I’m so afraid of what they’ll think of me.

I find hair unattractive. I hate myself and how I look, and often think about suicide. I don’t think I’ll even find a boyfriend, let alone a husband. Even if I did marry, I’d never want to have kids because they might end up hairy as well.

I am posting my story here in order to find help. I’m desperate!

Note: I have pale, sensitive skin and very dark hair.
My dad is also very hairy, so it might be genetics.

Leg Hair
My leg hair isn’t so bad, I usually shave it or use Nair. However, I tend to get ingrown hairs, especially on my thighs. The hair on my legs also grows back very fast, I usually have to do maintenance the next day or so. It’s a bit of a pain, but the least of my problems.

Bikini Area
I’ve only ever shaved or used Nair on my bikini area. And let me tell you… Sooooo many ingrown hair! This hair is thick, long, and just a pain in general. I hate it!

Stomach
I haven’t done anything to the hair on my stomach. Most of it is fine, but dark. There is a dark, thick line of hair below my bellybutton. I hope to wax this area sometime soon, but I’m afraid to go to a professional since I’m very self-conscious.

Breasts
Fine, dark hair for the most part. Thick, longer ones around the nipple. I usually pluck these. Again, I’m too scared to go to a professional about this.

Chest
Fine, tiny dark hair prettymuch everywhere here… But there’s a line of thicker hairs a bit lower down. I once tried using Nair here and it really hurt and cause ingrowns. I can’t wear even slightly low-neck shirts because of this.

Back/Lower Back
As far as I know, most of my back has just the thin, dark hairs I’ve been talking about.
My lower back, however has these terrible, long hairs that are arranged really oddly… I have to wear very long shirts because of this! I can’t even have my butt crack showing by accident! It’s like I’m always monitoring myself.

Face/Neck
One of my biggest problems at the moment. I have hair on my upper lip, for one. I have done a few laser treatments here in the past, but it keep growing back now. Since my mom can’t afford to put me through laser again, I shave here. ):
I also have hair on my lower cheeks and down my neck. I have bleached this before, but the hair was still too noticeable for my liking. Two days ago, I used Nair face removal cream. It left my hair red and irritated and I have hair growing back already!! Did I mention that I have scabs all over my face?
Lastly, I have these weird, short, dark hairs on both sides of my nose.

I’m feeling hopeless. Someone help me, please! I’m sick of self-loathing and pity! I just want to feel beautiful for once.

#2

Sorry, I don’t have the time to really go through all you wrote and give you a point, by point reply. There are lots of things to address in your post, and I hope some of the nice folks here will help out and by the end of the weekend, all your issues will have been addressed.

In short, you can get the most problematic things taken care of, if you can arrange to have decent treatment on a good treatment schedule. Your problem could be hereditary, hormonal, or a reaction to environmental, dietary/nutritional, or even stress factors.

Please stop plucking the breast hairs, you will only make them thicker, darker, more distorted, and more difficult to treat later.

Why don’t you tell us where you are located so someone may be able to help you find a practitioner or school in your area.

#3

I guess this is a case of “If it’s going to be, its up to me.”

First of all, you should borrow, or buy a copy of Julia Ross’ “The Diet Cure.” Although the title has the word Diet in it, this is not a book about getting skinny, it is about many things, and I wish it had been titled “The Nutritional Cure”, but if I got my way in this world, people might still be calling me Mr. Paula Abdul :wink: Anyway, it has lots of good information including a section all about the artificial sweetener connection to, hormonal imbalance, PCOS, and therefore unwanted hair increase.

If I were you, I would look to get the breasts done in blend, the face done in MicroFlash thermolysis, or better yet, PicoFlash thermolysis, and then, work out a plan for the rest of the body.

Bleaching and chemical concoctions like Nair are not a good way to go. clipping and shaving are the best alternatives, in that they don’t cause a situation where one would have more difficulty with growth later. I know it is not popular, but it is the best solution as long as you don’t have big thick black hairs on bright/translucent skin. Plucking, can lead to hairs getting thicker and darker, so please avoid it. Bleaching can also lead to thickening of the hairs, so I don’t like that either, for that reason.

#4

I know how you feel, I had my laser done and life is so much better. Maybe you can get a part time job to pay for the laser and buy a package with a time guarantee. Start out by doing the area that bothers you the most and then work your way to the areas that are less bothersome. I was a hairy teenager before lasers came to use. But don’t think of suicide because when you get older things will get better if you get a job and save your money to make this a priority and you will feel so much better. I was called an ape in school and now after laser I don’t even think about it. So hang in there until you can aford it. Maybe you could even apply for a job on the weekends in a laser center as an office person. Just don’t give up-it does get better. Or you can get a career in this field.

#5

Dear Phages,

I totally and completely understand everything you feel. I am a 28 year old female who is in between jobs. The facial hair problem has taken over my life. It has caused me deep depression and now everytime I try n look for a job I worry so much about my facial hair. I made the stupid mistake of shaving, and i swear- if time machines were available- I would go back to the day before I ever shaved.
I also worry about finding a husband, having trouble maintaining a boyfriend because I am afraid to get too close, or if they would ever find out. I only shaved 2 years ago but now the worry of what horror I might feel in time, as the hair thickens more than it already has.
I just wanted you to know that I often mention suicide as a joke to my mom, even though I wouldnt do it, It crosses my mind. I think to myself- all my problems would be over. whats gonna happen when im 32? 40? Im gonna be this hairy lady? Omg I can’t even imagine. Sometimes you really pay for your mistakes. I’m very sorry you go through these things as well but it is nice to know someone else has these fears and that I am not alone.
I know this seemed like a bitch fest- But I need to vent about it too, this is not something you can openly discuss.
I am currently using vaniqa- I applied it today for the first time. I cannot afford laser, or electrolysis at the moment so this is my attempt to improve my quality of life.

#6

I have also considered what puppy has said about pursuing a career in laser. You get to use the machines sometimes. But I have done laser before- I did 3 treatments because someone I knew was doing the treatments.
I was lucky to know this person(my cousins friend) She hooked me up with whole face treatment for 500. She stopped working there after 3 months, and they started monitoring the pulses. She informed me that if I went it I wouldnt be so lucky and that They would only do my chin. But when I consider even thinking of applying and dealing with the embarrassment of my potiental co workers knowing about the hair, it stops me.
It has truly ruined my life. As you’ve said hair in other places are tolerable- but your face is not. I hate facing my cousin and her friend because they ACTUALLY know.

#7

How does bleaching thicken the hairs? I bleached my face for years and now I’m bleaching my arms. I would have thought that bleach only affects the hair above the skin?

#8

I think this is out of perspective. I am very hairy too, but I’ve never gotten so down over it. Other things, yes, but here are some things to think about:

–Everyone has something about their appearance that they hate. Take a look around in public and see how many people have flaws. A lot of people hate themselves because of their weight, their acne, their height, their skin color, their facial features, etc. They think no one will find them attractive. Life isn’t fair and we all have to work with the cards we’ve been dealt in life.

–At least excess hair is something that you can improve. Put your mind to solving this problem and you’ll feel much better. Put your energy to finding ways to make money and get laser or electrolysis on the areas that bother you the most. In the meantime, do the temporary removal methods so that you don’t have to look at the hair. But remember that pulling the hair out by the root makes the hair coarser and can make it more difficult to remove by electrolysis later on.

–When there’s something about your appearance that you don’t like and can’t change, all you can do is to focus on all the aspects of your appearance that you CAN change. While you’re working on getting the money for permanent hair removal, focus on diet, exercise, nails, makeup, etc. so you always look your best. And also focus on improving the other areas of your life so you feel good about who you are and where you’re going.

–Read these forums and you’ll see that many people get hair removed in the areas you’re scared about. It’s not a big deal but you’ll never get the problem taken care of unless you bring yourself to ask a professional to work there.

Good luck!

#9

So much to say:

Puppy, laser is one modality that can certainly help some? many?, but it cannot come close to removing all bothersome hair in many situations. The ideal suggestion I would give is to think of combining BOTH modalities (laser and electrolysis) if one is thinking about hair reduction/removal for most body areas. I am not crazy about women lasing their faces and necks. I see too many that DID NOT receive the results they paid for and they ended up coming to someone like me (an electrologist) to give that final punch to the hairs that laser could never affect. Anyone thinking of laser for facial areas especially, really should find a skilled electrologist to bring this hair removal journey to a good end.

Concerning the use of bleach: It is believed that anything that irritates the skin and stimulates blood flow to an area has the potential to strengthen a hair structure because hair functions to protect skin. Additionally, the action of the bleach causes a “plumping” effect on the hairs it reacts with, thus making those hairs swell up. You have fatter blonde hairs, in place of thinner dark hairs.

Vaniqa is expensive, oily, and needs to be applied twice a day. It is meant only for female facial hair. Once you stop using it, the hair grows as it was before you started.

The best value for facial hair removal is electrolysis as long as you find someone who uses the faster forms of thermolysis that are descibed as MicroFlash, PicoFlash. Synchro thermolysis is very good as well for those electrologists that have invested in the Apilus Platinum or had it added to the Apilus Pure. Women with facial hair don’t understand well enough that good electrolysis care as performed by a skilled electrologist is their ONLY ticket to freedom and happiness. Vaniqa won’t bring them home. Laser won’t bring them home. Nothing brings them home like good electrolysis care simply because ELECTROLYSIS works on ALL HAIR STRUCTURES, ON ALL HAIR COLORS, ON EVERY COLOR OF SKIN.

Shaving never causes a hair problem - hormones and one’s vulnerability to those circulating hormones do. Blood supply to a follicle is the other factor that induces hair to grow.

Nothing lifts depression caused by facial hair better than having a plan and saving money to implement that plan. Venting is always good, but at some point one needs to roll up their sleeves and move forward in a purposeful manner to change their situation, after they have studied all options.

#10

I have and have all these same issues. I myself have had dates and put a razor in my purse so I could shave after dinner or before a movie or before a snuggle session :wink:

There really is hope!!! I am well into my electro treatment and as the days go by my spirits lift. I think the most helpful part of electolysis has been how open I have become with my problem. I no longer hide, i just am like whatever, Im hairy and am having it dealt with and if it bugs you OH WELL! Not one person in my life has said ewww or your gross or anything, DUH, ppl love me, they listen to me and even help “take care” of me after a long treatment. Come make the kids dinner so I can just kick it on the couch! I even have a gf who drops off flowers sometimes after a treatment!

It is far from over with me, I have hair thick and course all over, like male growth, my stomach my chest my bikini line is crazy, but it was my face that showed to the world and my first obstacle.

I look at it this way with the other parts of my body, if there is enough love and respect to take my clothes off and allow you to touch me, then whats the problem, you must accept me for who I am!

My hair growth also began when i was still a teen, nothing like it is now, but it was starting, and I THANK GOD with every treatment that i never tweezed or waxed!!! The hairs between my breast I did however and the treatment I had on this area was no fun due to the waxing I believe!

I think that finding things to be thankful for and realizing your not alone helps! God bless the person who invented the razor and foundation! EYE make UP!!! Put it on make those eyes pop out so they are the first thing that ppl look at. I do wild things with my hair, right now I am sporting some pink streaks, and yes I do have a good job in the welfare system. I do other things that make me feel good and that draws attention away from my neck and chin!

I never wear earrings and or necklaces but lots of bracelets and rings! Everyone has a flaw they do not like but we all have much more beauty within and without then our flaws!

There is hope and you will find relief but one must accept their problem before the real healing can begin. I had to talk to many professionals and find out what my bottom line was and then take action! You are young, take care of yourself and in time you will accpet who you are. If I had started electro at 17 i would have spent probably over ten years dealing with the hairs in a more expensive way then my razor. I do not think my hair stopped producing new hairs until about 5 years ago, its just stayed the same sense then.

Be patient surround yourself with caring ppl and be open and realistic! A bf will love you for you, and everyone will respect you more when you live with confidence!

=)

#11

Hair is DEAD. That is why there is no pain when you cut it and no bleeding. No matter what you do to the hair it has no effect on its growth unless you treat or disable the live part (the follicle).

#12

I hope you are seeing a gynecologist because there is medical treatment for you. Your doc should have done 2 blood tests to locate the source of the problem. He knows it is always caused by too much male hormone from someplace. The tests are to let him know where so that you can be treated.Once you are being treated you can get the insurance company to pay for electrology. When a diagnosis is made they are paying the doc for repeat visits and prescriptions, therefore, they can not deny treating additional symptoms. I have been paid many times. When one company pays they ALL HAVE TO PAY.
LAWYERS love to take these cases. If your doc does not want to treat you he is supposed to refer you to someone who is a specialist in this subject like an endocrinologist or reproductive endocrinologist. If you have more questions you can reach me at <lefty.gg@verizon.net>.

#13

Just some other thoughts:

There are many, many, many women who have hair they want removed. They go to a professional electrologist, have it taken care of over a period of somewhere between 9-18 months and live happily ever after. If 9 out of 10 women with hair problems ran to their gynecologist or sought out an endocrinologist to do testing, the system would be overwhelmed more so than it already is! Many people would spend a great deal of time fighting with insurance companies to pay for hair removal. There is not a lot of money in the pot for ill people, let alone for healthy, hairy people, and those that pay close attention this heated debate on instituting a single payer plan, now changed to national health reform would understand this. Hair removal is considered cosmetic in this country. Resources have dwindled. In light of the debt and piling on more debt to a strained system, I doubt the succcessfullness of such a move to approach the lawyer, insurance company route trying to get your fellow citizen to pay for “YOUR” hair removal. Quietly pay for it yourself. Create a plan to earn your own money.

There are cases where a medical consultation is important, but most cases of too much hair in certain places happens to normal, healthy women and they independentally and privately take care of it.

#14

Thank you vibe for your response.
Its always nice to hear from people who actually went through the same things you did.
My problem is relatively new,(2 yrs) and so all my feelings are extreme. however I do know I have many strong points as a person as I am very pretty, and I am a lovable person inside and out. Sometimes the issue with the hair can be a bit much you know?? I just got out of a three yr relationship about a yr ago and have been dating ever since but it is hard to get close to someone for the fear that they will actually notice or make fun of you. I didn’t have this facial hair issue my whole life, I just decided to get rid of it one day with shaving, of course while not thinking clearly and have shaved and plucked ever since. Big mistake! Who knew pluckin was worse? Not me, lol So, yea. Hopefully theres a light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you for your support, and anyone else’s really.
Have a good day!

#15

There is light at the end of the tunnel.
I just commented to another post left on my original post in regards to hormone testing and I wish it were that simple. When the hair started for me I wanted an answer none was to be found. My hormones would be a bit high and I would have cysts on my ovaries and then it would all go away!
I guess Id rather take being hairy anyday to being sick.
I am glad you have points and aspects of yourself you love and know are wonderful. Hold on to these always.
If money is an issue let me give you a little advice, I would spend up to 40 if not more money a month on razors and shaving cream. Usually more when my daughter started shaving her legs! Looking back, if i would have taken that money and gone to electro once a month or stock piled it i would be DONE by now! Just a thought =)

BUT hey I dont have to shave my chin at all!!! I might have to again before this is done but today I DONT!
You will be loved for who you are, and ya know what, I am a stronger more confident woman today i think because I am hairy!!!. And I work on my ego!! I am beautiful and smart and dog gone it ppl like me! LOL!!!

Good luck hon, and keep us posted! And If you arent referring to a chicken you TWEEZE and not pluck, we pluck chickens and tweeze hairs! HAHA. It sounds so much better to me as I have tweezed many eyebrows and PLUCKED many chickens! =)