I’m feeling worse than normal today. I saw my eldest sister for the first time in months and as expected, she asked me why I was wearing a turtle neck. Of course, I’m already drained from this same question a billion people ask me on a regular basis, as it is a reminder of the issue I’m currently dealing with. If I didn’t wear anything, I’m sure I would get the same stares and questions, so I try to cover the area to feel less exposed and less self-conscious. It’s hard for myself to judge the severity of the situation, because I don’t see the same others see, but it doesn’t change how imprisoned I feel.
Anyways, I was honest and told my sister about my situation…. And she literally stood there and laughed in my face. I should have known better, as she has always found something to nitpick about and it is usually my weight. Instead she made me feel like a joke for a female.
I feel so angry. So angry I just spent the majority of the day taking care of her children and taking her little girl to a clinic to get examined for alleged sexual abuse, as her mother posts on facebook that she is bummed that she got stood up on a date. Actually, I don’t feel angry for what I did, but angry that she is so heartless. This is a bit off topic for this forum, so I won’t go on about too many details, but I needed to vent, because after such a difficult day, that just kind of tipped me off the edge!