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#119593 - 10/12/15 10:36 PM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
FlowersandCake Offline
Contributor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 16
Loc: Texas
I know your pain frown I sometimes believe that I will never get married unless I can get rid of all my body hair because that will be the only way I can have someone love me completely when I can love myself. I have a boyfriend, he has body hair (legs, arms, chest, and beard) I have hair all over my body! And this hair is very thick, I used to pluck all of my body hair every 2 weeks when we were to come together, my skin would be somewhat smooth but I also had to wear a very expensive lotion that would give my skin the effect of being a lot smoother than it actually was. Anyways, I would get lots of ingrown hair because of it, it was time consuming, and at the end I was still hairy and still couldn't let him see my skin in the light. He knows about my hairy problem, there's no way to hide it. He loves me still, he has seen my scars and felt my hairy belly, he doesn't say anything; if he would of said something, I think I would break and feel so terribly ashamed, even more so. I have tried all kinds of hair removal and I am desperate now, so desperate that I am willing to pay more per month for electrolysis than I pay for my car. If he leaves me will I just give up on sharing my life with another man? I too have thought about it but I don't think I will do it. I'm not the only woman with hair issues, I feel the right man will love me and wait for my treatments to give results so we can have a true care free relationship. Will it be hard? I know it will be but if he loves me than he will be stay by me no matter what.
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Finally I got the courage to get electrolysis!

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#119605 - 10/13/15 10:40 AM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
MichaelS Offline
Contributor

Registered: 10/09/15
Posts: 15
Loc: States
A friend of mine has a girlfriend who he has been in a relationship with for 6 years now.
After a year into their relationship he started to get hair growth problems on his chest and back.
He was embarrassed of this and took some electrolysis treatments (with success).
But the interesting part is that he was more annoyed by it then she was. It never was a huge problem for her.

If you want a relationship with him and vice versa, then go for it.
If he can't accept the fact you have hair all over your body even when you tried plenty of methods to remove them, then that'll be his loss.

Everyone has their own flaws, you'll just have to accept yours and try not to pay as much attention to it because he might do the same.
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#120031 - 11/25/15 09:13 PM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
1ClassyLady Offline
Member

Registered: 07/01/15
Posts: 4
I completely understand. I'm in my 40s and have never experienced a loving relationship with a man because I fear what will happen when they go to caress my face and discover stubble where there should be soft skin. I can only imagine a man would be mortified. I'm mortified by it and it's MY body!

I think stories like Caitlin Jenner's might actually complicate my situation. For the record, I believe all humans should be free to be their true selves. We live in a world that fears that, though. So I imagine a man going to caress my face, feeling the stubble, panicking and then the fall out of my trying to convince him I really was born a woman. Then, after all that, I would end up losing interest in him for being a bigot. Newsflash: it's 2015, people! Live and let live, already, gees!

But I digress...Yes, my life has definitely been negatively affected by this curse. I somehow feel less than completely feminine and I so desperately want to revel in my femininity. My social life is scheduled around my electrolysis treatments. I don't plan anything for up to 2 days prior to treatments because I have to let the hair grow out.

I'm learning to enjoy my own company and feel like I will never experience the kind of loving relationship I long for. I have so much love to give, I'm a good person, a great friend and I think I would make a wonderful life partner for someone. I just can't imagine ever getting to experience that, though.

Thanks for reading.

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#123043 - 11/10/16 03:49 AM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
Lillox Offline
Contributor

Registered: 10/18/16
Posts: 16
I think that I can understand your feelings better than anyone here... I noticed growing hairs on my shoulder since I was 17, a year before they were a bunch of nice blonde hairs and I'd never thought what I was going to live: the worst nightmare of my life. Now I'm 21 and these hairs seem to develop all over the back. I hate them so much, I'm not happy anymore, the taste of happines... I don't feel free, I look at my friend and they don't even imagine what this means. My life sucks. When i was 16 i had my first relation ship with a beautiful boy (i'm gay) and we've seen each other growing and my hairs ruined our relation. Two months ago i met a new boy, He also told me that didn't like hairy boys... I was diyng inside becouse He didn't see yet how hairy I am and then we broke out two weeks ago. I can't study anymore and it's going on since i was 17. Now I'm studying pharmacy but where is the meaning in doing this? I see others with their mates, they suppert each other, why my life has been so cruel with me? What do i have to do? Give up? My family doesn't know about my problem, about my sexuality, about who I really wanted to be and I've cried so many times while I were all alone in my car, while running in a park, while alone at home. I think of my ex boyfriends, they are smooth and so their new boys, insted of me, hairy.
I repeat, what do i have to do? Find a guy with my same problem? It's so sad, becouse people look at you mainly for who you are outside, they talk about feeling. I don't believe in those feelings that fade away for something that you don't like about me, you have looked into my eyes for 2 months and then when you look at my flaws those feelings don't exist anymore. I don't believe in love anymore, I fall in love becouse I'm afraid to be alone in my life, and it's so beautiful when someone type you a message to know where you are, call you to hear your voice... It was like this when i was in a relation, now no more.
My life is so sad, my family has a lot of problems, I never thought about suicide, but many times I thought to leave my house and my family, becouse I'm suffering inside, i got worser and worser attitude, always aggressive, aleays in my room, always anxious. That's how I feel.
Many times I dream of waking up from this nightmare, i dream of being smooth, put a tank and go to the gym as the other guys do. Many times I dream that It's just a disease and that there is a cure. It hurts like nothing else.


Edited by Lillox (11/10/16 03:57 AM)

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#123046 - 11/11/16 09:33 PM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
hairy Harry Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 59
Lillox, sorry to read about how you're feeling, you're only 21 and male! I'm a female and have had a beard for years (almost gone now) .. How I wish I had your problem! .. I've been with my partner for the last 15 years and he's known about my struggle with hair issues and he's stood by me... I think your meeting that wrong guys, they sound very shallow if they're going to dump you because of a few hairs.

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#123047 - 11/12/16 09:09 AM Re: Hair Growth & relationships! [Re: Sparkle78]
fenix Offline
Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 03/17/12
Posts: 461
Lillox, your hair problems is just one element contributing to your emotional distress. I feel like the bigger issue is your situation with your family and struggling living two separate lives around them. On top of that you're feeling rejected in relationships now and cornering yourself as if this is how your life will be 10 years from now.

My advice is for you to focus on your education and don't be distracted by your personal life and relationships hardships. Education will lead you to independence and financial comfort. You will be able to live your life more freely. You will meet all sorts of people in your life who will accept you as you are.

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