A few questions on effectiveness

Hi all, I’m new to this forum (account was just approved today) However, I’m not new to hair removal. I signed up for this forum because I am debating on getting either electrolysis or laser on my upper thighs, butt cheeks, breasts, & perianal. I just wanted a little advice before going forward.

So a little about myself: I am a 22 year old middle-eastern descent female. I am very pale and olive toned and I have dark black hair. The coarseness of my hair varies among different body parts but I would say I pretty much have some form of hair on every single area of my body (besides palms & feet).

The areas that bother me the most are around my nipples as the hair is dark black and coarse, the further it gets from my nipples the hair is a little finer and not as dark black but there is still hair all over. For now, I’ve been plucking the dark hairs and coping with ingrowns as they come. The second area that causes me the most distress is my lower back leading down to my butt. Where the crease/line is below my butt cheek and close to my genitals, the hair is the most coarse (probably because I have shaved there in the past) On my butt cheeks there is finer but still black hair all over. I wax when I can, but it’s kind of difficult to do a good job on your own behind.

In the past, I was treated with electrolysis on my upper lip, I was very trusting of my electrolygist she was the sweetest lady and seemed very educated. I never had bad scarring, my results were always satisfying. I visited her either 8 or 9 times or 10 or 12. I don’t really remember as it was about a year ago. She would insert the needle, send a jolt into the pore, and then remove the hair with tweezers. Sometimes she would squeeze a part of my skin with her fingers (wearing gloves) I never knew why she did this. Anyways my results were great for a few months. A year later most of the hair is back. There is definitely less but still enough to make me have to shave it and see a 5o clock shadow. So my first question is, why were my results not permanent? Did I not go enough?

Second, I would rather spend the money on electrolysis than chancing it with laser (although I’ve been told I’m the perfect candidate for laser) however, the lady that did my upper lip says she does not do electrolysis on body parts as its too time consuming. Are all electrolygists like this? I live in the Niagara region of Ontario, Canada by the way…Another reason I don’t like laser is the shaving aspect. Recently I bought a Tria 4x Laser. I took the risk of shaving my butt (after only ever waxing) and I started lasering my butt. I couldn’t do it. The results were not immediate for me as I hear with others and dear God was it ever painful (and that’s coming from someone with an incredibly high pain tolerance, no really my electrolgist told me she had never seen someone get electrolysis on the upper lip and be so calm). So I gave up on the Tria and had to go back to waxing my butt but it’s still quite stubly. This is why I prefer electrolysis, I’m in a relationship and I do not want a stubbly butt even for a single day.

I really need a miracle, my body hair is tearing my boyfriend and I apart as I never let him touch me. I feel depressed, angry and sometimes just want to die because I feel like men find me very attractive but they don’t see all the maintenance I put into myself, they don’t see me under my clothes with a hairy butt and back. So I feel like a phony, I feel like I don’t belong and that it is unfair to stay with a man who desires something sexually that I cannot give him because of my insecurities…I feel like my life is a trap and that I don’t believe any man will ever truly love me for me… I just wish I could be comfortable in my own skin… Please any advice or help on how to get rid of my butt hair for good would be amazing.

I have kind of lost all hope… what with trying electrolysis on my upper lip (such a small area and still not seeing permanent hair loss) and the Tria laser… I wonder if I will ever be happy and hair free… I wonder if it is possible…