A grumpy visitor attacks!

Andrea · December 30, 2002, 5:10am

I rarely get angry mail unless it’s from manufacturers who get HairFacts warnings, but here’s a lovely one I got just two days after Christmas. Apparently Triese@aol.com has a problem with my donation page:

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
I could understand a $1.00 or $2.00, but $50,$100,$250??? What the hell is on your mind??? YOu are just as bad or even more so than the companies and people you are fighting against…That is really sad…If you want to help people help them, but don’t put a fucking price on your help!!! I have a saying…What goes around comes around…If you do good and it’s from the heart, good things will follow you…If you do bad then you will get fucked sooner or later…If you claim to do good but want money in return that is call stealing and nothing good will come out of this for you…If you can’t take care of your kitties then give them to someone that can…When u look in the mirror do you like what you see???
<hr /></blockquote>Here’s my response:

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
Hi Trisie–

I am truly sorry I offended you so deeply with my request for donations on my free website. Please allow me to explain, in hopes that I will have your understanding and approval by the end of this letter.

Some readers save over $10,000 visiting my site and avoiding the more expensive scams. After a few of them asked how they could send me money, I set up ways for people to help cover my costs if they wished. This is the way I make my living. If it were in book form, it would be OK to sell my research and writing for money, right? Well, my site is like a free book, and I make my living from people who send money because they were helped. It’s a lot like shareware software, except that it’s a website. Some people feel they get $1 worth of help from my site, and others feel they get $500 worth of help. If someone stopped me from wasting $10,000, I would give them a very generous reward.

You have a rather bizarre idea of what stealing is. My site is set up like a museum or public television station. All the information is completely free for those who can’t afford to pay, but those who found it helpful and have the means are encouraged to support projects like mine. Donations are voluntary, and you have access to the same information whether you are one of my generous readers who donates $20 or more, or someone like you who donates $0 and still has the nerve to whine about how I make a living. By your half-baked definition, PBS is stealing every time they show Sesame Street or NOVA during a pledge drive.

We are in complete agreement that what goes around comes around. I especially believe this is true about unprovoked nastiness from clueless little jerks like yourself. People like you make the world a little less pleasant, spreading your pathetic bitterness.

See? You’re right! What goes around comes around! I hope I have your understanding and approval now. It’s oh so very important to me.

Merry belated Christmas! I hope you wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Andrea <hr /></blockquote>I encourage all readers to send the author a reply at:

trisie@aol.com

skopie · January 1, 2003, 9:52am

I stumbled across this site and thought wow, this is great! I don’t know Andrea but I do know that what she is doing is wonderful. If she needs the time to research products, maintain this site and keep all the advertisements out. Then she does need support. If she makes a living helping others, that is a good thing!

Andrea · January 2, 2003, 9:53am

Grumpy visitor triese@aol.com attacks again! Silly little troll!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Try your bullshit with someone else!!! Clueless jerk I think not…It’s funny how you say you are sorry that I don’t understand your logic,but then turn around and call me names…Nice…Oh and the world is a wonderful place regardless of who lives in it,…I have the right to disagree with you and express my opinion, now if you can’t deal with that then I am sorry…p.s. Christmas was great!!! <hr /></blockquote>

James_W_Walker_VII · January 3, 2003, 2:06am

You know, I have been asked by many, many people; “If Andrea is so good, and kind, and only doing this stuff out of the kindness of her heart, then why is she always begging for money these days” or some variation of Andrea is a greedy bitch because she makes it possible for people to donate to the web sites here and on the sister sites.

I can only guess that these people don’t know what band width and daily maintenance on such an endeavor costs!
I guess they also don’t understand that someone who saves him or herself a few thousand dollars might want to say thank you with a dollar or two. Of course, if this were The Church of the Devine Andrea, no one would question any monetary solicitations.

hb2002 · January 3, 2003, 5:11am

The message from Trisie was laughable. Some people just don’t get it and obviously Trisie is one of them. I too run a service oriented business. From time to time people will ask why I charge a fee. I’ll say well, I have advertising expenses, staff, telephones etc.

I once had a customer say “well I’m not going to pay for your advertising and telephone. That’s ridiculous. Why would I pay for these things. I don’t benefit from them so why should I pay a fee that covers these expenses.”

“Ummm, well Ms. Customer of Mine, that’s how business works. Then I said, when you go to Sears, the products you buy are marked up so you are helping to pay rent, staff, postage, etc. etc.” She replies “I am not”.

Sometimes it just isn’t worth the effort to try and explain some things to someone. Trisie and Ms. Customer of Mine are just two of those people.

shiner · January 5, 2003, 2:39am

there is sssooooo much bitterness in the world today. Andrea, keep up the good work. You are providing people with some outstanding information on this site and for someone like “Trisie” to enter your site and express such anger and rudeness is ridiculous. Andrea, great response to Trisie’s little rampage.

happyjenny · April 8, 2003, 5:39pm

Andrea: I just sent you $20 and was thrilled to do it. Your site saved me time, angst, scars and pain, not to mention MONEY. As a result of finding your site a year ago, I embarked on a course of electrolysis that has changed me and my life. I was really happy to find that you had implemented such an easy way to send you a donation to help keep your awesome site up and running. (I’ve had your address tacked up in my apartment for a year and haven’t managed to snailmail you a donation–eek!)

You don’t serve ads. You don’t sell your info. You provide a fantastic service. As I’ve said in emails to you – I think your site is the embodiment of the Internet’s purpose. I have no problem helping to support the continued success of your site, since you’re investing back into it (having visited a year ago and then today, this is obvious) for the sake of all the hair facts-starved people out there searching for help.

My one suggestion: Next time a snotty brat like Trisie sends/posts hate mail, don’t spend your time composing a big response or working yourself up over the brat’s crap. Although you make many good points in your reply, Trisie types are just hateful and can’t (or don’t want to) see your logic. Go for one or two lines instead: “If you don’t agree with the practice of soliciting donations to maintain HairFacts.com, please feel free to ignore this element of the site. In the meantime, I hope you find useful information about hair removal.”

P.S. Hope the kitties are doing well. Perhaps you should start CatFacts.com for the real skinny on cat food, litter, health care, grooming and more?

Andrea · April 13, 2003, 2:37pm

It’s great to know that there are so many people who are willing to share their experiences, and that we have readers like you, happyjenny, who support this project financially as well! The kitties say thanks!

My little kitty was very underweight, but the vet has her on special food that has helped. The problem is her big sister tries to eat it all and is getting FAT!

I wish i had time to do a CatFacts site-- I love cats, but I’m already spread too thin!

Again, thanks for the kind words and support! Readers like you make sites like this possible!

blckdove · August 13, 2003, 6:13am

Trisie is an angry, angry person. I read her original e-mail and her anger seemed to be way, way over the top for what she was upset about. And I as well as the majority of others would most likely agree that there is nothing wrong with Andrea posting a page for people who would like to give donations… it’s not like she’s demanding money!!! And I am AMAZED at the amount of time that Andrea puts into this website… nearly every single post has a response from Andrea. That f*cking amazes me.

Andrea’s response was mostly great… although the message to be delivered was probably clouded by the anger that Andrea showed in the end of the letter (especially when she called Trisie and clueless little jerk.)
I think that the best way to respond to an e-mail like Trisie’s would have been to make it as kind and anger-free as possible (easier said than done, I know.) This way, Trisie would have had no reason to be angry in her second e-mail, and if she had shown anger, she would have come across as a real jerk!!! And even more, Andrea’s anger would not have clouded her e-mail’s main message to Trisie.

Many people don’t know what to do when you respond to their anger with love… I know it’s hard to do (I certainly am not able to do it all of the time.) But it really makes them think, you know? And you don’t let them get you… and that really bugs them!!!

Anyway… just some thoughts. Personally, I love Andrea for what she has done. I have been depressed about my hair problem for so long and I just found this website today. For the first time in ages I do not feel like a freak! I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my problem either, so that made me feel even worse. But now I have hundreds of people to talk to for emotional support, advice, or anything! This is a HUGE blessing, this site. Andrea, you are a goddess!! You are saving so many people. And, for the record, I am definitely planning on donating money! Why wouldn’t I??? (It just might be a while… I’m currently a the cliche broke college student!)

snafflekid · August 29, 2003, 7:37am

Considering all the scams, shams and quacks out there fleecing people out of loads of money for hair removal, it’s refreshing to find a site that is pro consumer. This is information very much worth paying for. Some people have absolutely no respect for the value of information.

LadyPersia · November 6, 2003, 10:52pm

wow andrea, i didnt know you actually made a living from this !! nice job and i LOVE your site!!
one question: are you a laser technician too ?

Andrea · November 10, 2003, 6:14am

I do not do any kind of hair removal and I don’t sell any products or services. Donations cover web costs and cat food, but that’s about it. If I made more, I would spend a lot more time on the site, but as it is, I have to do other stuff to make money.

pattycake · February 24, 2004, 5:42am

There is something , I have learned in life. You can’t let people upset you. It took me a long time to get to this point with the help of Paxil!

polki · February 27, 2004, 9:25am

WOW!

Has anybody thought that the letter came from one of the scam artist that was exposed and hopefully put out of business by Andrea’s dedicated research? Maybe it is just an attempt to upset her? It just hard to believe that after even a short visit to this site, one would not be astonished that in this busy world somebody took the time to share the knowledge for free!
This letter is a joke, no person with half the brain would ever get offended, or angry at Andrea’s subtle way of asking the donation. The first time I stumbled across this site I was amazed that somebody is doing such public service not only for free, but free of advertising too.
Well, thank you Andrea for posting this letter, it will give us a chance to express our appreciation for what you do.

Thank you for this great site, polki.

chamsi · March 21, 2004, 8:18am

Hello everybody,

I think we all get worked up (except for the extremely wise) about those types of remarks, especially when they are not called for. I agree about positive energy neutralizing negative one. It does not have anything to bounce on! It gets absorbed and released.

In those moments (when you feel under attack), try to remember that you are at a certain level and the attack comes from somebody who is at a level way below you and then ask yourself: “Do I want to stoop to that level or do I keep my dignity?”

I think we have dedicated enough of our efforts to this cause.

May you all have a good journey through life and do not let those people ruin what otherwise could be great moments of happiness.

Chamsi (trying to be wise )

yb1 · April 20, 2004, 4:30am

Andrea,

Why don’t you have paid advertising on your site? You can pick which ads to host. Of course don’t advertise anything objectionable, but if someone is selling cheap vacations or has good rates on long distance and international calling, and willing to pay you to host their banner, then what’s the problem?

Jim_Elliott · April 30, 2004, 2:52am

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Andrea:
I rarely get angry mail unless it’s from manufacturers who get HairFacts warnings, but here’s a lovely one I got just two days after Christmas. Apparently Triese@aol.com has a problem with my donation page:

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
I could understand a $1.00 or $2.00, but $50,$100,$250??? What the hell is on your mind??? YOu are just as bad or even more so than the companies and people you are fighting against…That is really sad…If you want to help people help them, but don’t put a fucking price on your help!!! I have a saying…What goes around comes around…If you do good and it’s from the heart, good things will follow you…If you do bad then you will get fucked sooner or later…If you claim to do good but want money in return that is call stealing and nothing good will come out of this for you…If you can’t take care of your kitties then give them to someone that can…When u look in the mirror do you like what you see???
<hr /></blockquote>Here’s my response:

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
Hi Trisie–

I am truly sorry I offended you so deeply with my request for donations on my free website. Please allow me to explain, in hopes that I will have your understanding and approval by the end of this letter.

Some readers save over $10,000 visiting my site and avoiding the more expensive scams. After a few of them asked how they could send me money, I set up ways for people to help cover my costs if they wished. This is the way I make my living. If it were in book form, it would be OK to sell my research and writing for money, right? Well, my site is like a free book, and I make my living from people who send money because they were helped. It’s a lot like shareware software, except that it’s a website. Some people feel they get $1 worth of help from my site, and others feel they get $500 worth of help. If someone stopped me from wasting $10,000, I would give them a very generous reward.

You have a rather bizarre idea of what stealing is. My site is set up like a museum or public television station. All the information is completely free for those who can’t afford to pay, but those who found it helpful and have the means are encouraged to support projects like mine. Donations are voluntary, and you have access to the same information whether you are one of my generous readers who donates $20 or more, or someone like you who donates $0 and still has the nerve to whine about how I make a living. By your half-baked definition, PBS is stealing every time they show Sesame Street or NOVA during a pledge drive.

We are in complete agreement that what goes around comes around. I especially believe this is true about unprovoked nastiness from clueless little jerks like yourself. People like you make the world a little less pleasant, spreading your pathetic bitterness.

See? You’re right! What goes around comes around! I hope I have your understanding and approval now. It’s oh so very important to me.

Merry belated Christmas! I hope you wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Andrea <hr /></blockquote>I encourage all readers to send the author a reply at:

trisie@aol.com<hr /></blockquote>That isn’t right to post this person’s email address. You are, by posting the address, encouraging spam.